2012: Back to Black

I met my neighbour today while going out for a walk. I was wearing a bright windjacket, green and purple, she told me I was smart, the Italian way, meaning I looked funny, not in fashion, slightly out-of-place.

I know I am out-of-place in a fashion country wearing clothes that the establishment has not declared ‘in’ for the season, green and purple belong to the mountains, out of a grim and somber city like Milan, but I don’t care, I will not buy a new windjacket when I have one that works perfectly fine as a windjacket  just because I’m colour disapproved, I can live with that.

My neighbour said something else which brought up a flood of remote memories of my childhood, when I said ‘I know I should be wearing black’, like everyone else, the smart office ‘in’ people, she said that she only likes black on the plumper ones, the skinny ones look too thin, because black is the magical thinning colour, it makes you disappear in inches and gives that ‘Mortisia Addams’ look that expresses just what everyone is going through, the living dead, we brough the black outside for everyone to see.

She mentioned as well that she doesn’t like black, it’s the colour of mourning, and she recalled that when she was a kid around 10 years of age, her mother went to visit her to the summer camp all dressed in black, as a sign of respect for her brother who had just passed away. She asked, do you remember the ‘tight mourning dressing code’?

Funny, until she asked, I didn’t, then this flow of memories came rushing through my mind, of course I do. When I was a kid we had a  dressing code for mourning, it was stricter in the South of Italy and it became diluted coming up the peninsula partly due to our French and Austrian domination, we were less bound to religious and cultural rules, the South had an arabic domination, in Sicily many public signs still have the double language, and even the food can tell about their arabic inheritance. Dominations, welcome or not, are hard to let go.

The mourning dressing code demanded that for close members of the family, mother and father, brothers and sisters, children, husband and wives, strict mourning should be applied, that implied all black for women, including underwear and pantyhose, no jewellery except the wedding ring, no make up, no public appearances except for Sunday mass, forbidden to remarry or give up the strict mourning code for 10 years. For the males, 1 year of strict mourning, black tie, black button, black band on the arm, forbidden or frowned upon to remarry before the end of the strict mourning time. All the other relatives commanded a light mourning, one year for women, at discretion for men. Even with death women were asked to suffer more, longer, with more commitment to pain and suffering.

After a certain age inside big families especially, people kept dying, a brother, a parent, a child, so the mourning clothes never came off, mourning years had to be added, like a prison sentence and this is why in old pictures of Italian women that one can see in American movies they all wore black.

I cannot recall when this changed exactly, I know that even in the South, due to migration and mixing with other cultures mourning is no longer strict, one interesting thing that I noticed though is that black has moved forcefully into the lives of everyone else, the apparently non mourning ones, fashion is a huge supporter of bringing black into the everyday scene.

This is interesting because when I was a kid, black was a non colour, nobody wore it, we never had any black clothes except for the ones we had to have to go to funerals, any other colour at funerals would simply be bad taste and unacceptable, the sign of someone wanting to steal the thunder from the dead, not noticing that a dead had the thunder stolen by death and would not mind a little colour competition. Yes, because the only one allowed to have coloured clothes, was the corpse.

Our existences are developing from the end to the start of the Pleasantville movie, we started coloured and we went sepia first, by sucking out the life of our physical bodies and we turn grey at death, in between now, everyone wears Black, especially in the big cities, Black is Back, we have made official our state of mourners of the Lives that passed us by and we never lived.

We have lost ourselves inside the Mind, filled ourselves with memories, ideas, opinions, traumas, suffering, blame, guilt, shame and we no longer recognise ourselves, we have given up on ourselves, decided we were not even worth the challenge and resigned to our ability to change to go back to Life, instead we went Back to Black.

There is a way out, we have to give up everything and anything that we have defined ourselves as and we lived into existence, anything that we gave Breath to and that was not Life, the personalities that we designed to cope and that we use to play at life, that makes us likeable, acceptable, praised, respected and dead, we gave up our lives for Sex and Money.

