Day 151: The Biggest Missing Piece – A Reply to Abraham Hicks

I followed Abraham’s teachings for over 10 years, I bought all the videos, books and tapes available and brainwashed myself with them, literally.
I had to make a few changes in my life to keep up with Positive Thinking, for example I would not allow negative thinkers around me and would blame them for ‘bringing the tone of the positive’ down, so to speak, like in mathematics, if you have positive numbers to which you add negative numbers, the positive numbers decrease, so if I was a +10 and my friends a -7 and I ended up being a +3, it was obviously Their Fault.
I went to a few events as well, Houston & San Antonio Texas, a venue I believed I manifested in perfect synchronicity with one of my husband unplanned business trips, during which we had a terrible fight and he boarded a plane to return home a few days before Abraham’s meeting.
During his flight back home he lost his luggage where his treasured toothbrush was, since he was particular about brushing his teeth I could imagine the stress with a certain pleasure, there you go dear, see what negative thinking does to you. When you are a Positive thinker it’s cool to look down at the miseries of the negative thinkers ‘thinking’ that they are doing that to themselves, boyohboy, when will they ever learn.
It was an easy ship to board, and I can call it a ship with reason, I joined their cruise program to Mexico on this Positive Wave/The Secret craze.
Then I decided that since this was my daily bread I should take it as far as I could, go on a deserted island and manifest money out of nothing to prove that it worked and then teach others how to do it.
It actually Did Not work, I spent all my Money in 4 years and while I pushed and strived to stay positive reality took a while to sink in, I saw as well, just recently how those Teachings diminished me, as I believed basically that my hard work in the physical real world was worth nothing and that making money was the result not of having consistently aligned myself to the system and having worked my ass off, but simply of me being good at manifesting, at positive thinking, I scuffed my physical life and my physical participation for my Mind bullshit.
The landing was not an easy one, considering that I went from positive thinking to the realization ‘there is something terribly wrong with this world’ first and then to Desteni, which would have been for me living on “charges’ just about as polarized as one could get into a lifetime, Desteni being on the extreme ‘negative’ polarity of the spectrum, otherwise called ‘in touch with reality’ I thought that I would not survive the stretch either, that I would snap in half and that would be the end of me.
It’s been over a year since I started walking with Desteni and applying their tools, two days ago I watched Abraham again, in a video called ‘The Biggest Missing Piece’ I used to really always get a kick out of the channelings and discount everything I saw when someone opposed the teachings as ‘them, not getting it’, this time this is what I noticed:
A man exposed very clearly his distress about The World and what is going on, which would equate phase 2 of my life, he is still lacking phase 3, Desteni, because he has not yet heard about us, maybe our messages will reach him this way. Basically he woke up to the shithole of this existence and was not taking any positive chit chat for an answer
Things Abraham did that I did not notice before:
sympathized with the man, told him ‘yes you are right we are not denying what you are saying, horrific things are indeed going on everywhere’, the ‘WE’ hit me for the first time, because ‘WE’ means there is more of ‘Us’ than ‘Yous’ -and they always said there are more than 100 entities channeling through One voice as Abraham-, and ‘We’ is usually granted to Royalty that speak as ‘We’, for the same reason, because more of us means more than One of You, in case you didn’t get the superiority point through the “Channeling Act” or ‘the Royalty title” itself.
The apparent equalizing was another way to level the play field but the ‘WE’ staid so there could be no real leveling or equalizing for real.
The man went on exposing in a very articulate manner what he saw in the world and how disgusted he was by it all, the cameras took in the people in the background, a typical channeling bunch, of lifeless uncomfortable lot that didn’t know how to respond, some sneered, because after all they were paying money for the ‘good feeling‘ and like me with my friends they wanted no ‘party pooper’ around that brought in reality into the equation as the effort to float above reality takes some consistency, being reality everywhere and hard to avoid.
Through an absolute unrelated gimmick he was taken on a Death trip to Heaven, to remind him that there is death if all else fail, be patient, and then on a closing that was rushed into ‘your choice my man, I have a really good story here that gives you joy but you want to insist on reality? – Let’s be clear that I have not failed you, the story stands, it’s YOU no longer willing to believe it hei- remember where to place the blame when you’ll review our little chat.”
Here some of the replies from us as a Group

The BIGGEST Missing Piece – Response to Abraham Hicks – by Bernard

The Missing Piece – a Video response to Abraham Hicks, by Andrea

The Biggest Missing Piece — Video Response to Abraham Hicks – by Maya

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks, by Marlen

It was painful to watch, the point is, is it true that ‘We can’t handle The truth’? Is the fear of the Truth of this existence and ourselves that is making us seek the unbelievable ad then make us beLieve it, what if we woke up to the state of this world to do what is required to create a Life that is Best for All?
Wouldn’t that be what we say we want, so what are we waiting for looking for obvious Mind games vs reality, because get this, Reality is Not going away just because we don’t focus on it, Reality is Here to stay, how else could we face what went wrong with our Creation and make an existential correction that starts with Each One of us?
There is the question to ask about Why we believe the stories told by The Positive Thinking Teachers and if we can become self honest about it we can say, because we mainly deal with negative thoughts and emotions as the experience of ourselves that we cannot explain or make sense of, we spend the first years of our lives trying to find reasons and meaning to both this Creation, for which we have no clear memories telling us how the fuck did we get here and why, and the mechanics of how we experience ourselves, one of the main oppositions we find to the Desteni Message is people fearing to leave behind ’emotions and feelings’ and yet we looked for so long to make sense of them, which is the point where Abraham fits in neatly, when you say, “emotions and feelings are your guidance system”, everything seems to make sense, there you go, we are on a Treasure Hunt and they forgot to tell us how to move around, got it, follow the good feelings back Home. Pity it was and is all just a big fat (expensive) Lie.
Check out #EqualMoney for a solution that will change Reality for All in reality and not in our dis-eased Minds seeking for solace in a world that truly doesn’t make sense.
I have done lots of Sf for my involvement with LOA, I will apply SF for/as Esther’s Role in this Character Creation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question an entity that told me that all is well in this world when it was clear that it is not
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an alter ego as a Sub Personality that takes over as ‘channeling’ that says things I can not take responsibility for because ‘I am not there’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question the point of the Economics/Monetary System in this world as a source of suffering because Abraham said that we each chose our Life experience even though I would not have chosen a life of misery, war, starvation, murder or rape for myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let go of mine and Jerry’s Common Sense about wanting to know about the Whys of the “Wrongs of the World” and for accepting and allowing an entity whose purpose we didn’t question because the message ‘felt good’ to con-vince us that ‘that was not out work’ as that we didn’t have to take responsibility for this world as Our Creation, as One
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we deserved to stay at the Westin and have the best food and the best life while others did not because I justified the existence of suffering as having  made the “wrong/different choice” up in heaven before they reincarnated that resulted in a shitty life that no one could possibly wish for themselves
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question Death and the anomaly of it in a world of Joy, not even when my lifelong partner crossed over and I was devastated by grief because I have to stick to my story that Death is Fun and we just ‘don’t get it’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide that my partner Jerry had cancer for many months because we could not come up with a good explanation about the fact that we each choose how to exit the physical and yet Jerry was sick and in pain for months having to go through Chemotherapy like everyone else that is Cancer stricken in the world
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie about the sickness of Jerry attributing it first to a spider bite that magically turned into leukemia and for hiding and then lying about seeking treatment with stem cells in South Korea, because this would have made us ‘normal people’ trying everything to stay alive haveing a dreadful Fear of Death, and not the Joyful Deliberate Creators that looked forward to the transition into the non -physical through the fun experience of ‘croaking’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I become a Beacon of Joy through having All My desires fulfilled, then this will create opportunities for the world at large to align to well being, even though I have been telling the same story consistently for over 20 years and the world has become worse and yet I did not bother to have a Reality Check because My Reality worked out just fine
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the consequences of a message that glorifies Death in a sick and sickening world, where we made Death look so glamorous that people may believe it is a cool way out, such as Karen, the lady that suffered from grave depression and ended up committing suicide after which we deleted her from the Forums because it gives the wrong impression of the joyful croaking transition into non physical – and maybe of our responsibility in it as she took our words about Death being so cool that she could not wait to experience it-
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really Hear what the Distressed man brought to the table which could have been my chance to question The Truth of this Mess-Age I am spreading for over 20 years, because I was too busy keeping up the act that gives me a living and without which I would no longer know Who I Am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not Hear the Common Sense of the Words of a Man that exposed the inconsistency between reality and the Message of Law of Attraction, targeting only the Few that have already access to a world of well being, having enough to either attend the seminars and buy books and tapes, which means they have food as well and a roof over their head and an education that allows them to read or access the message in some way, vs the world at large where 2.5 billion people don’t have access to sanitation and 1 billion is starving and or malnourished as we write
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and belittle the man who raised some much important questions regarding the state of the world, because not belittling him would mean belittling me and my message and this cannot happen
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell the story that the ‘Secret behind The Secret’ is me and my ‘original Message of well-being and ‘You can have it if you Want it’ when in truth the Secret is that in an obviously finite universe where resources are limited if you take more than you need, someone will have to go without, which is what is shown to us in the increase of poverty and starvation since law of Attraction was introduced and practiced
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to insist that these are the best of Times for ‘Shifts to Happen’ and only rarely add that they are ‘The Worse of Times too’, not making the connection that it must be if everything exists within polarity and that increasing the pulling of the Positive will have to create an increase on the Negative, and that is fine, as long as the Negative happens somewhere remote where we can’t find a correlation to ‘that thing we do’ as we participate in the positive Polarity of The Mind for our own selfish and self centered reasons
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that now that Jerry is gone and I no longer have a sounding board to confirm that everything I say is true, everything may come tumbling down if I engage in depth questions such as the gentleman’s questions about The State of the world for too long, and I will be exposed as a fraud in the best case or a mental case at worst
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear facing the Reality of this World and the Suffering that exists because this would invalidate my whole Life’s work and Myself as I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘Abraham’s Channeler‘ and friend.

