2012: The Physical vs Spirituality, is there a war going on ?

I have been living on and off the ‘redefine Money’ thread, as I have been actively working on closing the Gap between myself and Equal Money and I have now bridged most points  quite efficiently as me, and I enjoy the sharing of this Wonderful New Unifying Concept to people who have not yet come in touch with it.

One thing that has ben happening consistently on the FB threads is the contribution of the spiritual groups, they are fiercely opposed, which is mind-boggling to say the least, for some reasons they fail to see Money as Equality fit quite comfortably  into all their well nurtured beliefs Goodness, helping each others, brothers and sisters, we are Love, the two things just don’t compute satisfactorily.

I want to look at my own experience with the Spirituality movement and how I embraced it for many years and why, as a way to see for myself my own motivations and what were my fears that led me to want and desire to believe in the invisible, discarding even the idea of looking at the physical where there was no effort to be made, nothing to believe, where it was enough to just open my eyes and look.

It started with looking for reasons for this existence, obviously I was not born rich, even though for the living standards of the time in Italy we were well off, my mum with her overtime money at one point even had enough to buy 3 Black and white TVs, we kept one, one went to my great-grandmother and one for my school. I felt very important when the nuns thanked me publicly for what my mum had done, and very proud, I was about to learn that Money could give me value and recognition and I enjoyed the feeling of being the vicarious giver and the acknowledgement that went with it.

As I grew up I realized that there was Inequality in the way people lived, even within my own family, my grandmother for the time we lived in was rich, had a nice big apartment with 2 bathrooms and a huge living room while we lived with my mum in the subsidized government housing. I envied the life my grandparents lived, the no limit life that Money can grant you, the freedom to go to the supermarket and not have a limited amount of money to spend, I liked the splurging, the luxury, the going out to eat at restaurants where I could order as many Cokes as I wanted, until I burst with gas and food.

I even looked down at my mum in contempt, I understood that Money=Value and since she had less, she had obviously less value, not only in my perception of course, this was her perception of herself but as a system I took it on board and made it mine.

My participation in and as the money System grew as I understood that Money buys you privileges, freedom, the ability to be mobile, to have choices, Money was clearly the God of this world, but on the outside I married the secretive attitude we hold about Money, we all know what it is for each one of us, yet nobody talks about it, owns up to it, instead we play it down, we say I don’t care about Money, we want to be noble, above it, beyond it because the fear that we will never ever have it, or never have enough is just too great to be faced.

I recall 3 movies that took on this point quite clearly, one was Indecent Proposal, where a woman in a couple is offered 1 million to have sex with R. Redford and they decide together with the husband to accept, and it destroys them, so this point was morality for sale, another more recent called The Box, where a black box is delivered to a very ordinary, well off, educated American family in the 60′ and they were told that they would have 1 million if they pressed the button on the black box, they were told as well that someone would have to die, but they did not know this person and had never or will never know who he/she was. This movie covered the point of morality, humanity and Life for sale. Did they press the button ? Watch the movie 🙂 But I am sure anyone can guess quite accurately.

The third movie was an Italian movie, very interesting, a man is unemployed and on a social grant for being an invalid, when his social grants are suspended he talks with the grant inspector and tells him, please don’t suspend my grant, yes I faked my invalidity but in a way it’s real, I was a communist and believed in communism for over 20 years until one day I woke up and realized the world I live in, my belief system collapsed, hence I am now invalid, no longer fit for society, so I never really lied you see, if you don’t support me you may be the one that turns me into a criminal, what choices does a mind invalid such as me have left ? But the system doesn’t stand by him and instead the inspector gives him a long speech about Honesty and what it means to be an Honest man, like himself. 8 Years later the Inspector starts to receive anonymous monthly envelopes with Money, big sums, like 20000 euros per month, and it goes on for 10 months. After 10 months the man to whom he had decided to suspend the social grants turns up, he tells him he was the sender of the money, he tells him he is just sharing his wealth and that it was thank to him that he turned into an efficient criminal, he was into selling drugs to children, prostitution of minors, robbing old women, and he had become as ruthless as the criminal life demands, all thanks to him, now it was sharing time. The Inspector said he had not touched a penny since he did not know where the money was coming from, the man told him he still owed him 800000 euro to get to 1 million of euros which was his rightful 10% of the ill earned wealth. The Inspector refused, the wife of the inspector asks to talk to him in private and threatens to leave if he doesn’t take the money, and so, he accepts, for the sake of the peace of the family. Only later the man tells him he had won the money betting every week for 10 years on the Inspector phone number, until the numbers came out, he won 10 million and wanted to give him 10%, but he wanted to show him that he was not as honest as he thought, nobody is, Money has an outwordly allure, we know what Money is connected to and what it could do for us, freedom, choices, no more fears for the future, possibility to share with others having enough for oneself, education for children, healthcare, it’s hard to say NO.