The world is run by these 2 forces, we should stop fooling ourselves giving ourselves stories to believe, we keep claiming the magic word “Love’ hoping that all the bad, the negative, the very things we have created and breathed into existence, the things we don’t want to see or be a part of, will magically go away, we exchanged “Avada Kadavra” with Love and we keep trying it out, we throw it at people, we make sand castles with it and hope to keep them up, until the next tide comes in, the next sorrow, the next thing we’ll give away of ourselves until there will be nothing left that can stand up and say Enough.

Black is our ultimate expression, in a world full of colours we wear the absence of it, the absence of life, the ultimate symbol and visual to tell each other, don’t bother, I’m dead already.

But we are not, underneath what and who we think we are, Self is there, the One Self that equals Life and is Equal in everybody in value and opportunity for change, the Self of each one of us that longs to express, to demolish this world of fake Capitals to return the Capital to Life, because Life is the Capital that everyone owns and was born with as and into, the choice to mourn the death of Life is a tragic one, Life is not dead, we are, in separation from everything that exists we experience sorrow and despair and hopelessness and our slow death, the death of a Life that is never taken until the last Breath, but is exchanged for the razzle dazzle glitters and sequins that we use to thread the stories of ourselves that were never real but in our imagination and that have built the prisons we are now convinced we will never be able to leave behind.

We are the keys to our own prisons, free yourself with Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness, you can build your Self Trust again, all our judgements of ourselves and others exist in our make belief worlds and castles, we built them, we know how to bring them down, there is only ourselves holding the key to our jails, we are the key, we’ll have to undo the spells we cast upon ourselves one  by one, walk our life stories backward until we see the door, we are the key, the spells and the door, we are All there Is.

Let’s give up our make belief worlds, let’s give up Black as a symbol of our mourning, we are not dead yet, let’s get back to Life instead.

Life is available for free at Desteni

For support on standing up and getting back to Life as Life: Desteni

To support a system that will allow all Life to be freed: Equal Money System

To support Life: Equal Life Foundation






Exposing Human Delusions: Brands, Branding, Branded ?

“We work to uncover the societal and unconsciously rooted knowledge that shapes consumer behavior, to develop highly strategic

and powerful business building propositions. The deep human insights we discover, create more human brands”

Let us show you how to harness the power of applied anthropology to create lasting human connections. “

– from a Branding Company Corporate Mission Statement –


As part of my process of Self Realization, today I want to look at the point of Brands, Branding, Branded within my Human experience.

I am Italian by birth and cultural programming, in Italy Brands are very important, Valentino, Armani, Prada, Miumiu, Max Mara, Dolce e Gabbana, Versace, each one of them brings up images and ideas about their particular brand, what they represent, what they are expressing, what they stand for as a Lifestyle, what they can add to our Lives.

Each one of them is a Club of their own, the access to the Club is exclusive and must be obtained through Money of course, the highest the image value they have been able to project, the more expensive the clothes and accessories. WHY ?

Because we are no longer just buying clothes and accessories for Self Expression, we are buying clothes and accessories to express what someone else has created and designed for us to express, and we pay a hefty price for it.

Brands have detroyed artisan businesses in Italy, because the small artisans could not compete  with the kind of Money that BIG BRANDS could put up to create an Image, an idea of a lifestyle, an idea of WHO are the people that buy their clothes and accessories, we have gone beyond the idea of clothing the body, now we are playing the game of WHO can cloth it better, who can get more value for themselves through the investment of money. We are exchanging Money for our Personal Value. We are buying Our Value, Our Worth.

In Italy they have drilled into us the idea and belief that what is branded has more Value than what is NOT branded, the quality is better, by mental association so we came to accept and believe that Humans that are Branded, are more valuable than Humans that are Not.

Popular words used by the Branding Community : worth, value, quality, exclusivity (this is a favourite), uniqueness, originality, individuality.

I want to say that lately I have been buying 2 euros tee shirts for the gym and found NO difference in the quality, they are made of cotton, comfortable and practical. the same tee shirts by famous brands would cost around 80 to 100 euros, the 78 to 98 euro price difference is our worth, when we buy those clothes we are using the money that is not the worth of the clothing but the worth of the Brand to give value to ourselves. And so the more we own, the more value and worth we beLIEve we have in the daft ‘money comparison game’ that we have come to accept and believe we must play.