2012: The Physical vs Spirituality, is there a war going on ?

I have been living on and off the ‘redefine Money’ thread, as I have been actively working on closing the Gap between myself and Equal Money and I have now bridged most points  quite efficiently as me, and I enjoy the sharing of this Wonderful New Unifying Concept to people who have not yet come in touch with it.

One thing that has ben happening consistently on the FB threads is the contribution of the spiritual groups, they are fiercely opposed, which is mind-boggling to say the least, for some reasons they fail to see Money as Equality fit quite comfortably  into all their well nurtured beliefs Goodness, helping each others, brothers and sisters, we are Love, the two things just don’t compute satisfactorily.

I want to look at my own experience with the Spirituality movement and how I embraced it for many years and why, as a way to see for myself my own motivations and what were my fears that led me to want and desire to believe in the invisible, discarding even the idea of looking at the physical where there was no effort to be made, nothing to believe, where it was enough to just open my eyes and look.

It started with looking for reasons for this existence, obviously I was not born rich, even though for the living standards of the time in Italy we were well off, my mum with her overtime money at one point even had enough to buy 3 Black and white TVs, we kept one, one went to my great-grandmother and one for my school. I felt very important when the nuns thanked me publicly for what my mum had done, and very proud, I was about to learn that Money could give me value and recognition and I enjoyed the feeling of being the vicarious giver and the acknowledgement that went with it.

As I grew up I realized that there was Inequality in the way people lived, even within my own family, my grandmother for the time we lived in was rich, had a nice big apartment with 2 bathrooms and a huge living room while we lived with my mum in the subsidized government housing. I envied the life my grandparents lived, the no limit life that Money can grant you, the freedom to go to the supermarket and not have a limited amount of money to spend, I liked the splurging, the luxury, the going out to eat at restaurants where I could order as many Cokes as I wanted, until I burst with gas and food.

I even looked down at my mum in contempt, I understood that Money=Value and since she had less, she had obviously less value, not only in my perception of course, this was her perception of herself but as a system I took it on board and made it mine.

My participation in and as the money System grew as I understood that Money buys you privileges, freedom, the ability to be mobile, to have choices, Money was clearly the God of this world, but on the outside I married the secretive attitude we hold about Money, we all know what it is for each one of us, yet nobody talks about it, owns up to it, instead we play it down, we say I don’t care about Money, we want to be noble, above it, beyond it because the fear that we will never ever have it, or never have enough is just too great to be faced.

I recall 3 movies that took on this point quite clearly, one was Indecent Proposal, where a woman in a couple is offered 1 million to have sex with R. Redford and they decide together with the husband to accept, and it destroys them, so this point was morality for sale, another more recent called The Box, where a black box is delivered to a very ordinary, well off, educated American family in the 60′ and they were told that they would have 1 million if they pressed the button on the black box, they were told as well that someone would have to die, but they did not know this person and had never or will never know who he/she was. This movie covered the point of morality, humanity and Life for sale. Did they press the button ? Watch the movie 🙂 But I am sure anyone can guess quite accurately.

The third movie was an Italian movie, very interesting, a man is unemployed and on a social grant for being an invalid, when his social grants are suspended he talks with the grant inspector and tells him, please don’t suspend my grant, yes I faked my invalidity but in a way it’s real, I was a communist and believed in communism for over 20 years until one day I woke up and realized the world I live in, my belief system collapsed, hence I am now invalid, no longer fit for society, so I never really lied you see, if you don’t support me you may be the one that turns me into a criminal, what choices does a mind invalid such as me have left ? But the system doesn’t stand by him and instead the inspector gives him a long speech about Honesty and what it means to be an Honest man, like himself. 8 Years later the Inspector starts to receive anonymous monthly envelopes with Money, big sums, like 20000 euros per month, and it goes on for 10 months. After 10 months the man to whom he had decided to suspend the social grants turns up, he tells him he was the sender of the money, he tells him he is just sharing his wealth and that it was thank to him that he turned into an efficient criminal, he was into selling drugs to children, prostitution of minors, robbing old women, and he had become as ruthless as the criminal life demands, all thanks to him, now it was sharing time. The Inspector said he had not touched a penny since he did not know where the money was coming from, the man told him he still owed him 800000 euro to get to 1 million of euros which was his rightful 10% of the ill earned wealth. The Inspector refused, the wife of the inspector asks to talk to him in private and threatens to leave if he doesn’t take the money, and so, he accepts, for the sake of the peace of the family. Only later the man tells him he had won the money betting every week for 10 years on the Inspector phone number, until the numbers came out, he won 10 million and wanted to give him 10%, but he wanted to show him that he was not as honest as he thought, nobody is, Money has an outwordly allure, we know what Money is connected to and what it could do for us, freedom, choices, no more fears for the future, possibility to share with others having enough for oneself, education for children, healthcare, it’s hard to say NO.

So, at an unconscious level that we play out in movies to show each other that we are just as dishonest as anyone else, as ready to sell out as anyone else, we all know, we KNOW we would make the same choices, Money or God, Money or Love, Money or Spirituality ? No matter what we think about ourselves somewhere inside of us we know what we would choose, Money is a sure bet, it can buy the ‘love’ of this world, meaning company and sex, with Money who needs God, being God just the insurance policy for the poor that have nothing else and Spirituality ? Come on, if you had all the Money in the world, would you mind fuck yourself into oblivion or would you take the round the world cruise, the trip you always wanted, go shopping for a house renovation, you would be the busy body into all the latest trends, the value point was never changed, just suppressed and it would be unleashed into spending frenzies updating your desires as days go by from the new spending power platform.

So Spirituality/God is the best compensation tool for the poor, the second price that has a ‘value’ on the value market, the rich are clever, they accepted to give value to spirituality/God as a noble thing, while they fuck off and enjoy the  Money. There are as well the ones that have too much to live peacefully, guilt and shame kill them but fear prevents them from sharing, so they are stuck between a rock and a hard place and that is the ideal spot for meditation, to quiet the mind, to stop the guilt and shame without having to give up or sharing the lot. And a great place to become Spiritual as a justification of WHY we don’t need to share or care without feeling guilty, it’s unrequired since all it’s just an illusion, we are energy in movement, information and patterns floating in space, All One already. I have been in both places myself.

For those that don’t have access to what they desired and for those that fear and are shocked by this reality we can say Spirituality is just another coping mechanism, a way to justify why the world is as it is, because if we dig back in time, we all have been asking ourselves this question, having been products of an abusive system that may have more or less touched us, scarred us and scared us, we know of the abuse that is going on, we have questioned it and when we came out of the questioning as “Spiritual Ones’ we have just simply, by default, given up substance and our ability to make any substantial change to the world system as me,  reality as me, One and Equal, as myself being the abused and abuser in a system that is not designed in benevolence, no matter how hard we try to believe it, a thin line of doubt will always run through our beliefs, what if this was all bullshit ? The question stays alive and kicking.

