2012: The Physical vs Spirituality, is there a war going on ?

I have been living on and off the ‘redefine Money’ thread, as I have been actively working on closing the Gap between myself and Equal Money and I have now bridged most points  quite efficiently as me, and I enjoy the sharing of this Wonderful New Unifying Concept to people who have not yet come in touch with it.

One thing that has ben happening consistently on the FB threads is the contribution of the spiritual groups, they are fiercely opposed, which is mind-boggling to say the least, for some reasons they fail to see Money as Equality fit quite comfortably  into all their well nurtured beliefs Goodness, helping each others, brothers and sisters, we are Love, the two things just don’t compute satisfactorily.

I want to look at my own experience with the Spirituality movement and how I embraced it for many years and why, as a way to see for myself my own motivations and what were my fears that led me to want and desire to believe in the invisible, discarding even the idea of looking at the physical where there was no effort to be made, nothing to believe, where it was enough to just open my eyes and look.

It started with looking for reasons for this existence, obviously I was not born rich, even though for the living standards of the time in Italy we were well off, my mum with her overtime money at one point even had enough to buy 3 Black and white TVs, we kept one, one went to my great-grandmother and one for my school. I felt very important when the nuns thanked me publicly for what my mum had done, and very proud, I was about to learn that Money could give me value and recognition and I enjoyed the feeling of being the vicarious giver and the acknowledgement that went with it.

As I grew up I realized that there was Inequality in the way people lived, even within my own family, my grandmother for the time we lived in was rich, had a nice big apartment with 2 bathrooms and a huge living room while we lived with my mum in the subsidized government housing. I envied the life my grandparents lived, the no limit life that Money can grant you, the freedom to go to the supermarket and not have a limited amount of money to spend, I liked the splurging, the luxury, the going out to eat at restaurants where I could order as many Cokes as I wanted, until I burst with gas and food.

I even looked down at my mum in contempt, I understood that Money=Value and since she had less, she had obviously less value, not only in my perception of course, this was her perception of herself but as a system I took it on board and made it mine.

My participation in and as the money System grew as I understood that Money buys you privileges, freedom, the ability to be mobile, to have choices, Money was clearly the God of this world, but on the outside I married the secretive attitude we hold about Money, we all know what it is for each one of us, yet nobody talks about it, owns up to it, instead we play it down, we say I don’t care about Money, we want to be noble, above it, beyond it because the fear that we will never ever have it, or never have enough is just too great to be faced.

I recall 3 movies that took on this point quite clearly, one was Indecent Proposal, where a woman in a couple is offered 1 million to have sex with R. Redford and they decide together with the husband to accept, and it destroys them, so this point was morality for sale, another more recent called The Box, where a black box is delivered to a very ordinary, well off, educated American family in the 60′ and they were told that they would have 1 million if they pressed the button on the black box, they were told as well that someone would have to die, but they did not know this person and had never or will never know who he/she was. This movie covered the point of morality, humanity and Life for sale. Did they press the button ? Watch the movie 🙂 But I am sure anyone can guess quite accurately.

The third movie was an Italian movie, very interesting, a man is unemployed and on a social grant for being an invalid, when his social grants are suspended he talks with the grant inspector and tells him, please don’t suspend my grant, yes I faked my invalidity but in a way it’s real, I was a communist and believed in communism for over 20 years until one day I woke up and realized the world I live in, my belief system collapsed, hence I am now invalid, no longer fit for society, so I never really lied you see, if you don’t support me you may be the one that turns me into a criminal, what choices does a mind invalid such as me have left ? But the system doesn’t stand by him and instead the inspector gives him a long speech about Honesty and what it means to be an Honest man, like himself. 8 Years later the Inspector starts to receive anonymous monthly envelopes with Money, big sums, like 20000 euros per month, and it goes on for 10 months. After 10 months the man to whom he had decided to suspend the social grants turns up, he tells him he was the sender of the money, he tells him he is just sharing his wealth and that it was thank to him that he turned into an efficient criminal, he was into selling drugs to children, prostitution of minors, robbing old women, and he had become as ruthless as the criminal life demands, all thanks to him, now it was sharing time. The Inspector said he had not touched a penny since he did not know where the money was coming from, the man told him he still owed him 800000 euro to get to 1 million of euros which was his rightful 10% of the ill earned wealth. The Inspector refused, the wife of the inspector asks to talk to him in private and threatens to leave if he doesn’t take the money, and so, he accepts, for the sake of the peace of the family. Only later the man tells him he had won the money betting every week for 10 years on the Inspector phone number, until the numbers came out, he won 10 million and wanted to give him 10%, but he wanted to show him that he was not as honest as he thought, nobody is, Money has an outwordly allure, we know what Money is connected to and what it could do for us, freedom, choices, no more fears for the future, possibility to share with others having enough for oneself, education for children, healthcare, it’s hard to say NO.

So, at an unconscious level that we play out in movies to show each other that we are just as dishonest as anyone else, as ready to sell out as anyone else, we all know, we KNOW we would make the same choices, Money or God, Money or Love, Money or Spirituality ? No matter what we think about ourselves somewhere inside of us we know what we would choose, Money is a sure bet, it can buy the ‘love’ of this world, meaning company and sex, with Money who needs God, being God just the insurance policy for the poor that have nothing else and Spirituality ? Come on, if you had all the Money in the world, would you mind fuck yourself into oblivion or would you take the round the world cruise, the trip you always wanted, go shopping for a house renovation, you would be the busy body into all the latest trends, the value point was never changed, just suppressed and it would be unleashed into spending frenzies updating your desires as days go by from the new spending power platform.

So Spirituality/God is the best compensation tool for the poor, the second price that has a ‘value’ on the value market, the rich are clever, they accepted to give value to spirituality/God as a noble thing, while they fuck off and enjoy the  Money. There are as well the ones that have too much to live peacefully, guilt and shame kill them but fear prevents them from sharing, so they are stuck between a rock and a hard place and that is the ideal spot for meditation, to quiet the mind, to stop the guilt and shame without having to give up or sharing the lot. And a great place to become Spiritual as a justification of WHY we don’t need to share or care without feeling guilty, it’s unrequired since all it’s just an illusion, we are energy in movement, information and patterns floating in space, All One already. I have been in both places myself.

For those that don’t have access to what they desired and for those that fear and are shocked by this reality we can say Spirituality is just another coping mechanism, a way to justify why the world is as it is, because if we dig back in time, we all have been asking ourselves this question, having been products of an abusive system that may have more or less touched us, scarred us and scared us, we know of the abuse that is going on, we have questioned it and when we came out of the questioning as “Spiritual Ones’ we have just simply, by default, given up substance and our ability to make any substantial change to the world system as me,  reality as me, One and Equal, as myself being the abused and abuser in a system that is not designed in benevolence, no matter how hard we try to believe it, a thin line of doubt will always run through our beliefs, what if this was all bullshit ? The question stays alive and kicking.

So when we start to expose the Equal Money system for what it is, an Equalizing tool to level the playfield for All,  exposing the hidden suppressed desire or guilt and shame of the Spiritual Ones, the fears and the resolve of never going back to look in self honesty at the point of Money and how we have already sold out long ago, resistance comes up. I am almost sure that many of them are not aware of what is the exact point they are yet unable to reconcile, it’s buried deep and the digging is not desirable not even for What is Best for All, let sleeping dog lie.

Those that don’t have enough probably fear of even “hoping” that a change may indeed be possible, they have worked so hard at accepting the mediocrity of their penniless reality that they would have to redefine reality by looking at their hidden fears again and expose them to themselves and that is bloody scary, yes they had been preaching Equality of some sort all their life, while they battled and suppressed their desires for ‘more’, their hopes to be finally one day ‘more Equal’ having accepted their Equal – Minus place in the world system as ‘the way things are’.  Wouldn’t then a system of Equal giving, a for-giving system be the absolute match to their belief system ? The physical representation lived in the practical of what spirituality is all about ?
The recognition of One Common essence, Life, running through all of us as Breath, One and Equal  and therefore the Equal right to sharing what the planet is giving for All ?