So, at an unconscious level that we play out in movies to show each other that we are just as dishonest as anyone else, as ready to sell out as anyone else, we all know, we KNOW we would make the same choices, Money or God, Money or Love, Money or Spirituality ? No matter what we think about ourselves somewhere inside of us we know what we would choose, Money is a sure bet, it can buy the ‘love’ of this world, meaning company and sex, with Money who needs God, being God just the insurance policy for the poor that have nothing else and Spirituality ? Come on, if you had all the Money in the world, would you mind fuck yourself into oblivion or would you take the round the world cruise, the trip you always wanted, go shopping for a house renovation, you would be the busy body into all the latest trends, the value point was never changed, just suppressed and it would be unleashed into spending frenzies updating your desires as days go by from the new spending power platform.

So Spirituality/God is the best compensation tool for the poor, the second price that has a ‘value’ on the value market, the rich are clever, they accepted to give value to spirituality/God as a noble thing, while they fuck off and enjoy the  Money. There are as well the ones that have too much to live peacefully, guilt and shame kill them but fear prevents them from sharing, so they are stuck between a rock and a hard place and that is the ideal spot for meditation, to quiet the mind, to stop the guilt and shame without having to give up or sharing the lot. And a great place to become Spiritual as a justification of WHY we don’t need to share or care without feeling guilty, it’s unrequired since all it’s just an illusion, we are energy in movement, information and patterns floating in space, All One already. I have been in both places myself.

For those that don’t have access to what they desired and for those that fear and are shocked by this reality we can say Spirituality is just another coping mechanism, a way to justify why the world is as it is, because if we dig back in time, we all have been asking ourselves this question, having been products of an abusive system that may have more or less touched us, scarred us and scared us, we know of the abuse that is going on, we have questioned it and when we came out of the questioning as “Spiritual Ones’ we have just simply, by default, given up substance and our ability to make any substantial change to the world system as me,  reality as me, One and Equal, as myself being the abused and abuser in a system that is not designed in benevolence, no matter how hard we try to believe it, a thin line of doubt will always run through our beliefs, what if this was all bullshit ? The question stays alive and kicking.

So when we start to expose the Equal Money system for what it is, an Equalizing tool to level the playfield for All,  exposing the hidden suppressed desire or guilt and shame of the Spiritual Ones, the fears and the resolve of never going back to look in self honesty at the point of Money and how we have already sold out long ago, resistance comes up. I am almost sure that many of them are not aware of what is the exact point they are yet unable to reconcile, it’s buried deep and the digging is not desirable not even for What is Best for All, let sleeping dog lie.

Those that don’t have enough probably fear of even “hoping” that a change may indeed be possible, they have worked so hard at accepting the mediocrity of their penniless reality that they would have to redefine reality by looking at their hidden fears again and expose them to themselves and that is bloody scary, yes they had been preaching Equality of some sort all their life, while they battled and suppressed their desires for ‘more’, their hopes to be finally one day ‘more Equal’ having accepted their Equal – Minus place in the world system as ‘the way things are’.  Wouldn’t then a system of Equal giving, a for-giving system be the absolute match to their belief system ? The physical representation lived in the practical of what spirituality is all about ?
The recognition of One Common essence, Life, running through all of us as Breath, One and Equal  and therefore the Equal right to sharing what the planet is giving for All ?

Instead This is not happening, consistently, I should add.  The reason is pretty clear, if I was never an Equal to start with, pretending to be more because I was not materialistic while all the while I suppressed my own self judgement of inferiority as a non achiever and a loser, I cannot conceive Equality as me because I was never an Equal to start with, I was just deluding myself inside a polarity between have and have-nots that made me suffer and I managed to leave behind.