So when we start to expose the Equal Money system for what it is, an Equalizing tool to level the playfield for All,  exposing the hidden suppressed desire or guilt and shame of the Spiritual Ones, the fears and the resolve of never going back to look in self honesty at the point of Money and how we have already sold out long ago, resistance comes up. I am almost sure that many of them are not aware of what is the exact point they are yet unable to reconcile, it’s buried deep and the digging is not desirable not even for What is Best for All, let sleeping dog lie.

Those that don’t have enough probably fear of even “hoping” that a change may indeed be possible, they have worked so hard at accepting the mediocrity of their penniless reality that they would have to redefine reality by looking at their hidden fears again and expose them to themselves and that is bloody scary, yes they had been preaching Equality of some sort all their life, while they battled and suppressed their desires for ‘more’, their hopes to be finally one day ‘more Equal’ having accepted their Equal – Minus place in the world system as ‘the way things are’.  Wouldn’t then a system of Equal giving, a for-giving system be the absolute match to their belief system ? The physical representation lived in the practical of what spirituality is all about ?
The recognition of One Common essence, Life, running through all of us as Breath, One and Equal  and therefore the Equal right to sharing what the planet is giving for All ?

Instead This is not happening, consistently, I should add.  The reason is pretty clear, if I was never an Equal to start with, pretending to be more because I was not materialistic while all the while I suppressed my own self judgement of inferiority as a non achiever and a loser, I cannot conceive Equality as me because I was never an Equal to start with, I was just deluding myself inside a polarity between have and have-nots that made me suffer and I managed to leave behind.

Ultimately, that leads to Spirituality, there is a fear of death, the looking for an answer, a purpose, a reason to make sense of this Life experience, there must be a sense, what is the reason, why are we here ? And off we go with the stories, energy, consciousness, spirit, the afterlife, it’s just a ride, passing through, life is but the batting of eyelids, a moment in eternity and the list goes on infinitely to diminish the physical experience and make it unsubstantial. We survive embracing heavenly gossips and hear say of the ones that say they can see beyond the veil and either wrote or spoke about it, we failed to notice that none of them is looking beyond the same veil, because no afterlife report is equal to another one, we discount such earthly points like “lack of common sense” given that reporting should be Equal from whichever angle you look at something but just considering an added perspective, and not a complete reversal of stories, characters, paths and processes, just because WE WANT TO BELIEVE THERE IS VALUE IN THIS EARTHLY EXPERIENCE and we ended up hanging on to whatever fitted us best, whatever we saw could uplift us the most out of the physical reality of suffering and abuse.

So, where is the value of the earthly experience? If it’s in the AFterlife, we may have been had, didn’t they say As ABove So Below ?  This statement is pretty consistent across teachings so what makes us believe that unless we correct what is HERE, the AfterHere should be better ?

If the Below sucks, who can swear by the Godliness and Heavenlyness of the ABove ? What if the Above is Us without the Body, the Breath, what is in fact making Us Real and not imaginary thoughts and information floating in space ? What if the Physical was supposed to be Heaven Equal for All before the After can be heavenly lived  by All Equally?

Now this is a point that hurts. We spent our Lives wanting to believe in the benevolence of this Universe, this was the hardest point for me to let go, my idea of benevolence,  it still brought up tears just now, because benevolence as creation had to include me and my own benevolence, I was born good from a loving Creator, it was living that fucked me up.

Yesterday I saw a post on FB that made me want to reply, but I refrained because I felt anger and I had to address that anger first, the post was of a naked woman with one breast that survived cancer and the title was ‘Isn’t God good ?’ No, actually God is not good and if we use this example as God saving her then we must think he gave her cancer in the first place, if God created everything we have looong lists of very questionable creations that need explaining, so delusions in our attempt to hold on to an idea of benevolence are rampant and the hardest to let go, for me this was a key point to allow myself to face reality and there were many hidden and disguised points all around the same theme that came up for a while and I had to address consistently, regardless the fact that my self realization of reality started from precisely  this point.

When I joined Desteni my perception of myself had already shattered, I was on a mind overload, I was full of knowledge and information, you named it, I knew about it, heard about it, read about it, no practical application of anything, by that time I was on my knees with a self-created crippling addiction to Pot, my drug of choice to numb myself out of reality, and unable to hold any further delusion about myself, spirituality, LOA, Matrix Energetics, Quantum Physics and the Goodness ad benevolence of this experience and of the HereAfter.

The slippery slope started with the Conspiracy theorists, I bumped on some information about cure for cancer, and found that a few had claimed to be able to cure it and had been persecuted, isolated and threatened and some killed, from there the Benevolence of a planet in which I participated with my cancer research support, charity balls, upholding the benevolence of Humanity and all that bullshit just came tumbling down like a castle of cards.

There was no benevolence I could still see in a world where we kill each other, abuse each other, withhold a cure for a deadly disease, rape, torture, poisoning of food, water, Big Pharma, mind control of  humanity for consumerism, tied each other down through an economic system of enslavement, the Borgia would be shocked to see how far we took their teachings of manipulation and power crimes. Humanity was in a state of mess, spirituality became just another obvious delusion in the face of a Profit driven world that I had fully embraced and learnt how to make it work, for me.

So benevolence of the system was the first point to go (on the surface) and then benevolence of me as a proficient system participant went next. Desteni already knew all of this, I did not have to crawl there and confess that I was just as non benevolent as the rest of the world, they did not care for crawling Human beings, they cared for those that would stand up from the crash of the acknowledgement of their abusive inner nature and would stand up for what is best for All, they were putting together people who had self realized a need for self correction and offered tools to walk a process of undoing the participation in and as the system of abuse to rewrite a program of Oneness and Equality that would work under the principle of What is Best for All.

There is no guidance in this process but a Self Honest approach to where one stands in need for correction and how to go about it, no one can self correct on our behalf, we put the shit in our Minds and charged it with emotions and feelings and breathed it into Life as the Breath of Existence, we are the only ones that can undo it, this creation is the representation of our inner worlds, of what we have accepted and allowed One and Equal to ourselves, each one of us is a living Hell as a self-imposed judgement within a debt system for the creation of separation and having taken it so far.

We are releasing Self Judgement as who we are, it’s in our self judgement as the Court that condemned us and others to such existence that this world has taken Life from our Breath into existence, we’ll have to breathe it back, self correct it and re-breathe it and rebirth it into Life, there is no way out of this but to walk backward what we have birthed into existence.

The All There Is is HERE, this is it, nothing exists but us, nothing will correct us but ourselves, it’s time to let go of our delusions, It’s Bad For Ya, as George Carlin said, but in fact it’s bad for all of us, this is the price of Oneness, we are tied to each other in this self-destructive stance, we have condemned each other to a Life of starvation while we starve ourselves, from Life, from being all that we could have been, from being One and Equal instead than separated in 7 billion little pieces, and now in Oneness we’ll have to wait for each piece to catch up, to bring back the Wholeness of Oneness, and this can only happen through Equality, Unequal pieces cannot fit the puzzle, and until we stand up for Equality the world stands as the big damn puzzler we have become.

Unravel yourself to become an Equal so you too may stand as the solution to what the world is and the correction that is needed to manifest a new world, drop spirituality, drop anything that prevents you from seeing that unless you make yourself an Equal, we’ll have to wait for you and this process will be delayed and we will have to suffer more just for that one piece that was not willing to realign and come back to Equality.

Equality  is the way Home, we have to move slowly to allow all the pieces to catch up, to allow Equal chances for the necessary Self realization that we are in fact in a process of correction, making a U-turn, steering the wheel from Inequality to Equality, from Separation to Oneness, You are not the Mind as Thoughts Emotions and Feelings, This is NOT who you are, unless you insist on believing it, or you could in one Breath realize that you are Life, Equal and One, please try,  Breathe, Realize Who You Are, so we may all go Home.

To know more about the Tool we see could jump start us into Equality visit

Equal Money

For free self support in unraveling yourself

Desteni

To support the Equal Life Foundation

Eqafe

2012: Earth Ltd, firing God as the CEO and CFO

Last night I lay in bed and wondered if the 10 commandments translate the same in English as they do in Italian, as I think this could be one of the many reasons why we don’t have the same fear responses when it comes to religious quotes, so I went and had a look this morning and found out to my surprise that they DON’T! So not only we have been living a lie as Catholics but we have not even been living the same Lie.

Within a Corporate set up this is a big breach of Protocol, information must be equally shared to all of the corporations members, that the “God corporation” is such there is no doubt, it’s not even a non-profit one having been selling God and God paraphernalia to the hopeful believers for thousands of years, it’s a profit-making organization with extremely poor management skills.

When we enter a new job, there is nowadays what is called The Company Mission Statement, it tells you what is the objective of the company, what they have at heart and how do they plan to go about reaching their targets, plus you have an employment contract, that tells you what is expected of you, what are your duties and what are your rights.