Instead This is not happening, consistently, I should add.  The reason is pretty clear, if I was never an Equal to start with, pretending to be more because I was not materialistic while all the while I suppressed my own self judgement of inferiority as a non achiever and a loser, I cannot conceive Equality as me because I was never an Equal to start with, I was just deluding myself inside a polarity between have and have-nots that made me suffer and I managed to leave behind.

Ultimately, that leads to Spirituality, there is a fear of death, the looking for an answer, a purpose, a reason to make sense of this Life experience, there must be a sense, what is the reason, why are we here ? And off we go with the stories, energy, consciousness, spirit, the afterlife, it’s just a ride, passing through, life is but the batting of eyelids, a moment in eternity and the list goes on infinitely to diminish the physical experience and make it unsubstantial. We survive embracing heavenly gossips and hear say of the ones that say they can see beyond the veil and either wrote or spoke about it, we failed to notice that none of them is looking beyond the same veil, because no afterlife report is equal to another one, we discount such earthly points like “lack of common sense” given that reporting should be Equal from whichever angle you look at something but just considering an added perspective, and not a complete reversal of stories, characters, paths and processes, just because WE WANT TO BELIEVE THERE IS VALUE IN THIS EARTHLY EXPERIENCE and we ended up hanging on to whatever fitted us best, whatever we saw could uplift us the most out of the physical reality of suffering and abuse.

So, where is the value of the earthly experience? If it’s in the AFterlife, we may have been had, didn’t they say As ABove So Below ?  This statement is pretty consistent across teachings so what makes us believe that unless we correct what is HERE, the AfterHere should be better ?

If the Below sucks, who can swear by the Godliness and Heavenlyness of the ABove ? What if the Above is Us without the Body, the Breath, what is in fact making Us Real and not imaginary thoughts and information floating in space ? What if the Physical was supposed to be Heaven Equal for All before the After can be heavenly lived  by All Equally?

Now this is a point that hurts. We spent our Lives wanting to believe in the benevolence of this Universe, this was the hardest point for me to let go, my idea of benevolence,  it still brought up tears just now, because benevolence as creation had to include me and my own benevolence, I was born good from a loving Creator, it was living that fucked me up.

Yesterday I saw a post on FB that made me want to reply, but I refrained because I felt anger and I had to address that anger first, the post was of a naked woman with one breast that survived cancer and the title was ‘Isn’t God good ?’ No, actually God is not good and if we use this example as God saving her then we must think he gave her cancer in the first place, if God created everything we have looong lists of very questionable creations that need explaining, so delusions in our attempt to hold on to an idea of benevolence are rampant and the hardest to let go, for me this was a key point to allow myself to face reality and there were many hidden and disguised points all around the same theme that came up for a while and I had to address consistently, regardless the fact that my self realization of reality started from precisely  this point.

When I joined Desteni my perception of myself had already shattered, I was on a mind overload, I was full of knowledge and information, you named it, I knew about it, heard about it, read about it, no practical application of anything, by that time I was on my knees with a self-created crippling addiction to Pot, my drug of choice to numb myself out of reality, and unable to hold any further delusion about myself, spirituality, LOA, Matrix Energetics, Quantum Physics and the Goodness ad benevolence of this experience and of the HereAfter.

The slippery slope started with the Conspiracy theorists, I bumped on some information about cure for cancer, and found that a few had claimed to be able to cure it and had been persecuted, isolated and threatened and some killed, from there the Benevolence of a planet in which I participated with my cancer research support, charity balls, upholding the benevolence of Humanity and all that bullshit just came tumbling down like a castle of cards.

There was no benevolence I could still see in a world where we kill each other, abuse each other, withhold a cure for a deadly disease, rape, torture, poisoning of food, water, Big Pharma, mind control of  humanity for consumerism, tied each other down through an economic system of enslavement, the Borgia would be shocked to see how far we took their teachings of manipulation and power crimes. Humanity was in a state of mess, spirituality became just another obvious delusion in the face of a Profit driven world that I had fully embraced and learnt how to make it work, for me.

So benevolence of the system was the first point to go (on the surface) and then benevolence of me as a proficient system participant went next. Desteni already knew all of this, I did not have to crawl there and confess that I was just as non benevolent as the rest of the world, they did not care for crawling Human beings, they cared for those that would stand up from the crash of the acknowledgement of their abusive inner nature and would stand up for what is best for All, they were putting together people who had self realized a need for self correction and offered tools to walk a process of undoing the participation in and as the system of abuse to rewrite a program of Oneness and Equality that would work under the principle of What is Best for All.

There is no guidance in this process but a Self Honest approach to where one stands in need for correction and how to go about it, no one can self correct on our behalf, we put the shit in our Minds and charged it with emotions and feelings and breathed it into Life as the Breath of Existence, we are the only ones that can undo it, this creation is the representation of our inner worlds, of what we have accepted and allowed One and Equal to ourselves, each one of us is a living Hell as a self-imposed judgement within a debt system for the creation of separation and having taken it so far.

We are releasing Self Judgement as who we are, it’s in our self judgement as the Court that condemned us and others to such existence that this world has taken Life from our Breath into existence, we’ll have to breathe it back, self correct it and re-breathe it and rebirth it into Life, there is no way out of this but to walk backward what we have birthed into existence.

The All There Is is HERE, this is it, nothing exists but us, nothing will correct us but ourselves, it’s time to let go of our delusions, It’s Bad For Ya, as George Carlin said, but in fact it’s bad for all of us, this is the price of Oneness, we are tied to each other in this self-destructive stance, we have condemned each other to a Life of starvation while we starve ourselves, from Life, from being all that we could have been, from being One and Equal instead than separated in 7 billion little pieces, and now in Oneness we’ll have to wait for each piece to catch up, to bring back the Wholeness of Oneness, and this can only happen through Equality, Unequal pieces cannot fit the puzzle, and until we stand up for Equality the world stands as the big damn puzzler we have become.

Unravel yourself to become an Equal so you too may stand as the solution to what the world is and the correction that is needed to manifest a new world, drop spirituality, drop anything that prevents you from seeing that unless you make yourself an Equal, we’ll have to wait for you and this process will be delayed and we will have to suffer more just for that one piece that was not willing to realign and come back to Equality.

Equality  is the way Home, we have to move slowly to allow all the pieces to catch up, to allow Equal chances for the necessary Self realization that we are in fact in a process of correction, making a U-turn, steering the wheel from Inequality to Equality, from Separation to Oneness, You are not the Mind as Thoughts Emotions and Feelings, This is NOT who you are, unless you insist on believing it, or you could in one Breath realize that you are Life, Equal and One, please try,  Breathe, Realize Who You Are, so we may all go Home.

To know more about the Tool we see could jump start us into Equality visit

Equal Money

For free self support in unraveling yourself

Desteni

To support the Equal Life Foundation

Eqafe

2012: Earth Ltd, firing God as the CEO and CFO

Last night I lay in bed and wondered if the 10 commandments translate the same in English as they do in Italian, as I think this could be one of the many reasons why we don’t have the same fear responses when it comes to religious quotes, so I went and had a look this morning and found out to my surprise that they DON’T! So not only we have been living a lie as Catholics but we have not even been living the same Lie.

Within a Corporate set up this is a big breach of Protocol, information must be equally shared to all of the corporations members, that the “God corporation” is such there is no doubt, it’s not even a non-profit one having been selling God and God paraphernalia to the hopeful believers for thousands of years, it’s a profit-making organization with extremely poor management skills.

When we enter a new job, there is nowadays what is called The Company Mission Statement, it tells you what is the objective of the company, what they have at heart and how do they plan to go about reaching their targets, plus you have an employment contract, that tells you what is expected of you, what are your duties and what are your rights.

As a corporation that employs millions of people in the world and has millions of employees, the Vatican as the Earth representative of God on Earth Ltd, making sure that we get it that the planet belongs to them and showing off all their goodies on display on their heads or hands or inside the churches, they failed miserably when it comes to management of Earth and the Earth resources.