Yesterday I watched one of the series about ‘the century of Self’ and how big corporates came to understand that human beings in the 60s and 70s were moving away from buying their mass produced stuff, in search for ‘individuality’ and ‘uniqueness’, thus a new market was born with the help of Social Antropological studies, we call this field today ‘Applied Anthropology’.

What is ‘Applied Anthropology’ ?

here is the Wikipedia explanation

‘Applied anthropology refers to the application of the method and theory of anthropology to the analysis and solution of practical problems.’

Now don’t go dreaming about ‘practical problems ‘ like famine or how to prevent violence, wars, social inequality and social abuses, we have to bear in mind that any study that is taking place in this world at the moment is MONEY based, meaning it’s about how to make money, more money, how to stop people from not allowing the ones who are making money from making money, how to manipulate and bring the people that have briefly moved away from consumerism, due to social or historical event, back into consumerism.

Why is that, why aren’t we addressing the problems that are plaguing the world at the moment, why can’t we see, stop and take a look at this reality of inequality and abuse and work towards soutions that would benefit All Equally ?

Because everything that is happening in the world at the moment is determined by Money, Money  has become the God of Man, nothing is more important than Money at the moment, no thing, no body .

If you doubt this have a look, this is Wikipedia explanation of examples of questions that an applied anthropologist would attempt to solve :

  • If an American buys diapers at 2 am on a saturday in a grocery store, what is likely to be their next purchase ? -I am not joking , please check that out by yourself –
  • How can public health authorities promote condom use among members of a particular sub-culture ? -note the use of this sentence, promoting condom use is not sponsored by health authorities, they are just the front line, these studies are promoted by Condom Manufacturers, who couldn’t care less about the health of the SUB- cultures, they just want to sell, so again Money running the show.
  • How can anthropologist on Human terrain teams help the Military identify local traditions of cooperative endeavors that may apply to well maintenance in Afghanistan ? – translation of this sentence – how can the commoners be manipulated through their beliefs and traditions to cooperate to maintain something they did not want in the first place but since the Democratic Dream team went and built wells under their forced down the throath infrastructure projects – check out IMF and World Banks and what they do in thirld world countries for MONEY – now we need them to MAINTAIN THEM ON OUR BEHALF AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

These are just examples of applied anthropology, the science behind Human Branding.

So, how did Human Branding come about ?

Through our needs and desires to be special, branding was nothing else but the reply to our own ‘desires to be unique individuals’, but uniqueness comes at a price, they license to us the right to ‘think and imagine’ ourselves as unique an exclusive.

When we look at it this way, it’s quite daft that we are participating in such a scheme at all, but how can we stop ?

We have to give up our desire to be unique and exclusive in favour of What is Best for All.

We have to give up our selfish desire to ‘dress up our Egos into imaginary personalities’, abdicate our wants and deep seated and suppressed desires for exclusivity in favour of What is Best for All.

Human Branding is a scam, it’s our Self Created Scam, we manifested it on our way of looking for value and worth outside of ourselves, in our quest for uniqueness and exclusivity.

We must stop EXcluding others to feel special, it’s time to include All in our quest for What is best for All, and we must remember, branding has just been revamped into ‘something good’ , have we forgotten what branding was all about just a few years ago ?

Let’s break free from our mental concentration camps that we have accepted and allowed hoping that we could ‘feel better about ourselves’.

We don’t need to feel worthy, to look for value outside of us, we need to stop believing we are worthless and find again our Value as Life, One and Equal to everything that exists.

Join us at Desteni, to change and free ourselves from the mental delusions we have embraced as real, there is only One of us Here, let’s drop our delusions for what is Best for All, we are One, not special, not unique, just One and Equal and that is more than enough once we can deeply grasp what it means.

Stand up, free yourself, do what is best for All as One and Equal www.desteni.co.za