As a corporation that employs millions of people in the world and has millions of employees, the Vatican as the Earth representative of God on Earth Ltd, making sure that we get it that the planet belongs to them and showing off all their goodies on display on their heads or hands or inside the churches, they failed miserably when it comes to management of Earth and the Earth resources.

We could input this to the separation that finally took place at the time of Descartes when the Church and the State were separated in duties and powers, the State got to rule the secular powers and the Church got to rule the sacred/ eternal powers. Even if today we don’t perceive it as such, at the time it was considered a victory for the people, a chance to get the leech that the Church had proven to be, off their backs and find some illusory relief in a fairer rule of the people for the people, that never came to be.

The Church was left with the ruling over the eternal powers, this took some skills to manage, because first you have to CON-vince everyone that there is something beyond death that they rule over, for this they needed Money, lots of it. Why would I make such a statement ? Because only with seeing the Money that we know is the seal of God on Earth, The Light of God on Earth, the A plus to a work well done that shows you are among the chosen one, they could fool everyone. They had to show the goodies to inspire the respect of the people, they showed off like Kings and Queens their Godly heritage, it was there to see, look, God gave me all this stuff, want some ?
Follow me I teach you how we do it (but they can’t, they cannot teach you how you open a bank in a make belief state that launders money for the Mafia, or how to build the biggest property portfolio of the planet, you need Capital for that, you must have it to start with, they won’t provide it, they in fact teach you how to be happy without Money, something they have not yet achieved for themselves, they are forward teachers, teaching what is yet unknown to themselves, but they convince you that you will have an eternal Life – a good one otherwise the shit hole you experience is just never going to end-  to look forward to if you do as they say, and who could honestly forgo such a bargain ? We are bargain trained after all).

So in truth nobody has ever followed the church if not for the Fear of God, and that Fear translated in not being able to survive, God = Love = Money and Money equalled your ability to survive, to be respected, to be feared, to be free, to be alive. Nothing has changed from then.

Back to the Corporation, in this religious Corporation we are given a to do list, an employee code of conduct, it’s called The ten Commandments, but NO rights whatsoever, I was pissed today when I saw on the Holy See site that they translated the Ones for the Italians as they pleased, they even changed the Holy day to Sunday from the Sabbath which was the saturday and they wrote it on the original English list, but then we worship the Sunday. I found an interesting Italian website that states in a LOT of words that the Vatican is Satan, one sign is the worshipping on Sundays, another sign could be that they have changed the 10 Commandments just for us brain-damaged Italians as they must think we are people with ADD who could not compute sentence long commandments but had to be given an easy to remember one liner ones, pity in the transcription they made a few changes to suit the Corporation, instill Fear and sell the solutions, confessions and the sacraments.

So half of the world is a Satan worshipper in sheep clothes, no, they are not just wearing sheep clothes, they are just sheep for real.

But does it matter, if one worships God or Satan ? Isn’t it obvious by now that they have been sharing the powers of the planet and beyond until now, good and evil, right and wrong, what is forbidden and what is allowed. At least Satan seemed fairer, for the time on Earth fuck around, have fun, care about nobody and just enjoy your life, there is no other life, get the most out of this one. God instead has been a tight ass forbidder, don’t do this, don’t do that, not that he had a better result than Satan looking at the state of the world, he just pushed people to be dishonest about what they did anyway, and as the ultimate reward He gave them the confession, yes I know you’ll fuck around and do all the demonic stuff I forbade you to do, but if you come to me, I’ll wash you clean and then you can start from scratch, where you left off, I have absolutely no faith in you being able to change, You Are Only Human, I am God instead, a revengeful, wrathful tantrum thrower but I have not hidden this from you, I’ve told you in oh so many stories, so what you see Godly about me escapes me, stop calling me God, you embarrass me, Creator will do just fine.

Now, back to the state of Earth Inc, of which we are all the stakeholders but unfortunately not yet the shareholders, we have had a CEO and CFO, God, the Church says that they represent the AlMighty God on Earth, He is Almighty but not All Willing, he could have fixed this mess but he did not, he allowed unfair distribution of resources of the planet to the Chosen Ones, His information sharing skills suck, we have been kept in the dark about catastrophes, plagues, epidemics, pandemics, murders, violence, not one clue has been given and he left it to us to work it all out.

So a corruptible unfair Chief Financial Officer who has had a slant in the support of secular nepotism, as the Vatican shows, incompetent Chief Executive Officer, because he has not taken any responsibility for the shit he has done unpunished for centuries, except sending his son to take the shit on his behalf (…and what does that say about him as a loving parent ?) and his organizational skills, to say the least are pathetic, has been in charge of the Earth, where have we been meanwhile ?

The World is in a mess, if we accept that polarity is an illusion we can see that both God and Satan are not real, they are the embodiment of our Hopes and Fears, of our desire to not take responsibility for this creation, there is only us here for real, We Are All There Is, and the leeches that have been sucking the blood out of us, the Blood Money, with our permission in exchange for the deliverance from our fears (not real) and eternal life,  for a safety net, for the mark of the Beast that would guarantee to us the entrance in some place after death, to not have to believe that our lives were just that, a series of  unmanageable events and sad stories that we covered up with a nice invention, LOVE, a good feeling word to keep us separate from what we did not want to see, to not have to face the extent of our lack of responsibility, of our acceptances and allowances that turned the world into what it is today.

God is not real, Satan is not real, and if God is real he is fucking fired for the incompetent heartless psychopath he has turned out to be and do not fool yourself with “the Universe” story, get real, you have just changed the name tag on the Management Door, but you are still not in charge, I know because I have done exactly that, I have ditched God for the Universe only to discover I was a clever fucker for doing just that, it’s still was not ME responsible for having to change, for having to stand up and say ‘Til Here No Further”, because honestly, what else should happen in this world to make us say, Fuck this is totally unacceptable and I know I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t stand up now ?

Havent’ you had enough already ? Then stand up for Life !

For a solution that will benefit all Living beings Equally visit Equal Money

To get support for your delusions visit Desteni

To support the Equal Life Foundation visit Eqafe

2012: What has power over me ? My fear of the AfterLife

When I was a kid, the first Death I witnessed was the one of my great grandmother.

I was 5, it was the strangest thing because I had not heard about death prior to that moment and then one day, Death was in the house.

My great grandmother lived in what is the Italian equivalent of ‘the projects’ in America, at the time apartments were built with a common balcony that run around all apartments of the floor and then they shared one toilet in the corner of the common balcony.

When they installed the toilets inside the apartments, a few years before I was born, it was an event, the toilet just had the toilet bowl and the water of a hand-held shower run directly into a hole in the floor.

I remember washing myself inside a basin that was filled with water from the boiling pan in the kitchen/lounge, the apartment had 2 rooms, the kitchen lounge and the bedroom, inside that apartment, during the war, there had been up to 6 people sleeping, all in one bedroom with one double bed and a single bed.

In my money schizophrenic life, I had a grandmother that by the standard of the time, was rich, she lived inside an apartment with 2 bathrooms (where I am actually living at the moment), one huge living room (almost as big as my great grandmother apartment), one big terrace, 4 balconies, one master bedroom and one study room and a livable kitchen, big enough to fit a table.

I did not like to live in my great grandmother house during the week when my mum was working, I liked the comfort of my grandmother home and not the poverty that you could breath inside my great grandmother home.

When she died, as it was customary at the time since she died at home, she was left on the big bed for people to come and visit (?) and pay their respect and say one last goodbye.

I couldn’t get around this story of Death, to me it was obvious that she was now an empty box, whatever was that gave her Life had gone, but I could not understand where did it go.

My mum said she had gone to Heaven, nobody knew where heaven was, which for a kid is confusing, because we are just learning that when you go to a place you must know where it is, instead for what concerned heaven everyone was happy to just point at the sky and say ‘it’s up there’.

I wondered how could Heaven be held up by moving clouds and not be visible, not even in the night, they had to turn on some lights, right ? So why didn’t we see them, why couldn’t they wave or stay in touch, what a way to behave, going away like that, no notice, when you go somewhere you have a schedule, you say your goodbyes and make plans for when you will see each other again, you know when you are going to leave, instead Death had no schedule, one day you were Here and the next you were in Heaven.