We could input this to the separation that finally took place at the time of Descartes when the Church and the State were separated in duties and powers, the State got to rule the secular powers and the Church got to rule the sacred/ eternal powers. Even if today we don’t perceive it as such, at the time it was considered a victory for the people, a chance to get the leech that the Church had proven to be, off their backs and find some illusory relief in a fairer rule of the people for the people, that never came to be.

The Church was left with the ruling over the eternal powers, this took some skills to manage, because first you have to CON-vince everyone that there is something beyond death that they rule over, for this they needed Money, lots of it. Why would I make such a statement ? Because only with seeing the Money that we know is the seal of God on Earth, The Light of God on Earth, the A plus to a work well done that shows you are among the chosen one, they could fool everyone. They had to show the goodies to inspire the respect of the people, they showed off like Kings and Queens their Godly heritage, it was there to see, look, God gave me all this stuff, want some ?
Follow me I teach you how we do it (but they can’t, they cannot teach you how you open a bank in a make belief state that launders money for the Mafia, or how to build the biggest property portfolio of the planet, you need Capital for that, you must have it to start with, they won’t provide it, they in fact teach you how to be happy without Money, something they have not yet achieved for themselves, they are forward teachers, teaching what is yet unknown to themselves, but they convince you that you will have an eternal Life – a good one otherwise the shit hole you experience is just never going to end-  to look forward to if you do as they say, and who could honestly forgo such a bargain ? We are bargain trained after all).

So in truth nobody has ever followed the church if not for the Fear of God, and that Fear translated in not being able to survive, God = Love = Money and Money equalled your ability to survive, to be respected, to be feared, to be free, to be alive. Nothing has changed from then.

Back to the Corporation, in this religious Corporation we are given a to do list, an employee code of conduct, it’s called The ten Commandments, but NO rights whatsoever, I was pissed today when I saw on the Holy See site that they translated the Ones for the Italians as they pleased, they even changed the Holy day to Sunday from the Sabbath which was the saturday and they wrote it on the original English list, but then we worship the Sunday. I found an interesting Italian website that states in a LOT of words that the Vatican is Satan, one sign is the worshipping on Sundays, another sign could be that they have changed the 10 Commandments just for us brain-damaged Italians as they must think we are people with ADD who could not compute sentence long commandments but had to be given an easy to remember one liner ones, pity in the transcription they made a few changes to suit the Corporation, instill Fear and sell the solutions, confessions and the sacraments.

So half of the world is a Satan worshipper in sheep clothes, no, they are not just wearing sheep clothes, they are just sheep for real.

But does it matter, if one worships God or Satan ? Isn’t it obvious by now that they have been sharing the powers of the planet and beyond until now, good and evil, right and wrong, what is forbidden and what is allowed. At least Satan seemed fairer, for the time on Earth fuck around, have fun, care about nobody and just enjoy your life, there is no other life, get the most out of this one. God instead has been a tight ass forbidder, don’t do this, don’t do that, not that he had a better result than Satan looking at the state of the world, he just pushed people to be dishonest about what they did anyway, and as the ultimate reward He gave them the confession, yes I know you’ll fuck around and do all the demonic stuff I forbade you to do, but if you come to me, I’ll wash you clean and then you can start from scratch, where you left off, I have absolutely no faith in you being able to change, You Are Only Human, I am God instead, a revengeful, wrathful tantrum thrower but I have not hidden this from you, I’ve told you in oh so many stories, so what you see Godly about me escapes me, stop calling me God, you embarrass me, Creator will do just fine.

Now, back to the state of Earth Inc, of which we are all the stakeholders but unfortunately not yet the shareholders, we have had a CEO and CFO, God, the Church says that they represent the AlMighty God on Earth, He is Almighty but not All Willing, he could have fixed this mess but he did not, he allowed unfair distribution of resources of the planet to the Chosen Ones, His information sharing skills suck, we have been kept in the dark about catastrophes, plagues, epidemics, pandemics, murders, violence, not one clue has been given and he left it to us to work it all out.

So a corruptible unfair Chief Financial Officer who has had a slant in the support of secular nepotism, as the Vatican shows, incompetent Chief Executive Officer, because he has not taken any responsibility for the shit he has done unpunished for centuries, except sending his son to take the shit on his behalf (…and what does that say about him as a loving parent ?) and his organizational skills, to say the least are pathetic, has been in charge of the Earth, where have we been meanwhile ?

The World is in a mess, if we accept that polarity is an illusion we can see that both God and Satan are not real, they are the embodiment of our Hopes and Fears, of our desire to not take responsibility for this creation, there is only us here for real, We Are All There Is, and the leeches that have been sucking the blood out of us, the Blood Money, with our permission in exchange for the deliverance from our fears (not real) and eternal life,  for a safety net, for the mark of the Beast that would guarantee to us the entrance in some place after death, to not have to believe that our lives were just that, a series of  unmanageable events and sad stories that we covered up with a nice invention, LOVE, a good feeling word to keep us separate from what we did not want to see, to not have to face the extent of our lack of responsibility, of our acceptances and allowances that turned the world into what it is today.

God is not real, Satan is not real, and if God is real he is fucking fired for the incompetent heartless psychopath he has turned out to be and do not fool yourself with “the Universe” story, get real, you have just changed the name tag on the Management Door, but you are still not in charge, I know because I have done exactly that, I have ditched God for the Universe only to discover I was a clever fucker for doing just that, it’s still was not ME responsible for having to change, for having to stand up and say ‘Til Here No Further”, because honestly, what else should happen in this world to make us say, Fuck this is totally unacceptable and I know I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t stand up now ?

Havent’ you had enough already ? Then stand up for Life !

For a solution that will benefit all Living beings Equally visit Equal Money

To get support for your delusions visit Desteni

To support the Equal Life Foundation visit Eqafe

2012: What has power over me ? My fear of the AfterLife

When I was a kid, the first Death I witnessed was the one of my great grandmother.

I was 5, it was the strangest thing because I had not heard about death prior to that moment and then one day, Death was in the house.

My great grandmother lived in what is the Italian equivalent of ‘the projects’ in America, at the time apartments were built with a common balcony that run around all apartments of the floor and then they shared one toilet in the corner of the common balcony.

When they installed the toilets inside the apartments, a few years before I was born, it was an event, the toilet just had the toilet bowl and the water of a hand-held shower run directly into a hole in the floor.

I remember washing myself inside a basin that was filled with water from the boiling pan in the kitchen/lounge, the apartment had 2 rooms, the kitchen lounge and the bedroom, inside that apartment, during the war, there had been up to 6 people sleeping, all in one bedroom with one double bed and a single bed.

In my money schizophrenic life, I had a grandmother that by the standard of the time, was rich, she lived inside an apartment with 2 bathrooms (where I am actually living at the moment), one huge living room (almost as big as my great grandmother apartment), one big terrace, 4 balconies, one master bedroom and one study room and a livable kitchen, big enough to fit a table.

I did not like to live in my great grandmother house during the week when my mum was working, I liked the comfort of my grandmother home and not the poverty that you could breath inside my great grandmother home.

When she died, as it was customary at the time since she died at home, she was left on the big bed for people to come and visit (?) and pay their respect and say one last goodbye.

I couldn’t get around this story of Death, to me it was obvious that she was now an empty box, whatever was that gave her Life had gone, but I could not understand where did it go.

My mum said she had gone to Heaven, nobody knew where heaven was, which for a kid is confusing, because we are just learning that when you go to a place you must know where it is, instead for what concerned heaven everyone was happy to just point at the sky and say ‘it’s up there’.

I wondered how could Heaven be held up by moving clouds and not be visible, not even in the night, they had to turn on some lights, right ? So why didn’t we see them, why couldn’t they wave or stay in touch, what a way to behave, going away like that, no notice, when you go somewhere you have a schedule, you say your goodbyes and make plans for when you will see each other again, you know when you are going to leave, instead Death had no schedule, one day you were Here and the next you were in Heaven.

