Since yesterday there have been a few relevant events I would like to blog about, first because I am starting to have fun again after days of wallowing in self pity and getting some of my Humour back that I feared might be only a Matrix design and not me, instead I have had a ball for the past few hours with this blog, I enjoyed My Self just being Here, no requirements to be met , the simplicity of sitting content of me 🙂
One event woth writing about was that I watched 2 videos by Bernard that made me cry, one was titled “God loves Self Abuse” which I published on my wall on Facebook, I watched it twice but the second time I did not have an emotional release, I could stand One and Equal, the other was titled : “The Science of Self Forgiveness is in the Water”, they were both powerful not more than me, One and Equal :), and I felt something moved inside of me, I shifted on a body level, had no drinks at all and not even tempted, I just sat here on my couch after cleaning my home, cooking and then played with wordpress, I enjoyed My Self :).
Today I realised that one of my Fears of Desteni was losing “Love” even though I understood in self honesty that we have never loved or understood what Love is if our starting point in Life was always Self Interest and therefore manipulation, I feared the idea that I would lose the sense of how to relate to another human being completely with no possibility of return.
Today I realized as well that this is not possible, the problems we face in relationships are based on Lies, Mind Constructs, Memories, all stuff of the MIND that feeds separation, the solution can be found in Oneness and Equality, I have no experience of that, just starting to experience me beyond the mind but it’s a journey worth taking, a journey to My Self to realize what standing One and Equal really is, Life just IS.
In Oneness and Equality the other is me, what I give I give in Oneness and Equality to myself, we stop the delusions about who was right and wrong, we stop the credit/ debit game, we own everything that happened in our life in Self Honesty and release the other from our delusions, we were never victims, we were just hiding behind a blanket that was always too short and when we tried to pull it up to cover our heads it would uncover our feet, hiding was extensively tiring and the guilt and shame just unbearable.
Today I felt I look forward to hugging my mum again, not in the guilt of needing her help, not in the wanting something from her, not in the blame and shame of the past, I just want to hug her and feel how does a “clear” hug feels like, not because I need one or desire one, today I am Self Content, no wishing for anything that is not already Here, just because I would like to experience myself one and equal to this clear hug and to her for the first time in my life.
Today she called me for a chat about something that happened to her, our lives have always been a mirror to each other in a way that we could never discount.
She went to play cards with her over 60 group, one of the players was a lady telling her story, she was nicknamed Hot Wanda, but nobody knew why, she explained that since she was hot and had a chilled husband she spent her life having sex with the husband’s friends behind his back and had a ball at it, my mum is not a moralist, this was not a morality issue, she was clear about it, then a gentleman told a story of how “by mistake” the night before he stole some expensive fish from the supermarket (my mum wondered why the sea bass ?) and justified it saying he was out of work, they both left the playing table in a rush one to go off to Mass and the other to teach a religious class to children, she stayed sitting at the table wondering, is everyone lying here, does anyone live a principled life, why go to church, how do you dare teaching children ? I understand me, the Maddalena but yous two, what are you doing ?
The annoyance was extensive, she was clear that it was not about them but about herself and she pinpointed it to the irritation that she felt because they represented her lies, different approach, my mum chose flagellation, punishing herself all her life for not having been a good woman according to agreed morality even though she was single and not cheating, so of a lesser degree of sin in her own eyes than deception still she never reconciled her past, she stopped going to church because the church did not approve and so their paths parted according to what she believed was principle, not self directive principle, she looked into living an honest life in punishment at least, this is a pattern I repeated extensively so it was of great assistance to me to see myself in her, one and equal, she felt ashamed for the life she led and never cleared that shame, so looking at these people as separate from herself she felt indignation first, they didn’t self punish, they had the catholics to clear the slate and then they would start abusing from scratch every day, Con-fession and absolution was their companion, my mum didnt’ have that, she felt duped. Then when she digged deeper in Self Honesty she realised she was angry with herself for having allowed herself to accept and believe in punishment for what she did realizing that others had not embraced the same lives, they didn’t have a better life, just different lies that they lived out , she saw the common point of lying and that she was not better or worse, just living out accepted beliefs and her own desire to be judged good above all else, above herself, above the principle of Oneness and Equality where she would count herself as Equal and One if she could let it all go and stop the abuse of herself as Life. She could see this, it was common sense to her, I want to point out that she is 70, Italian (meaning extensively brainwashed), ex catholic, she didn’t think for a moment that it was too late to release herself, she told me she was going to jump on her bicycle and cycle around to start this process, she got it at the first “go ” I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe …” if she can embrace self honesty and self forgiveness there is no reason why anyone else could not.
I was not as fast to jump on the bicycle, I had to drag myself through the mud a little more but eventually I got it, it’s about stopping it all and simply being Here.
A note to the Pope
Dear Pope, stop spreading lies about the Hereafter, let’s look at the Here that is a big mess since there is always time for after, suggest to try and start with an honest job, join Holiday on Ice, you have the costumes already and plenty of people to take with you on a dazzling Tour of the world, you can be an entertainer, but not one that puts himself above Life and everyone else in self interest, stop the abuse.
Give a Self Honest example of Self Forgiveness, nobody needs forgiveness , forgiveness is an act of abuse a gift that keeps on giving, leave behind your Possessions, the ludicrous Popemobile -you are not Batman -, stop believing that you are above all others and that you are special, we have given that up for Equality and Oneness, lay down the rings, the furs you can keep some because the ice ring is cold, sell your riches and feed the world, go barefoot like Jesus, stop protecting child molesters and get an Honest life, you are the hiding curtain offered to those that Fear standing, you are a disservice to Humanity, I no longer fear, I stand, my mum stands and so can you.
Stop deceiving yourself, get Real, join the Desteni I process and start living a dignified life, get more information on Process at
The Pope saluting before taking on his new place as a back up performer at Holiday on Ice, grateful for his Awakening to the Truth of Oneness and Equality, we salute him and wish him well.
I am the Pope one and equal to him and I forgive myself for allowing myself to abuse Life to feed my delusion of Self Importance in spite of Life
I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was the desire for power and greed that I stood one and equal to and shared with the Pope in spite of everyone else and the extensive abuse I had to committ/endure due to my resistance to seeing that there is only one Principle that guides this Universe, Oneness and Equality and that I am responsible for everything that exists One and Equal to me
I forgive myself for allowing myself to want to be special and more important than others instead of realizing those are desires of the Mind and I am not the Mind, I am Life Here One and Equal in every moment of Breath
I forgive myself One and equal to the Pope, I stop inside of me my participation in the delusion of separation, so that this abuse of Life may stop and we may all stand awoken from this nightmare in Oneness and Equality in support of Life One and Equal in everything that exists. I stop, I stand and in Self Honesty and Self forgiveness I walk my path of correction as Breath, as Life