My great grandmother was very religious, she went to mass in the morning, every morning, and dragged me along, I did not like the church at all, churches are cold and designed to inspire Fear, everything is huge, the columns, the arches, the paintings of bloody saints and martyrs, beheaded, hanged, it’s definitely not a happy place, churches in Italy are cold even in summer, and all the people sitting and saying the rosary were puzzling, each one started and went at their own pace, mumbling the Hail Mary in latin, if I were God I would have liked specific and unique words to highlight my wondrous creation, not a chorus of boring rosaries, but at the time there was the point of devotion, reciting the rosary was a show of devotion, usually dressed in black, with the head covered and kneeling down.

So, since I was already brainwashed into the Catholic tradition from kinder garden, I knew the requirements to go to Heaven, my great grandmother fit them all, no one was worried about her post-mortem destination.

Still, once they left me alone in the bedroom with the corpse, while they greeted the visiting guests for which there was food to share,  I tried to pull her up, the death thing as a definite was not clear to me, so I whispered to her to stop it, that people in the other room were sad and believing she was no longer here, please pull yourself up. I did not have the strength to pull her up completely, I managed a half sitting position with humongous effort, she was cold and heavy even though she was skinny and frail by the time she died,  and then that point of trying to lift up a very heavy empty box, I could not get over the impression of being around an empty body.

When they came in from the other room, they screamed and shouted, I dropped her down, then explanations followed from my mother about Death, trying to make me understand that when someone dies, they are no longer here.

They sent the casket, put her inside and we went down to follow the funeral, we walked behind the funeral car very slowly, many people had come to see the funeral as she was loved and respected and considered a ‘good devout woman’, my mother was crying, she had been raised by my great grandmother, I understood crying at funeral was appropriate and even demanded, but I could not cry and felt guilty about it, I wanted to feel as sad as my mum, for support,  I even tried to think about sad things with no success, death had not yet hit me personally  as something  sad.

I have seen other 2 corpses in my life, one a friend of my uncle and then my uncle, I have missed all the other deaths of the family due to living abroad, the other 2 corpses I have seen left me with the same feeling, empty boxes.

It was easy for me to believe in Life after death, in a place where all the boxes contents had gone, because I saw it with my own eyes, only the body was buried, the ‘inside’ was no longer there, must have gone somewhere, Heaven was plausible.

I had more troubles with Hell, at one point in my Life I accepted Hell was ‘living in separation from God’, I gave up the flames of hell for the belief in a metaphorical hell of our own creation, I still held on to the belief that God was benevolent, only in my teenage years I was angry and questioned God, but found no sounding boards in Italy and the feedback was always the same, we can’t understand the BIG plan, in the great scheme of things we are insignificant, God has a reason for everything, one day we will understand it all. I gave in, they all believed it and they loved me, it must be so then.

But honestly I embraced this belief because I feared it might not be so, and I had no other explanation that made any sense, around the age of 13 or 14 I discovered there were other religions, WHAT ?? How can there be other religions ? But they reassured me, they have not yet heard of Jesus, only our religion is RIGHT, and they will go to Hell for what they believe. That was another point I had against Hell, why people who had not been blessed like us Roman Catholics to hear about Jesus would have to go to Hell ? How can you be punished for NOT knowing ? Rome was far away from the Middle East, to take just one example, they could not hear the Sunday bells (and all the other days bells), how would they know ?

Many beliefs about the afterlife were weird, I settled for the New Age ones, We are God, I am a Light Worker, Namaste, I salute the divinity in You.

Then I moved to Asia. They believed  really weird stuff !! They believed in the Hungry Ghosts coming to take bodies on a special Month of the lunar calendar, they suggested to not let the kids into the water during that time, body snatching happened more easily inside the water; they believed the afterlife was just like here and that there were days when the doors of this world and the Other World were opened up and gifts could be sent through fire, so a whole industry of paper replicas had developed for the offerings to the Other World,

this included paper money, credit cards, plane tickets, clothes, shoes, houses, mansions, paper maids (and thanks God for that or they would have burnt the Filipino people for real to send them to their ancestors),

of course even in death offerings there was a gap between rich and poor, the poor ones could barely send a paper house, maybe a simple 2 rooms one, the rich ones could send a mansion designed by an architect, the offerings could cost anything from 2 USD dollars to 1000 USD,  they even believed that if you were disabled here you would be disabled There, so they made paper wheelchairs to burn on the offering days. They had many Gods and they bribed them regularly with paper money offerings, The Chinese especially were never hypocritical about Money, they had the God of Wealth at the entrance of every temple because if you were in a rush that was the God you wanted to find the closest, they would kow tow, touching their forehead to the floor, in front of the God, make an offering to the Temple, have the temple keeper bang the drums to let the God know you were there and had paid the entrance fee and then they would detail their request. They believed as well that Heaven was as deceitful as here and as Hell, so everything they sent over they sent it with the specific address tag “Miss Chan…. The Other World”.

This left a big impression on me, this lack of trust was a point that bothered me, if you don’t even trust the Gods because they are spiteful and evil, who can you trust ? What kind of fear did they live with ?

More or less same as mine 🙂

Once I was convinced about the fact that there was in fact nothing clear about the Afterlife, I started to wonder where was the truth, who knew it and why it was not disclosed. What happened to us in the afterlife ?

When I met Desteni and discovered they were channeling dead people, I was not one bit surprised, there they were, the surprise was about what they had to say, in fact it was a shock, such was the shock that as I said in some of my other posts I could not take in on board at the first encounter with Desteni, I fucked around for another 2 years, between Matrix Energetics, Russian teachings of Grabovoi, shamans, healers and then the day that I was clear about having exhausted my options in self fucking (we chatted with my buddy last night and I said, if there was a job for that “experienced self fucker” it would have to be mine !), with the tail between my leg I went back to Desteni and accepted the truth, Self as origin taking responsibility.

I still fear the afterlife, not like before though, now I fear that I will indeed still be there/Here and will have to face what I have not cleared within this lifetime and not the opposite, as Bernard said once, death as in deletion would be a point of Mercy, what I did not get yet is, will we have access to this Mercy, because we have created a merciless world to which we stand One and Equal, will we be Equal to Mercy by the time we cross over ?

Will we have got the point that this is our creation and everything is happening as a consequence of our separation from everything that exists or we will keep the self fucking going to the point of mercilessness ?

One of my good Italian friend that I have introduced to the EMS said to me about Equal Money, “we will have to see if we accept that we deserve such a system” ! And I saw this point clearly, we are abusing ourselves and the world as an outflow of our belief in deserved punishment of ourselves and others, as the score keeping of our demented minds that having forgotten the separation don’t forgive themselves and others as themselves, having for-gotten that there are no others !

This world is our Self Expression, One Self Expression, the sum of our debts, suppressions, fears, beliefs, ideas, yes, crashing, humbling, makes us weep, but we can stand up and let go the ledger as the illusion that is keeping this reality alive, it will take the dropping of our masks, and the dropping of our debts, I have started to drop my debts through Self Forgiveness, so there is one less bookkeeper in the world and we may embrace the solution as the point of Mercy for ourselves and the World, One and Equal.

Let’s correct ourselves now to leave behind a world of No Fear that can be enjoyed by everyone Equally as an expression of who we are as Life and not who we are as a surviving, competing, evil species that is leaving behind a wake of Death and Destruction. This is NOT who we are, time to wake up and review our Lives while alive to realign to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All without having to wait for the Mercy of Death. Imagine the surprise to discover that the real Mercy was in the Physical, within the substance that was always Here standing One and Equal to everything that exists, while we fucked with ourselves in endless time loops in and as our Minds.

Desteni

Equal Money

support the Equal Life Foundation and get yourself a real Education from the ones that have already crossed over, to know what’s happening in the HereAfter at

Eqafe

Politics: our only chance to Real Change

I have been looking at this point regarding my repulsion for Politics and why myself and all the people I have been talking to would rather not get involved in politics or even talk about it, I have done a bit of investigation to be able to see  what are my/our perceptions and ideas about it that end up keeping us away from the only tool that could in fact change the world to what we say we want and wish it to become.

I have to start with my own personal experience of politics, because I know nothing else, I was born and raised in Italy where we have 4 languages, informal, formal, political language and legal language.

For the last 2 we need interpreters and specialized people to translate what it is meant by a policy or a Law, because the language of politics and of the Law is in fact not designed to be understood by everyone, when I grew up I ended up believing this to be ‘normal’, it was customary to watch politicians on TV talk about stuff we could not understand, never being able to hear a ‘YES” or ‘NO’  answer because everything was always like the oddest relationship choice on Facebook ‘it’s complicated’.

The Truth of the matter is that it is actually NOT complicated, it’s made complicated so we may all come to believe that politics is something out of our reach, that it belongs to the ‘politically gifted’, the diplomats, who are able to make us believe something that we know it’s not true, so basically we have been rewarding the gift of the magical speech, the one that keeps all enthralled and spellbound to promises of changes that never come true.