My great grandmother was very religious, she went to mass in the morning, every morning, and dragged me along, I did not like the church at all, churches are cold and designed to inspire Fear, everything is huge, the columns, the arches, the paintings of bloody saints and martyrs, beheaded, hanged, it’s definitely not a happy place, churches in Italy are cold even in summer, and all the people sitting and saying the rosary were puzzling, each one started and went at their own pace, mumbling the Hail Mary in latin, if I were God I would have liked specific and unique words to highlight my wondrous creation, not a chorus of boring rosaries, but at the time there was the point of devotion, reciting the rosary was a show of devotion, usually dressed in black, with the head covered and kneeling down.

So, since I was already brainwashed into the Catholic tradition from kinder garden, I knew the requirements to go to Heaven, my great grandmother fit them all, no one was worried about her post-mortem destination.

Still, once they left me alone in the bedroom with the corpse, while they greeted the visiting guests for which there was food to share,  I tried to pull her up, the death thing as a definite was not clear to me, so I whispered to her to stop it, that people in the other room were sad and believing she was no longer here, please pull yourself up. I did not have the strength to pull her up completely, I managed a half sitting position with humongous effort, she was cold and heavy even though she was skinny and frail by the time she died,  and then that point of trying to lift up a very heavy empty box, I could not get over the impression of being around an empty body.

When they came in from the other room, they screamed and shouted, I dropped her down, then explanations followed from my mother about Death, trying to make me understand that when someone dies, they are no longer here.

They sent the casket, put her inside and we went down to follow the funeral, we walked behind the funeral car very slowly, many people had come to see the funeral as she was loved and respected and considered a ‘good devout woman’, my mother was crying, she had been raised by my great grandmother, I understood crying at funeral was appropriate and even demanded, but I could not cry and felt guilty about it, I wanted to feel as sad as my mum, for support,  I even tried to think about sad things with no success, death had not yet hit me personally  as something  sad.

I have seen other 2 corpses in my life, one a friend of my uncle and then my uncle, I have missed all the other deaths of the family due to living abroad, the other 2 corpses I have seen left me with the same feeling, empty boxes.

It was easy for me to believe in Life after death, in a place where all the boxes contents had gone, because I saw it with my own eyes, only the body was buried, the ‘inside’ was no longer there, must have gone somewhere, Heaven was plausible.

I had more troubles with Hell, at one point in my Life I accepted Hell was ‘living in separation from God’, I gave up the flames of hell for the belief in a metaphorical hell of our own creation, I still held on to the belief that God was benevolent, only in my teenage years I was angry and questioned God, but found no sounding boards in Italy and the feedback was always the same, we can’t understand the BIG plan, in the great scheme of things we are insignificant, God has a reason for everything, one day we will understand it all. I gave in, they all believed it and they loved me, it must be so then.

But honestly I embraced this belief because I feared it might not be so, and I had no other explanation that made any sense, around the age of 13 or 14 I discovered there were other religions, WHAT ?? How can there be other religions ? But they reassured me, they have not yet heard of Jesus, only our religion is RIGHT, and they will go to Hell for what they believe. That was another point I had against Hell, why people who had not been blessed like us Roman Catholics to hear about Jesus would have to go to Hell ? How can you be punished for NOT knowing ? Rome was far away from the Middle East, to take just one example, they could not hear the Sunday bells (and all the other days bells), how would they know ?

Many beliefs about the afterlife were weird, I settled for the New Age ones, We are God, I am a Light Worker, Namaste, I salute the divinity in You.

Then I moved to Asia. They believed  really weird stuff !! They believed in the Hungry Ghosts coming to take bodies on a special Month of the lunar calendar, they suggested to not let the kids into the water during that time, body snatching happened more easily inside the water; they believed the afterlife was just like here and that there were days when the doors of this world and the Other World were opened up and gifts could be sent through fire, so a whole industry of paper replicas had developed for the offerings to the Other World,

this included paper money, credit cards, plane tickets, clothes, shoes, houses, mansions, paper maids (and thanks God for that or they would have burnt the Filipino people for real to send them to their ancestors),

of course even in death offerings there was a gap between rich and poor, the poor ones could barely send a paper house, maybe a simple 2 rooms one, the rich ones could send a mansion designed by an architect, the offerings could cost anything from 2 USD dollars to 1000 USD,  they even believed that if you were disabled here you would be disabled There, so they made paper wheelchairs to burn on the offering days. They had many Gods and they bribed them regularly with paper money offerings, The Chinese especially were never hypocritical about Money, they had the God of Wealth at the entrance of every temple because if you were in a rush that was the God you wanted to find the closest, they would kow tow, touching their forehead to the floor, in front of the God, make an offering to the Temple, have the temple keeper bang the drums to let the God know you were there and had paid the entrance fee and then they would detail their request. They believed as well that Heaven was as deceitful as here and as Hell, so everything they sent over they sent it with the specific address tag “Miss Chan…. The Other World”.

This left a big impression on me, this lack of trust was a point that bothered me, if you don’t even trust the Gods because they are spiteful and evil, who can you trust ? What kind of fear did they live with ?

More or less same as mine 🙂

Once I was convinced about the fact that there was in fact nothing clear about the Afterlife, I started to wonder where was the truth, who knew it and why it was not disclosed. What happened to us in the afterlife ?

When I met Desteni and discovered they were channeling dead people, I was not one bit surprised, there they were, the surprise was about what they had to say, in fact it was a shock, such was the shock that as I said in some of my other posts I could not take in on board at the first encounter with Desteni, I fucked around for another 2 years, between Matrix Energetics, Russian teachings of Grabovoi, shamans, healers and then the day that I was clear about having exhausted my options in self fucking (we chatted with my buddy last night and I said, if there was a job for that “experienced self fucker” it would have to be mine !), with the tail between my leg I went back to Desteni and accepted the truth, Self as origin taking responsibility.

I still fear the afterlife, not like before though, now I fear that I will indeed still be there/Here and will have to face what I have not cleared within this lifetime and not the opposite, as Bernard said once, death as in deletion would be a point of Mercy, what I did not get yet is, will we have access to this Mercy, because we have created a merciless world to which we stand One and Equal, will we be Equal to Mercy by the time we cross over ?

Will we have got the point that this is our creation and everything is happening as a consequence of our separation from everything that exists or we will keep the self fucking going to the point of mercilessness ?

One of my good Italian friend that I have introduced to the EMS said to me about Equal Money, “we will have to see if we accept that we deserve such a system” ! And I saw this point clearly, we are abusing ourselves and the world as an outflow of our belief in deserved punishment of ourselves and others, as the score keeping of our demented minds that having forgotten the separation don’t forgive themselves and others as themselves, having for-gotten that there are no others !

This world is our Self Expression, One Self Expression, the sum of our debts, suppressions, fears, beliefs, ideas, yes, crashing, humbling, makes us weep, but we can stand up and let go the ledger as the illusion that is keeping this reality alive, it will take the dropping of our masks, and the dropping of our debts, I have started to drop my debts through Self Forgiveness, so there is one less bookkeeper in the world and we may embrace the solution as the point of Mercy for ourselves and the World, One and Equal.

Let’s correct ourselves now to leave behind a world of No Fear that can be enjoyed by everyone Equally as an expression of who we are as Life and not who we are as a surviving, competing, evil species that is leaving behind a wake of Death and Destruction. This is NOT who we are, time to wake up and review our Lives while alive to realign to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All without having to wait for the Mercy of Death. Imagine the surprise to discover that the real Mercy was in the Physical, within the substance that was always Here standing One and Equal to everything that exists, while we fucked with ourselves in endless time loops in and as our Minds.

Desteni

Equal Money

support the Equal Life Foundation and get yourself a real Education from the ones that have already crossed over, to know what’s happening in the HereAfter at

Eqafe

Politics: our only chance to Real Change

I have been looking at this point regarding my repulsion for Politics and why myself and all the people I have been talking to would rather not get involved in politics or even talk about it, I have done a bit of investigation to be able to see  what are my/our perceptions and ideas about it that end up keeping us away from the only tool that could in fact change the world to what we say we want and wish it to become.