Here I am going to list the most used words in politics, who by the way have no foundation in the reality applied by the elected once they get elected, these words are the equivalent of Abracadabra and Avada Kadavra, the latest Harry Potter’s version of the same, meaning “Murders Opponent” which in fact it does, as the only hearing these words leaves us dead on the floor unable to see through the lies and the emptiness of what is proposed, here they come : FREEDOM, CHANGE, CHOICE, JUSTICE, FAIR, FAIRNESS, HONESTY, RIGHTS, LOVE (this is a heavy-duty one, used only sparingly for maximum effect), check within yourself and you will see, you have automatically responded positively to every single one of this prompting. These words exist within ourselves as passwords, they unlock our good feelings of ‘Hope” and desires for “solutions” that we dream about ‘hoping’ someone else will get to work and realize them on our behalf.

So, I have discovered I was prompted by my cultural upbringing and later on by my own ideas of what politics is and ultimately my judgements of it as bad and ineffective kept me away from politics, it was incomprehensible, unattainable, despised (by myself and the ones who have come to believe they will never be able to access it in any way whatsoever) and ultimately useless.

So, due to my own (induced by the system and accepted and allowed by myself) judgements of politics I have cut myself out from the political arena, I have given up my right to say that this world as it is, it’s absolutely unacceptable, instead, I, together with many others, have taken the opposition role, we take to the streets, we demonstrate, we shout and scream, set ourselves on fire, shoot ourselves and others for a political agenda that cannot be heard because politics happens in the place where we have decided we don’t want to go, inside the political arena, where policy agendas are written and voted, where the weight of the majority rules and can overthrow the existing status quo.

So, we need to review our perception of politics, here are a few examples of things WE DO NOT KNOW ABOUT politics:

If we got together and proposed a new Public Policy with enough people to make it the majority of people, which means half of the people present + 1 this is what would happen:

Public policy is authoritative. It means that the government has the authority to formulate and implement the policy. Authority implies legitimacy, and capacity or power. The government, therefore, has the general permission of the electorate as well as the means of implementing the policies. Thus, it also has the authority to enforce adherence to the policies. For example, if legislation has been passed by Parliament, it can be enforced by the executive and civil service, such as the police. (Botha and Kotze 2003:6)

Public policy (domestic policies) is mostly concerned with the allocation of resources. It determines how resources are distributed in society. Therefore, it means that decisions are made to determine priorities. Under democratic conditions, it also implies that procedures are used to determine how the allocations will be made and that those procedures are transparent and open to groups outside the public sector to be used. In non-democratic situations it is confined to the public sector. (Botha and Kotze 2003:6)

Public policy is always limited by the scarcity of resources. It means that there are always more needs in society than the resources available to address them. Because of the scarcity, public policy is about determining priorities and about how best to achieve the policy goals of the party/government with the limited resources. It implies that policies should be evaluated or assessed to determine how successful they were in terms of achieving the policy goals. Policy analysis is therefore an integral part of public policy planning and evaluation. (Botha and Kotze 2003:7)

Thomas R Dye: Public policy is whatever governments choose to do or not to do. (Botha and Kotze 2003:7)

James E Anderson (1984:3) gives the following definition of policy and public policy: Policy is a “purposive course of action followed by an actor or set of actors in dealing with a problem or matter of concern” and “public policies are those policies developed by governmental bodies and officials’ Anderson (1984:3�5) highlights the following aspect of his description of public policy:

 Public policy should be based on law and should be authoritative. Government has the monopoly to legitimately use coercion for the enforcement of its policies. No private organisation has the authority to articulate its policies in the form of legislation or other sources of law. (Botha and Kotze 2003:8)

A state’s ability to take decisions and make policies for itself without external sanctioning or interference is the ultimate indication of a state’s sovereignty. That ability is no longer so absolute and a state’s control over its policies is therefore also curtailed. Tendencies that affect such a limitation are globalisation (especially market liberalisation spearheaded by the World Trade Organisation); increasing influence by social movements, NGOs and businesses in the public sphere; and regionalisation. (Botha and Kotze 2003:10)

So, in plain language, we could draft a public policy about a New Monetary system, an Equal Money System, , bring it forward and have it voted by the majority of the presents + 1, then we would have the right to enforce it on the rest of the ones that are yet still too brainwashed, too confused or in too much fear to see that we have no other solution that will bring about an effective lasting change than to realign to What is Best for All to stop All abuses. No one will be left behind from benefiting from such enforcing, yes it will take some adjusting, some that have been extensively and unrelentingly benefiting from the inequality of the system might kick and scream a little but that is not important or relevant to the fact that a change is needed for What is Best for All and every single one on the planet will be helped to reeducate themselves to come to see this point through dropping our humongous Egos that exists in and as self-interest and correct ourselves into What is Best for All.

So, we suggest to stop the divisions which are planned by the current system to make sure we may never realize where is the Real Power and how to access it, stop Occupying, stop demonstrating, realize that since we are all part of the problem, and hence the problem itself, we can and must be part of the solution.

Politics is not evil, we are, we are the ones that closed our eyes to what was going on, so we can start our correction by standing up and seeing that this change requires DOING and not opposing the doing of others which is what we do when we demonstrate and sit in and as an imaginary opposition stance without an agenda for real Change.

Bernard Poolman said :  The brainwashing of potential voters into a form of conspiracy madness play into the hand of the elite. It is in the elites interest to fund such groups to capture and direct the young minds and make sure they never get to politics and as they get older, they will give up and work at Walmart for survival

Get it ?

This is how we have given up our lives to the system, so we now stop conspiracy theories to prove it’s others doing something wrong and not us NOT doing what is right and what is best for all, instead we start to educate ourselves about Politics, what will entail to draft a Public Policy and bring it forward, what will it mean for each one of us to become prospect members of the new system we are drafting, how we are planning to give up our own greed, competition and self interest for What is Best for All and then under this one principle we Unite and make it Happen.

Equal Money is ready, the solution is Here, it just needs us to spread it and be the solution itself to start changing the system from inside, as each piece as One and Equal, goes through its own personal realignment to Oneness and Equality until the change has and will be manifested outside into the All Giving Equal Money System, because when we stop the for-getting we can start the for-giving to All, One and Equal to Life itself and everything that is Here.

The tools are available for All for free if you cannot yet spare the Money to support yourself and the system change

for personal correction visit Desteni

o educate yourself about a new Monetary System visit Equal Money

to support the Equal Life Foundation visit Eqafe

2012: Nothing that happens inside of me can be blamed on others

It has taken me some time to make this realization mine, meaning at some level I got it from the beginning when I joined the Desteni Process, but it was just knowledge and information.

I was comfortable with knowledge and information given I have accumulated truckloads within my lifetime and so when I met Desteni at the beginning I treated everything they said just as how I treated everything I have done before, the difference was that within this process there was work to do, still I filed it as knowledge and information, isn’t that what we do with information, file it for future use.

All the philosophies I had met until then showed me there was nothing I had to do,  I liked that a lot, they said I was already Divine, The Source, I just had to ‘bask in bliss’, follow ‘my bliss’, ‘think positive and stay positive’ and that was it.

The problem came when I started to have troubles generating the ‘blissful feeling’ I was supposed to follow, because let’s face it, everything that happens inside of me is generated by me, it must be, since there is only me doing the thinking inside of me that generates the feelings I experience. Even Law of Attraction tells you that your feelings are generated by your thoughts, so why is it we can take the credit for being positive thinkers and then blame others when we are feeling shitty ?

When I met Desteni they suggested and stated clearly that ‘I had to stop the thinking‘ to realize what I was generating and then living out as a consequence of my thinking, plus they said, you have to take response-ability for what happens inside of you.

This sucked big time, first because the aspect that ‘there was work to do’ was obvious, no matter how hard I tried the ‘filing for future use’  it bugged me, because it was not file-able knowledge since the message was constant and consistent about ‘the work that had to be done’ and as well because I had designed myself in a way that worked for me within the World Accepted Blaming Game, I could always blame another, it started with my family, they taught me that I was responsible for how they felt around me, I believed it, and so then I made them responsible for how I felt around them, logical isn’t it ?

But it was not true for them and it was not true for me, I was not responsible for how they felt around me and they were not responsible for how I felt around them, how could they be response-able if it’s up to me to respond, if the response is coming from me how can they take response-ability for it ?

Now that I write it out it seems maddening but it’s true, all of us believe this, and since I designed myself around these experiences of blame, my life became a blaming game.

We then grow up, that’s the ‘fun’ part about ‘life’, because we just grow up literally, we become another size but we don’t change the imprinting at the base of how we behave, we just become better at placing blame, more subtle, more convoluted, more sly in the way we place the blame on others using the right mix of words that will allow us to believe that we are NOT in fact doing “that thing” we so hated when our parents did it to us.

So we become an upgraded version of our parents, we beat them at their own game, we outsmart them in the blame game, we grow to build our outsmarting vocabulary as a life purpose because we understood this is what everybody is doing so we better get good at it.

Recently I have seen this very clearly within myself, when I tell my life story I have to be very careful to not move automatically within me as the Mind into this particular personality because it’s a clever personality, sometimes I can con-vince myself that it’s true what me/she says, I can see the pity path she is laying out with flare for me to walk and I have to do like when you go for cross-country skiing, for those that never tried, cross-country skiing is done by putting your sky inside a predefined track, which is about 10 cm deep, then you just push yourselves within the tracks with your sticks.

If you see you wish to change track you need to stop, lift your foot one at the time out of the track and move into the fresh snow (which requires some strength) to go and join another track.

In this process I feel this way, the stopping of the automated behaviour is exactly like changing track on the cross-skiing field, the difference is that you have to keep moving on the fresh snow, the one that is trackless because this is what self-expression is all about, it’s about threading a new path for yourself where there was no path and you cannot use the same tracks again because life never repropones exactly the same scenario, so you will have to move out of the tracks into fresh snow every single time and just learn the fresh snow skiing as a way to move, through an act of self-will that leads to self-expression.

At the moment I am still moving out of tracks, I guess if I were really cross skiing they would send someone to talk to me to explain how cross skiing is done, because I would look quite demented trying to move out of the easy tracks continuously and skiing on the fresh snow which is how I feel often during process for the time being, due to my own judgement that ‘I don’t know what I am doing’ which is exactly the point, I am de-menting myself, in the literal sense of the word, taking my mind out of the equation of how I approach everything in life and this feels a bit disconcerting and totally new.

I have 2 examples I am living in the moment, 1, the redefinition of my relationship with my mother or who I am within it, all considering, meaning the time that I had invested until now in who I was within that relationship, I can see I have moved stuff quiet fast, still I have a feeling of lostness, because she doesn’t want to communicate with the new me, funny because this is the first time in my life when I no longer see her responsible for all my shit, so it would be the best time to try out our new relationship but she has closed the door. I know it’s temporary and I catch myself wanting to feel disconcerted as a sort of a duty, as a good daughter facing this kind of conundrum should feel, but it’s not real, I do it because I fear feeling guilty for my ‘lack of feelings ‘ toward her, like I should feel sorry but I don’t BUT I should. So for now I am doing nothing, not out of spite, just because I don’t know what to do, I have opened the door and said’ then get in touch when you want to see me’ and left it at that. When I see thoughts coming up about how displeased she is at me and how I know it, I stop myself and tell myself I have not pushed her away and I am here as I said to her in case she needs anything but I don’t want to participate in who I was, I have just closed that door, the door of recrimination and explanation that will lead to me possibly engaging in useless lengthy explanations on ‘how come I am not struggling while I KNOW how BAD she feels’ since I don’t have an explanation she can hear at the moment except that since I no longer blame her I  have given up not only mine but her asserted right to blame me for how she feels and so when she blames me I don’t feel anything anymore, I feel more surprised than angry at both of us and how could we ever believe that bullshit about another ‘making us feel anything’ without our acceptance and participation and this is not what she is fishing for. So I understand this is a time of adjustment where patterns will have to drop on both sides because patterns are kept alive by 2 sides crocheting the same design with 2 crochets and if one drops the crochet the thread falls apart.

Point 2, my new job, I am designing a new project for a company that I can see it could be very successful because it covers many niches I have identified within the Italian market that could do with some organizing help for the internationalization of their products. In this I face a few points of beliefs of faults within the system that I am now using to bring back to myself, the main points were, can’t trust the system, fear of the system, won’t be able to access the European funds because everyone is dishonest and corruption is rampant so they designed the system just to play among themselves, and the new relationship with my potential business partner.

So the first points were quite clear I don’t trust myself, I fear myself, I fear the system as myself because in the past I have made up rules and ways to always have the upper hand, so I applied self forgiveness while I was approaching these specific offices on these points and I found, surprisingly, that I had a lot of unexpected help once I cleared myself as the system and got a lot of important information and have already booked myself into step 1 that will take place next Tuesday for the procedure of accessing funds for new entrepreneurial activities since I had already done my homework and seen I fit into ALL of the requirements for new enterprises funding, like being a woman over 45, unemployed, with a good entrepreneurship idea in the service field.

My new girlfriend and potential business partner is another story, first she has the same name of my ex best girlfriend, which in itself felt like a point I have to face still, like something was left to clear about that, even though I have done a lot of clearing and her name doesn’t bring up reactions so much anymore, but the interesting thing is how we both entered into our automatic roles, I the leader and she the assistant. I know why this is happening because as I stated before, women in Italy are groomed only for ‘assistant’ roles, so while I developed leadership roles abroad, outside of the Italian pattern, she has not yet had that chance. Interesting because I did not push her into this role as I want an equal partnership and I have no doubt she would be willing to put in the same amount of time, but we did not have to talk about what were our roles as she has already assumed somewhere in her mind that I am the boss. I still did not feel more than her, I felt that we were both doing equally what each one of us does best, and this was interesting because I have seen how much judgements of roles I have removed and how less bothered by simple tasks I am. One thing though almost bothers me, I know she is not in process and so I will have to be the one bringing out everything in the open about every aspect of the business and what we expect from each other and what kind of company would be best. At the moment all the planning I have done has been equally in the interest of both and in the interest of the company and how can we make it work, I saw that I have not in my mind played any game of how I can have more or how to take advantage of the situation for myself and it has been an interesting exercise for me to consider for the first time how to create a structure where everybody wins, suppliers, clients and both of us and what is best for All too, because this is what I am good at and there is no reason to discard everything in process but just to reset all the starting points so that what is best for All is considered.

In this I considered, that what is best for me is to get back into the system since I know how to do that, to design a company with consideration of all parts involved where no one is abused, of course this has to bear in mind that we are all still living and working within an abusive system, because in reality, until we change the Capitalistic model into a model that supports All Equally we live the abuse, but if I am not able to support myself I live the abuse as me cutting myself out from the very system that if I instead approach as the system I can live as me and change as me as I go along.

Meanwhile it’s clear to me that we at Desteni need Money, we need Money to make the message heard, to go public in a way that can reach the ones that have not heard this opportunity for change as well and I cannot contribute effectively unless I do what I know how to do, which is designing businesses that work within this current business model, so the point that many of us will have to face is how do we reconcile our self-righteousness about NOT wanting to participate in the system with changing the system ? Because I have faced this point for a few months, while I moved around shuffling my feet and thinking ‘I don’t want to participate anymore in this sick game‘ instead of saying I am the sick game that needs changing and there is nothing outside of me but my accepted and allowed reality.

So, as part of my process of pulling my socks up and get moving once I had made up my mind things started to roll, for the first time in months one person, in the specific this woman approached me at the GYM and she was an expert in Fears (interesting misspelling I meant Fairs, even though I can see at the moment she is an expert in Fears too :)) and Exhibition which will be one of the key points of my new business, plus she has been kicked out of a very high level position within the public administration and knows all the people who move the system in Milan, while I have knowledge of international business and how to make it all work.

So, when we pull our socks up and make decisions about participating in the game it’s not that life changes, I change and the system as me changes to move the cards that I need to play, it was my decision not to play, this is an important point that many of us will face regarding having an occupation, I have really liked one of Avery’s post about selling being an honourable business, because this is the key, nothing is as it is without us being who we are, so when I become honourable I can only build an honourable business as a reflection of me as Life, as wanting to take everyone into consideration because the world will not change by us taking on the Desteni information and pointing fingers at everything and everyone out there, that’s just the blaming game all over again with a clever twist, we made it ‘Desteni’ certified, so now we have added one layer of fuckedupness to the whole story, we have turned into Desteni warriors, but still war it is.

Instead it is about taking the information provided, stopping the pointing fingers to the system because this is still separation, instead accepting the system as one as me, stopping the fear and educating ourselves on how to move effectively, no longer as antagonist in war, but as partners in change, where what I do reflects who I am molding myself to be and one piece at the time we realign the system to the truth that what is Best for All is ultimately what is Best for Everybody everywhere.