I have to start with my own personal experience of politics, because I know nothing else, I was born and raised in Italy where we have 4 languages, informal, formal, political language and legal language.

For the last 2 we need interpreters and specialized people to translate what it is meant by a policy or a Law, because the language of politics and of the Law is in fact not designed to be understood by everyone, when I grew up I ended up believing this to be ‘normal’, it was customary to watch politicians on TV talk about stuff we could not understand, never being able to hear a ‘YES” or ‘NO’  answer because everything was always like the oddest relationship choice on Facebook ‘it’s complicated’.

The Truth of the matter is that it is actually NOT complicated, it’s made complicated so we may all come to believe that politics is something out of our reach, that it belongs to the ‘politically gifted’, the diplomats, who are able to make us believe something that we know it’s not true, so basically we have been rewarding the gift of the magical speech, the one that keeps all enthralled and spellbound to promises of changes that never come true.

Here I am going to list the most used words in politics, who by the way have no foundation in the reality applied by the elected once they get elected, these words are the equivalent of Abracadabra and Avada Kadavra, the latest Harry Potter’s version of the same, meaning “Murders Opponent” which in fact it does, as the only hearing these words leaves us dead on the floor unable to see through the lies and the emptiness of what is proposed, here they come : FREEDOM, CHANGE, CHOICE, JUSTICE, FAIR, FAIRNESS, HONESTY, RIGHTS, LOVE (this is a heavy-duty one, used only sparingly for maximum effect), check within yourself and you will see, you have automatically responded positively to every single one of this prompting. These words exist within ourselves as passwords, they unlock our good feelings of ‘Hope” and desires for “solutions” that we dream about ‘hoping’ someone else will get to work and realize them on our behalf.

So, I have discovered I was prompted by my cultural upbringing and later on by my own ideas of what politics is and ultimately my judgements of it as bad and ineffective kept me away from politics, it was incomprehensible, unattainable, despised (by myself and the ones who have come to believe they will never be able to access it in any way whatsoever) and ultimately useless.

So, due to my own (induced by the system and accepted and allowed by myself) judgements of politics I have cut myself out from the political arena, I have given up my right to say that this world as it is, it’s absolutely unacceptable, instead, I, together with many others, have taken the opposition role, we take to the streets, we demonstrate, we shout and scream, set ourselves on fire, shoot ourselves and others for a political agenda that cannot be heard because politics happens in the place where we have decided we don’t want to go, inside the political arena, where policy agendas are written and voted, where the weight of the majority rules and can overthrow the existing status quo.

So, we need to review our perception of politics, here are a few examples of things WE DO NOT KNOW ABOUT politics:

If we got together and proposed a new Public Policy with enough people to make it the majority of people, which means half of the people present + 1 this is what would happen:

Public policy is authoritative. It means that the government has the authority to formulate and implement the policy. Authority implies legitimacy, and capacity or power. The government, therefore, has the general permission of the electorate as well as the means of implementing the policies. Thus, it also has the authority to enforce adherence to the policies. For example, if legislation has been passed by Parliament, it can be enforced by the executive and civil service, such as the police. (Botha and Kotze 2003:6)

Public policy (domestic policies) is mostly concerned with the allocation of resources. It determines how resources are distributed in society. Therefore, it means that decisions are made to determine priorities. Under democratic conditions, it also implies that procedures are used to determine how the allocations will be made and that those procedures are transparent and open to groups outside the public sector to be used. In non-democratic situations it is confined to the public sector. (Botha and Kotze 2003:6)

Public policy is always limited by the scarcity of resources. It means that there are always more needs in society than the resources available to address them. Because of the scarcity, public policy is about determining priorities and about how best to achieve the policy goals of the party/government with the limited resources. It implies that policies should be evaluated or assessed to determine how successful they were in terms of achieving the policy goals. Policy analysis is therefore an integral part of public policy planning and evaluation. (Botha and Kotze 2003:7)

Thomas R Dye: Public policy is whatever governments choose to do or not to do. (Botha and Kotze 2003:7)

James E Anderson (1984:3) gives the following definition of policy and public policy: Policy is a “purposive course of action followed by an actor or set of actors in dealing with a problem or matter of concern” and “public policies are those policies developed by governmental bodies and officials’ Anderson (1984:3�5) highlights the following aspect of his description of public policy:

 Public policy should be based on law and should be authoritative. Government has the monopoly to legitimately use coercion for the enforcement of its policies. No private organisation has the authority to articulate its policies in the form of legislation or other sources of law. (Botha and Kotze 2003:8)

A state’s ability to take decisions and make policies for itself without external sanctioning or interference is the ultimate indication of a state’s sovereignty. That ability is no longer so absolute and a state’s control over its policies is therefore also curtailed. Tendencies that affect such a limitation are globalisation (especially market liberalisation spearheaded by the World Trade Organisation); increasing influence by social movements, NGOs and businesses in the public sphere; and regionalisation. (Botha and Kotze 2003:10)

So, in plain language, we could draft a public policy about a New Monetary system, an Equal Money System, , bring it forward and have it voted by the majority of the presents + 1, then we would have the right to enforce it on the rest of the ones that are yet still too brainwashed, too confused or in too much fear to see that we have no other solution that will bring about an effective lasting change than to realign to What is Best for All to stop All abuses. No one will be left behind from benefiting from such enforcing, yes it will take some adjusting, some that have been extensively and unrelentingly benefiting from the inequality of the system might kick and scream a little but that is not important or relevant to the fact that a change is needed for What is Best for All and every single one on the planet will be helped to reeducate themselves to come to see this point through dropping our humongous Egos that exists in and as self-interest and correct ourselves into What is Best for All.

So, we suggest to stop the divisions which are planned by the current system to make sure we may never realize where is the Real Power and how to access it, stop Occupying, stop demonstrating, realize that since we are all part of the problem, and hence the problem itself, we can and must be part of the solution.

Politics is not evil, we are, we are the ones that closed our eyes to what was going on, so we can start our correction by standing up and seeing that this change requires DOING and not opposing the doing of others which is what we do when we demonstrate and sit in and as an imaginary opposition stance without an agenda for real Change.

Bernard Poolman said :  The brainwashing of potential voters into a form of conspiracy madness play into the hand of the elite. It is in the elites interest to fund such groups to capture and direct the young minds and make sure they never get to politics and as they get older, they will give up and work at Walmart for survival

Get it ?

This is how we have given up our lives to the system, so we now stop conspiracy theories to prove it’s others doing something wrong and not us NOT doing what is right and what is best for all, instead we start to educate ourselves about Politics, what will entail to draft a Public Policy and bring it forward, what will it mean for each one of us to become prospect members of the new system we are drafting, how we are planning to give up our own greed, competition and self interest for What is Best for All and then under this one principle we Unite and make it Happen.

Equal Money is ready, the solution is Here, it just needs us to spread it and be the solution itself to start changing the system from inside, as each piece as One and Equal, goes through its own personal realignment to Oneness and Equality until the change has and will be manifested outside into the All Giving Equal Money System, because when we stop the for-getting we can start the for-giving to All, One and Equal to Life itself and everything that is Here.

The tools are available for All for free if you cannot yet spare the Money to support yourself and the system change

for personal correction visit Desteni

o educate yourself about a new Monetary System visit Equal Money

to support the Equal Life Foundation visit Eqafe

2012: Jobless ? No worries, the Vatican is looking for Exorcists

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Today a very popular Italian weekly magazine titled the cover page ” Looking for Exorcists’ with a Priest making it to the cover page.

It’s been a long time since a Priest has been on the cover page of a magazine in Italy even when the talks were about pedophiles priests, the pictures was not allowed to be shown, for a form of ‘respect’ (for the priest).

So I found it interesting that it should be the Devil himself bringing back the priests into the Spotlight.

What’s going on ?

The cover article said that “Possessions” are on the increase, they count 500.000 people yearly asking for help to the Church with a 30% increase in the last 5 years between believers and NON believers, 20% of this numbers is made up by children, then 65% of women across all levels of wealth and education, having a degree is no longer a guarantee that you won’t be able to believe in the Devil, the Devil is everywhere, knows no social division, the Devil is Fair.

The men seem to handle the Devil better, they know they are the Devil themselves, they know what they think, how they debase women in their mind, how many times a day they think about fucking and abusing women they don’t even know or that are in a relationship with their friends and family members, it’s a ‘men thing’, amazingly it’s either a data that says men are more honest with themselves or they just bare the burden of their own thoughts words and actions better than women, children don’t count, they are dragged to exorcism due to non compliance, whenever their behaviour doesn’t fit ‘what they should be’ mum can blame it on the Devil and get the kids exorcised, the Catholic answer to Ritalin.

There are 300 active exorcists in Italy, many are old, they handle a maximum of 5000 cases a year but the waiting list gets longer every year, because one exorcism is never enough, some people may need exorcisms that last for years, it takes years sometimes to get the Devil to leave his prey alone :), this is why the University in Rome headed by Christ’s legionaires organizes every year a Master on Exorcism and Prayers to Freedom to form the new generations of Devil Busters priests. Doesn’t this make us question the power of God at the same time, that the Devil is obviously so superior he can decide to stay on for YEARS while some silly chanting and lating invocation is repeated ad nauseam to no effect ? If God was the Master of the Universe, one single All Powerful command from God & Associates and the Devil should retreat immediately overtaken by the Fear of God and leave with his tail between his legs. Doesn’t seem exorcisms are so effective after all, if you were going to a Dentist to pull out a tooth and he had you go back for years, how much trust would you have in him ? Does he really know what he is doing or is he just guessing ? Does he know his trade or is he just pretending ? Are we all just pretending ? Do we in fact Fear the Devil LESS than we fear ourselves and having to face what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become ?

And if the devil did exist, when he leaves a body, where does He go ? Is he defeated ? Seems hardly if exorcisms are on the increase, how many Devils are there ? Do they multiply ? Do they have children, baby devils that possess children ? Where do they live ?

Ever thought where is the Devil’s home if there should be one on Earth? Many did ask themselves this question and came to the obvious conclusion, WHERE WOULD YOU LIVE IF YOU WERE THE DEVIL ? If you were an Imaginary Polarity Figure representing the highest Evil in the World, wouldn’t you live where the Highest Imaginary Figure representing the Good of the World lived ?

Yes that’s right, inside the Vatican 🙂

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Father Malachi Martin knew for sure, he left the Jesuits at one point because the whole Good vs Evil battle was just too much, he could no longer bare it.

The Pope stayed on instead

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What would be Christmas without Satan..oops Santa ?

So the belief is that there is an Entity that dominates and controls us, The Evil Entity known as The Devil, Satan, Lucifer, that ‘makes us do evil stuff, that tempts us, that puts words in our mouths, plots in our heads, that wants us to struggle and suffer while he has a ball at our expenses.

The Devil is historically represented as the Serpent, the Serpent with the forked tongues, meaning what? Meaning a duality, which is what we all live. Movie series like Ally Mc Beal have been made to underline, expose and make ‘normal’ the secret voice that speaks non stop in our Minds, the secret voice that says nasty things while we show the good face, the secret voice that is keeping us busy up there in the head, and never Here, where Life really happens while we miss out on it by being away in the Hell we ourselves created in our Minds, wouldn’t be normal for people that spend so much time in Hell to believe in the Devil ?

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The only problem with this accepted and encouraged (by the Catholics) belief is that it makes us powerless, Yes, there is the advantage of the relief of having someone to blame, – fucking Devil, please God deliver me from him -, but what if the Devil was inside, what if this battle was already lost when we started engaging it, what if the Devil was the sum of all our judgements, ideas, beliefs and thoughts about good and evil that we have lived (opposite of Devil, how strange..) and breathed into existence, what if the Devil and God were Our Creation and not viceversa ?

Vittorio Feltri commented the exorcism article with this sentence:

“Literature has often documented the tough fight that each one of us puts up to not fall into the temptation to give in to Evil. Yes beltzebu’ is always scheming in the most secret places of our mind ready  to suggest the best way to trip someone, how to take a shortcut, how to trample someone’s rights on our quest for greed, how to be indifferent to the reasons of our hearts, cinical, cruel. It’s not true that the Devil possesses us, it’s us possessing the Devil and often we ask Him advises following them with pleasure, I have a suspect, what if WE were the Devil ? “

Yes, what if we were the Devil ? What if this world was the plain manifestation of our Polarity Play, what if this was the creation of our Sick Abusive Minds ?

Many have different theories about how this Creation came about, what if we had been lied to, conned into made up stories designed to never allow us to realize ourselves, what if someone knew how it all came about and has been out for some time to explain it but nobody listened because everyone was too lost inside their personality play and the Beliefs and Ideas of ‘Who they really Are (or wish to be)’ ?

You want to know who you really are ? Really ? Here is the whole story

How this Creation came about and Why

So if you think you are God without acting like one, or the Devil, or that you are possessed, support yourself to release yourself from your own Polarity design, you are the One with the Keys to your Mind, exorcise yourself back to Freedom into Equality and Oneness. Give yourself a Chance to Live again, Give Life back to Yourself.

Breathe yourself back to Earth.

For more information, support, Q&A regarding the process of giving back Yourself to Yourself as One and Equal with Existence visit

Desteni.org

Eqafe.org

2012: Why did I decide to walk with Desteni

I have asked this question to myself several times, especially at the beginning of this process, mainly because I perceived process to be a chore, something that would have taken everything from me in terms of commitment and application, something that, coming from a Catholic, background, I first associated with atonement, penance self-flagellation style and I resisted it with a passion (passion=suffering :)).

The first reason that brought me to Desteni was FEAR, I had developed an utter Fear for this reality realizing that nothing was what it seemed and that the awakening was not at all what it was cracked up to be, the awakening was just waking up to the utter abuse and destruction that was going on in this world, starting from myself.

My first post on the Desteni Forum said “do you people realize how much Fear you are spreading with your message ??”, and I meant it in CAPITAL LETTERS, because this is what I felt when I found them, I had woken up in a reality that was far from Love and Light, I had tried to slide back into my positive thinking stance unsuccessfully and then Desteni, after hearing their message at first I even went to a Shaman, to try to take their message out from me, like a curse, I had been cursed into self responsibility and now the curse – and not my refusal to stand up -was eating up my Life.

In one clear sentence, I moved into Desteni with much resistance, NOT to the message but to the task, I hated the idea of having to become Self responsible, first because I was not even close to believing I could EVER be a Self Responsible being, second because so much of me was invested (and so much money was spent) in support of utter bullshit that made me feel good that I perceived Desteni would be my undoing, in terms of stability, I perceived that while I had always walked the thin line of crazy, if I did join them that would be it, I would turn into a total nutter.

The first reply I got from one of the people on the Forum was ‘ we are NOT spreading Fears, Humanity has been living in fear forever, we are merely pointing this out’, don’t shoot the messenger…

But I knew different, when I would listen to Bernard’s vlogs, his voice scared the shit out of me (only later I saw he literally scared MY fear/shit OUT OF ME), it’s interesting to look back now because I kept going back for more, some of his messages I couldn’t even understand, it was like I lacked a common sense vocabulary to HEAR what he was really saying never mind understanding the purpose of why he was saying what he said in such a passionate way.

I brought my polarity mindset all the way into Desteni, I would listen to Bernard and get scared shitless and utterly terrified and then I would listen to Sunette Spies and find some balance again, it was like the bad cop good cop game, one gave  it to me typhoon style, the other helped me pick up the pieces after the devastation I perceived in the post-Bernard moments, at the time Sunette was almost always expanding on the brief shocking vlogs of Bernard and I found I wanted both, the shock and the leniency of the aftershock.

I pushed myself to go through the material, I had already realized I was a system and many of my studies were in that direction, in fact a specific direction, why a system can’t change, what is the driving force behind all of this existence, because I could actually see myself switching personalities and being driven into action, words, thoughts by them, I was a car at full speed with no one at the driving seat.