For Free Self Support Desteni

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To investigate and support the new Monetary System Equal Money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame what is outside of me as the cause of what goes on inside of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system as something to take on , instead of seeing I fear myself as something to take on because I have not accepted myself as the system I am so that I can change myself as the system I want to be and see outside of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel justified to attack the system and blame the system in separation of myself instead of seeing the system as a partner that one and equal to me lost its way and is now realigning to what I am realigning myself as which is Oneness and Equality and what is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak words against the system’s corruption and unfairness instead of realizing I am speaking words against my own corruption and unfairness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that there is no place for me in the system instead of realizing that if I am the system I must bring myself Here and the system as me Here for realignment with Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condemn myself for my own corruption and unfairness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to fear my new state of ‘not feeling’ because I had allowed and accepted myself to associate existing with ‘having feelings’ and I fear not existing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself in future business scenarios because this is what I was told you have to do when planning a business instead of seeing I don’t need to go anywhere in my mind since my mind has no solutions but I need to get physical, gather practical information and evaluate them in the moment in my Hereness where I don’t need any future projection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that the system is designed to fuck people because I have fucked people in my life as a result of having been fucked

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I might fall back into old business patterns of power and desire to abuse instead of seeing I cannot fall unless I decide to fall

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust the system because I do not trust myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the abuses of the system instead of seeing I fear the abuses of me as the system and that I can stop existing one and equal to abuse done and received

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that since I do not have a ‘government approved’ system education I must fear to be exposed as a liar for claiming one instead of seeing I am claiming an education that I have built for myself through my own experience that doesn’t need a government approval

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the system is too big for us to take on instead of seeing that if nothing exists outside of me, the system too must exist as me and I am not too big for myself to take on

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to borrow money to start a business because I accepted and allowed myself to fear debt as something that was taught to me by the system to make sure I would repay what I have accepted and allowed was due by me in my accepted life of credits and debts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having debts as something that diminishes me instead of seeing that big corporations are full of debts and comfortable with it, so it’s just myself diminishing myself through my accepted and allowed beliefs that people with debts are worth less than people with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think ‘what will my mother think if she knows I have borrowed money for a business start-up ?” instead of seeing I don’t care about my mother but I am just using her to show myself there is a point inside of me showing me that I care that people know I have debts that diminish me in comparison to those that have no debts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgement of myself as a debtor because I accepted and allowed myself to see debt as something ‘bad’, instead of seeing that borrowing money to start a business is a normal business practice and that I am wide awake and will be able to evaluate the risk involved and the potential consequence and make sound decisions about what to do

2012: Jobless ? No worries, the Vatican is looking for Exorcists

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Today a very popular Italian weekly magazine titled the cover page ” Looking for Exorcists’ with a Priest making it to the cover page.

It’s been a long time since a Priest has been on the cover page of a magazine in Italy even when the talks were about pedophiles priests, the pictures was not allowed to be shown, for a form of ‘respect’ (for the priest).

So I found it interesting that it should be the Devil himself bringing back the priests into the Spotlight.

What’s going on ?

The cover article said that “Possessions” are on the increase, they count 500.000 people yearly asking for help to the Church with a 30% increase in the last 5 years between believers and NON believers, 20% of this numbers is made up by children, then 65% of women across all levels of wealth and education, having a degree is no longer a guarantee that you won’t be able to believe in the Devil, the Devil is everywhere, knows no social division, the Devil is Fair.

The men seem to handle the Devil better, they know they are the Devil themselves, they know what they think, how they debase women in their mind, how many times a day they think about fucking and abusing women they don’t even know or that are in a relationship with their friends and family members, it’s a ‘men thing’, amazingly it’s either a data that says men are more honest with themselves or they just bare the burden of their own thoughts words and actions better than women, children don’t count, they are dragged to exorcism due to non compliance, whenever their behaviour doesn’t fit ‘what they should be’ mum can blame it on the Devil and get the kids exorcised, the Catholic answer to Ritalin.

There are 300 active exorcists in Italy, many are old, they handle a maximum of 5000 cases a year but the waiting list gets longer every year, because one exorcism is never enough, some people may need exorcisms that last for years, it takes years sometimes to get the Devil to leave his prey alone :), this is why the University in Rome headed by Christ’s legionaires organizes every year a Master on Exorcism and Prayers to Freedom to form the new generations of Devil Busters priests. Doesn’t this make us question the power of God at the same time, that the Devil is obviously so superior he can decide to stay on for YEARS while some silly chanting and lating invocation is repeated ad nauseam to no effect ? If God was the Master of the Universe, one single All Powerful command from God & Associates and the Devil should retreat immediately overtaken by the Fear of God and leave with his tail between his legs. Doesn’t seem exorcisms are so effective after all, if you were going to a Dentist to pull out a tooth and he had you go back for years, how much trust would you have in him ? Does he really know what he is doing or is he just guessing ? Does he know his trade or is he just pretending ? Are we all just pretending ? Do we in fact Fear the Devil LESS than we fear ourselves and having to face what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become ?

And if the devil did exist, when he leaves a body, where does He go ? Is he defeated ? Seems hardly if exorcisms are on the increase, how many Devils are there ? Do they multiply ? Do they have children, baby devils that possess children ? Where do they live ?

Ever thought where is the Devil’s home if there should be one on Earth? Many did ask themselves this question and came to the obvious conclusion, WHERE WOULD YOU LIVE IF YOU WERE THE DEVIL ? If you were an Imaginary Polarity Figure representing the highest Evil in the World, wouldn’t you live where the Highest Imaginary Figure representing the Good of the World lived ?

Yes that’s right, inside the Vatican 🙂

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Father Malachi Martin knew for sure, he left the Jesuits at one point because the whole Good vs Evil battle was just too much, he could no longer bare it.

The Pope stayed on instead

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What would be Christmas without Satan..oops Santa ?

So the belief is that there is an Entity that dominates and controls us, The Evil Entity known as The Devil, Satan, Lucifer, that ‘makes us do evil stuff, that tempts us, that puts words in our mouths, plots in our heads, that wants us to struggle and suffer while he has a ball at our expenses.

The Devil is historically represented as the Serpent, the Serpent with the forked tongues, meaning what? Meaning a duality, which is what we all live. Movie series like Ally Mc Beal have been made to underline, expose and make ‘normal’ the secret voice that speaks non stop in our Minds, the secret voice that says nasty things while we show the good face, the secret voice that is keeping us busy up there in the head, and never Here, where Life really happens while we miss out on it by being away in the Hell we ourselves created in our Minds, wouldn’t be normal for people that spend so much time in Hell to believe in the Devil ?

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The only problem with this accepted and encouraged (by the Catholics) belief is that it makes us powerless, Yes, there is the advantage of the relief of having someone to blame, – fucking Devil, please God deliver me from him -, but what if the Devil was inside, what if this battle was already lost when we started engaging it, what if the Devil was the sum of all our judgements, ideas, beliefs and thoughts about good and evil that we have lived (opposite of Devil, how strange..) and breathed into existence, what if the Devil and God were Our Creation and not viceversa ?

Vittorio Feltri commented the exorcism article with this sentence:

“Literature has often documented the tough fight that each one of us puts up to not fall into the temptation to give in to Evil. Yes beltzebu’ is always scheming in the most secret places of our mind ready  to suggest the best way to trip someone, how to take a shortcut, how to trample someone’s rights on our quest for greed, how to be indifferent to the reasons of our hearts, cinical, cruel. It’s not true that the Devil possesses us, it’s us possessing the Devil and often we ask Him advises following them with pleasure, I have a suspect, what if WE were the Devil ? “

Yes, what if we were the Devil ? What if this world was the plain manifestation of our Polarity Play, what if this was the creation of our Sick Abusive Minds ?

Many have different theories about how this Creation came about, what if we had been lied to, conned into made up stories designed to never allow us to realize ourselves, what if someone knew how it all came about and has been out for some time to explain it but nobody listened because everyone was too lost inside their personality play and the Beliefs and Ideas of ‘Who they really Are (or wish to be)’ ?

You want to know who you really are ? Really ? Here is the whole story

How this Creation came about and Why

So if you think you are God without acting like one, or the Devil, or that you are possessed, support yourself to release yourself from your own Polarity design, you are the One with the Keys to your Mind, exorcise yourself back to Freedom into Equality and Oneness. Give yourself a Chance to Live again, Give Life back to Yourself.

Breathe yourself back to Earth.

For more information, support, Q&A regarding the process of giving back Yourself to Yourself as One and Equal with Existence visit

Desteni.org

Eqafe.org