Not to talk about Equal Money, in fact at the beginning Equal Money was my biggest bugaboo, I didnt’ understand it, I didn’t see how it could be possible, I just received it as a mere wish to put on my wish list of unattainable things.

One day I read on the Forum ‘you cannot understand Equal Money without Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty’, this too took me a while to place into a contest I could first understand and then experience.

Given my background brainwashing I carried huge resistance for the ‘Self Forgiveness ‘ approach, I read everything offered about it, I tried to clear the Self Forgiveness tool through self forgiveness, but the lists of Self Forgiveness on the Forum looked disturbing, like self-flagellation in action, exposing all of yourself for a life review for which you took the blame, for which you declared how faulty and disgusting you  had been. I joined in, I had my own list to share, it felt humbling and even humiliating at times, I was nowhere close to ‘feeling good’ through process even though by then I had understood that feelings and emotions were polarity expressions of the Mind, I still longed to feel good because ‘feeling good’ had been my driving quest for over 20 years, this was a bit of a hard habit to kick but the freer I become from feelings and emotions the more stable I perceive myself, no longer on the swing from feeling bad to feeling good, what a bloody relief !

It took me a while to understand Self Forgiveness in itself, in general I can say it took me a while to understand the process because it’s only recently that I got it as a point I have actually walked into through self directing myself to just STOP for real, and that’s when I got it and saw some changes because it was never about the blame and about self-flagellation, nope, that was what I was doing before process, it was about standing up and stopping it all, Self Forgiveness  was the delete/reset button of the system, for-giving me back to me from the separation I had allowed and accepted as me, because it was such separation that made me sick and self abusive, because separation implies you don’t want to take back ALL of you into you and correct it, because you still hold extensive judgements about Yourself that you have not yet forgiven, integration and wholeness  cannot happen in self judgement, self forgiveness was the self judgement/others judgement removal tool, it was to clean the slate for real, so I could rewrite on a blank slate who I want to be, what I want to support, what do I stand for.

As well self forgiveness gave me a tool to stop abusing myself and others, a tool that I am still using because as a system much in me is still automated in the process of being corrected, at the beginning of this process I made a few miss-takes, I had just switched polarity, I went from an absolute positive thinker to a lousy negative wreck, looking at myself like if I were the scum of the earth until I realized, I have not yet left the building, the Matrix, it’s about getting out of this construct as me, the Mind, because within the Mind I exist ONLY in polarity, there is no chance for me to wrestle my mind to the ground, I have to embrace me, not what I thought about me, not what I believed about me, but embrace me the thinker, the emotional reactor, embrace the separation until it dissolves and I can equalize myself inside with the outside.

Just recently process has become easier for me, I finally got it, it’s the very opposite of self-flagellation, it’s about stopping the self-flagellation by for-giving myself and from there start to walk self honestly no longer in self-interest but with a leading principle, to consider all existence, One and Equal to myself. I can say looking back that this was what self honesty and self forgiveness did for me, they made me realize how much hate I had for myself, for the way I lived and the words I spoke and my interactions with others, only when I saw it exposed clearly I could begin to stop.

It’s about stop believing that I am more because I feel less or feeling less and then desiring to be more, when I breathe and I am Equal to everything and everyone else, the struggles fall, the mind tantrums stop and I catch a break, and it’s in these breaks that I caught because of what Desteni taught me that I have started to Breathe again. Literally.

The reason why I stuck with them is because even when I was a demented addict I could not discount their message, it’s so simple, give what you would like to receive, embrace all Life as You and you will be All Life, One and Equal, what’s there to NOT SUPPORT in the Message of Equality?

Ultimately I stuck with Desteni because nothing else made sense, if the message doesn’t include Oneness and Equality it  cannot be real, if we are One we must be Equal, if we are Equal we must be One, all the other teachings are just lip service to the religion of self in self-interest and in separation from everything that exists.

So for those drawn to Desteni that fear like I did about what you will lose, what you will have to give up, the answer is NOTHING, NO THING you will give up was ever real, NO THING you will give up was ever useful and best for all, in fact those were the very things that kept us enslaved, separation is a bitch, it’s through separation that we got where we are today, if we had remembered our Oneness and Equality we would have never done to each other what we did.

Some parts of us are struggling and suffering, it doesn’t need to be this way, we can give ourselves back to ourselves to become the whole that is One and Equal to Life, the suffering must stop inside each one of us, the wars, the conflicts, the blame, the hatred, when we begin to realign to what is best for all we stop all delusions of separations and we HEAL and the world Heals one and Equal to us.

Equal Money is just the next common sense step, it was born out of looking for a way to uplift the One and Equal with one strategic common sense move, giving Equal Access to Money, the Living God that grants access to all resources, to everyone Equally, it would be the fastest easiest way to accomplish this because the infrastructures are already in place, it’s the source/value of the Money system that must change, when Money Equals Life and Life becomes the Capital that invests in the planet that’s when real change can happen, profit won’t be based in self-interest anymore, profit will be what each of us will receive for our investment in Life One and Equal, we will all live in abundance and we will be proud of the world we will have built and will leave behind.

Don’t leave Money to your children and your loved Ones, leave them a Better World, that is Real Love in Action that considers the Best for All in Equality and Oneness.

Support the practical solution that will bring all the pieces back together, Stand up for Life One and Equal.

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe

2012 The LOA and the Illuminati led me to Desteni

My story of how I came to Desteni is a bit convoluted because I started as a staunch follower of Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction and for years I had disciplined myself to ‘think positively’ and to repress and suppress the negative thoughts – because they never really, went away, buggers – and I used Pot as well to push them down deeper because I wanted so much to believe the story that the Universe is a loving place and we were given an emotional guidance system as a sign of such loving force.

I had to battle a few common sense questions at the beginning which were: if this is the Truth of reality, why doesn’t everybody know about it, why is it a Secret, why don’t we teach it in school and now to the hungry people so they can get food and whatever they need ?

Through ‘my belief’ in the Law of attraction I had some success, at least I believed it was because of the LOA and not by my personal investment, obviously the system is designed to reward happy slaves and not grumpy ones, so by my ‘forced happiness’ I managed to get myself good jobs and a good life while I kept at bay all my friends with a ‘negative attitude’ in fear to be contaminated and having to lose the touch of Grace that I had with much struggle, built for myself.

This was another point that I questioned about existence, it seemed to me that everyone had had traumatized  lives, when everyone would participate in what Carolyn Miss defined as woundology, the wounds of the others never seemed so much better than mine, so this other question of an existence of suffering was something I suppressed because I could not find a logical answer to this, why would a loving Universe have people born and traumatized, really, what was the point that I was missing ?

The teachings of Abraham anyway always made sense to me, I made them make sense because they did  in fact make me feel better, by uplifting me out of my own responsibility for this world, One and Equal to me, I embraced the belief that we all came to experience something Here in a kind of  ‘Game’  just to have all the views and first hand experiences  of existence first hand so to speak and that was it, then back to Heaven.

Four years ago I left my well paid job in Asia and went to live on a tropical island in Thailand, I had two main objectives, one was to heal myself from my crippling addiction and underlying never died depression for which I self medicated with Pot, the other was to understand reality, as well I said to myself, now that I had mastered the LOA I would multiply my money and then I would be free to do whatever I wanted, I wasn’t a bit interested in ‘other people’s experience’ because as Abraham said, their life is ‘their Pie’ never mind what other people decide to put in ‘their Pie’, you mind  your own Pie’, and so I -conveniently- did.

Of all of the Abraham teachings only one thing stood out for me one day, when Abraham said that when we desire something it’s already there 99% of it, we just need to align to make the 1% missing step to get it. This puzzled me extensively because I saw that, if this was true, what did He mean ? But he had explained that what he meant was that the Universe knew better than us what we truly wanted and had already prepared it there for us, we just had to align with it. Still, this sentence stood out of all the teachings as an ‘anomaly’.

When I was on the island I quit Pot and relapsed and quit and relapsed and went on like this for 3 years, every time I relapsed I fell harder into oblivion, it was clear that I had engaged a self destruct mechanism somehow and I just wouldn’t let it go, I wrote lists of my excuses to smoke Pot, did chanting, went on  marijuana Anonymous Forums, took a drug coach from the UK for guidance but the Pot call was always the strongest, I didn’t want to exist, I longed to obliterate myself into non-existence as soon as I could, no matter how many ‘positive thoughts’ I indulged in a day, the hole was always there, ready to swallow me.

This hole was like a black spiral, when I was a kid I faced it every night just before falling asleep, I would feel myself slip away spiralling into the black hole and many times I had to open my eyes and grab the bed trying to not give in to the feeling of being sucked into nothingness.  Me and the black hole had become quite close quite soon in my life experience.

So, during my stay on the dream island I set out to study,  I studied everything I could find on addictions, molecular nutrition, theories about vitamin deficiencies, the unconventional routes and the very unconventional ones, I listened to all the channelers to see if anyone had any clue of why I was such a wreck, At one point I bumped into Bashar as well who said ‘that everything you may think of or desire already exists somewhere’, oh boy, there we went again, so now the doubt of this existence as a maze in which I could only pretend to move and make choices came up again, if I wasn’t really free to think up something or imagine it from scratch because it already existed, where was my creative power all these love and light channelers were bragging about ? Then I was not a creator, I was a human magnet, attracting to myself experiences already thought up and designed in detail by someone else, while others, the poor bastards – as one of my friends boss used to call the ‘ less fortunate’ -, they would have to take the crumbles of our first class choices.

Polarity bothered me, when they introduced the concept of the Quantum Field, where everyone saw this amazing infinite creative power, I saw the limitation of a field, a cosmic soccer field, where everyone was kicking each other around,  limited by the definition of ‘field’  itself, a field cannot be infinite come-on, you can have a very big field, an extremely big field a gigantic field but not, ever, an infinite one, infinity cannot be defined by a field because it’s infinite = not  finite !

Meanwhile wasted time went on, I was using up my money because I was sure I could manifest truckloads being I was soo positive, I would say the right words to everyone at all times, but there was a piece missing about my interaction with others which was my secret mind I could say ‘you look lovely’ and leave out the ‘BITCH” part that went on in my head, in fact the more I wanted to be positive and see only the good, the more my backchat became vicious, I was ashamed of the thoughts that went on in my mind but consoled myself thinking that everyone had them, it was normal, important is to not engage them suppress them deep enough –    which is  like trying to wrestle a thought into the ground for the win, an impossible feat – and you will be fine.

The money wasn’t manifesting though, this was annoying because I had gone to the tropical island with much fanfare about my manifesting a grand future for myself, instead I was living like a shameful recluse pissing my money away and drowning deeper and deeper into my Pot addiction with no solution in sight.

At that time I spent extensive hours on the net, mainly because I was unable to do anything else except going for treatments to all  the island healers trying to keep my elusive balance just enough to be able to exist.

I bumped onto a video of Sunette/Desteni the first time 3 years ago, it was about Demons, it scared the shit out of me and I felt sorry for this girl/boy who was obviously possessed, and moved on.

My researches led me to see that there was something terribly wrong going on with the world that I had never noticed in the years I was away on the Love and Light Cloud, I discovered that cancer cures were suppressed , that our water was fluorinated not for good health but as a poison, that the mercury in our teeth was poisonous to the brain, that the GMO foods whose life cycle chains had been broken lacked nutrition, that sugar and aspartame affected the brain, that vaccines were deliberately contaminated, all of these things came up one after the other until the picture of this world looked so bleak that I wanted to die. it was not just the story, it was the thought that someone BIG must have thought up and designed a sort of  plan against humanity, because these could not be coincidences, one can poison the water by mistake, but not everything we have to use daily including the air, it was the deliberateness of it all that felt disheartening, what had humanity come to for Money ?

While I kept watching you tube for answers each point I opened was worse than the previous one and then I bumped onto a video called ‘who killed Michael Jackson’, it kept coming up until one day I watched it.

That video opened up the whole Illuminati New World story, the satanic worshipping, human sacrifices of children by the Elite, Satan in the Vatican, the Secret Societies, slowly I was paralyzed by fear , because when the story of MK Ultra and Mind Control and Michael Tsarion opened up, I still believed it was about other people out there, people they had access to, the Army, Hollywood, pawns used to harm and deceive but still the magnitude of the design left me feeling minute and powerless and alone, who the fuck would believe this and why is this going on while we are sleeping, why are we sleeping ? Are alcohol and Pot just some other sleeping tools, least we wake up and see how far we have gone into self-destruction and destruction of everything around us ?

At that point another video of Sunette popped up, it was the channeling of Anton Lavey, I had just read about him, because by that point it was clear to me, we were in Hell and nobody knew, better check with the demons worshippers and demons channelers to see what the fuck is going on.

When I watched the first video of Sunette that I could follow to the end,  I realized while she talked about breathing that I could barely breathe, it took me some time to overcome the initial shock and many videos to overcome the Fear because the puzzle completes only ‘when you watch whole of the damn material’, until then the pieces here and there can add to the confusion and to the feeling of hopelessness of this design (so watch the whole damn material before making up your mind).

I had understood that the Matrix was real, not a loving Matrix like the people of Matrix Energetics teach, nope, it was a terrifying web of deceit and lies, everything that I had learnt in my life was a Lie, this was quite a hard story to swallow.

It took me a few months to stabilize, I am quite new to the process but I can say that without this process and the information Desteni provided I would have died either of shame or of Fear or both.

Instead I managed to quit my Pot addiction using Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty and walking this process supporting myself with the example of others that had walked before me and had made it out of their self-destructive behaviours. I am working every day at stopping my participation within me as the Mind and stopping my reactions and blame games by bringing what bothers me back to myself as something I need to address by digging into the root cause of the design to deprogram myself. And I am learning to Breathe, would you believe that we can’t Breathe until someone comes along and points it out to us. I had never really breathed until I met Desteni, never breathed as Me as Breath.

Now I have learnt that all that exists is Self and I am learning how to bring back all the pieces of this broken world to me as me and give myself back to myself, obviously along the way into our creation we made a few miss-takes and we ended up in this pit of suffering and abuse in which we walk around like amnesiacs in a stupor. But we can correct our miss takes by becoming One again, and from that Oneness learn to give Equally to all the parts of ourselves that we have neglected and abused in our race to be winners and in our search for happiness as an experience of ourselves in separation from the whole. This is why we endorse an Equal Money System, in one single agreement we could undo our miss-taken stance of separation, with one true real act of compassion for all the parts of Self we would create heaven on Earth for everyone. This takes a while to see, at the beginning of my process I couldn’t even talk about it, it was just so far away from who I was, I had to close the gap between me the problem and me the solution to be able to see Equal Money=Equality as the solution, to see myself no longer as a wreck but a piece of the solution.

I can say is that I am glad I have found Desteni, I know others will walk the same slippery slope of the Illuminati and the New Wold and feel extensive Fear in separation from what exists Here, what I can say is that when we take back the responsibility of this creation the Fears diminish, the Fears are just bells that re-mind us we can’t have our cake and eat it, we can’t believe we are separate and get a good dandy life, because in separation there is misery and suffering and desire to self-abuse and to abuse others in self-interest.

There is only one road back Home, it’s Oneness and Equality, since I met Desteni I don’t feel as lonely as I used to yet I know I am alone and All One and it’s OK, since I met Desteni my Life is no longer a string of sad stories but a realization, that I can make it back Home because Home is Here, I was the one who left to go somewhere else, off into my Mind Make beliefs and fears, going Home is not a destination but a realization, it’s the Here-ness we left behind where all Life has always existed One and Equal.

Here never moved, Here never left, Here is where Life is and I will myself to be Here as Life, Breath by Breath, One and Equal to everything that exists for myself and All existence Equal and One.

Desteni

Equal Money System