Ultimately, that leads to Spirituality, there is a fear of death, the looking for an answer, a purpose, a reason to make sense of this Life experience, there must be a sense, what is the reason, why are we here ? And off we go with the stories, energy, consciousness, spirit, the afterlife, it’s just a ride, passing through, life is but the batting of eyelids, a moment in eternity and the list goes on infinitely to diminish the physical experience and make it unsubstantial. We survive embracing heavenly gossips and hear say of the ones that say they can see beyond the veil and either wrote or spoke about it, we failed to notice that none of them is looking beyond the same veil, because no afterlife report is equal to another one, we discount such earthly points like “lack of common sense” given that reporting should be Equal from whichever angle you look at something but just considering an added perspective, and not a complete reversal of stories, characters, paths and processes, just because WE WANT TO BELIEVE THERE IS VALUE IN THIS EARTHLY EXPERIENCE and we ended up hanging on to whatever fitted us best, whatever we saw could uplift us the most out of the physical reality of suffering and abuse.

So, where is the value of the earthly experience? If it’s in the AFterlife, we may have been had, didn’t they say As ABove So Below ?  This statement is pretty consistent across teachings so what makes us believe that unless we correct what is HERE, the AfterHere should be better ?

If the Below sucks, who can swear by the Godliness and Heavenlyness of the ABove ? What if the Above is Us without the Body, the Breath, what is in fact making Us Real and not imaginary thoughts and information floating in space ? What if the Physical was supposed to be Heaven Equal for All before the After can be heavenly lived  by All Equally?

Now this is a point that hurts. We spent our Lives wanting to believe in the benevolence of this Universe, this was the hardest point for me to let go, my idea of benevolence,  it still brought up tears just now, because benevolence as creation had to include me and my own benevolence, I was born good from a loving Creator, it was living that fucked me up.

Yesterday I saw a post on FB that made me want to reply, but I refrained because I felt anger and I had to address that anger first, the post was of a naked woman with one breast that survived cancer and the title was ‘Isn’t God good ?’ No, actually God is not good and if we use this example as God saving her then we must think he gave her cancer in the first place, if God created everything we have looong lists of very questionable creations that need explaining, so delusions in our attempt to hold on to an idea of benevolence are rampant and the hardest to let go, for me this was a key point to allow myself to face reality and there were many hidden and disguised points all around the same theme that came up for a while and I had to address consistently, regardless the fact that my self realization of reality started from precisely  this point.

When I joined Desteni my perception of myself had already shattered, I was on a mind overload, I was full of knowledge and information, you named it, I knew about it, heard about it, read about it, no practical application of anything, by that time I was on my knees with a self-created crippling addiction to Pot, my drug of choice to numb myself out of reality, and unable to hold any further delusion about myself, spirituality, LOA, Matrix Energetics, Quantum Physics and the Goodness ad benevolence of this experience and of the HereAfter.

The slippery slope started with the Conspiracy theorists, I bumped on some information about cure for cancer, and found that a few had claimed to be able to cure it and had been persecuted, isolated and threatened and some killed, from there the Benevolence of a planet in which I participated with my cancer research support, charity balls, upholding the benevolence of Humanity and all that bullshit just came tumbling down like a castle of cards.

There was no benevolence I could still see in a world where we kill each other, abuse each other, withhold a cure for a deadly disease, rape, torture, poisoning of food, water, Big Pharma, mind control of  humanity for consumerism, tied each other down through an economic system of enslavement, the Borgia would be shocked to see how far we took their teachings of manipulation and power crimes. Humanity was in a state of mess, spirituality became just another obvious delusion in the face of a Profit driven world that I had fully embraced and learnt how to make it work, for me.

So benevolence of the system was the first point to go (on the surface) and then benevolence of me as a proficient system participant went next. Desteni already knew all of this, I did not have to crawl there and confess that I was just as non benevolent as the rest of the world, they did not care for crawling Human beings, they cared for those that would stand up from the crash of the acknowledgement of their abusive inner nature and would stand up for what is best for All, they were putting together people who had self realized a need for self correction and offered tools to walk a process of undoing the participation in and as the system of abuse to rewrite a program of Oneness and Equality that would work under the principle of What is Best for All.

There is no guidance in this process but a Self Honest approach to where one stands in need for correction and how to go about it, no one can self correct on our behalf, we put the shit in our Minds and charged it with emotions and feelings and breathed it into Life as the Breath of Existence, we are the only ones that can undo it, this creation is the representation of our inner worlds, of what we have accepted and allowed One and Equal to ourselves, each one of us is a living Hell as a self-imposed judgement within a debt system for the creation of separation and having taken it so far.

We are releasing Self Judgement as who we are, it’s in our self judgement as the Court that condemned us and others to such existence that this world has taken Life from our Breath into existence, we’ll have to breathe it back, self correct it and re-breathe it and rebirth it into Life, there is no way out of this but to walk backward what we have birthed into existence.

The All There Is is HERE, this is it, nothing exists but us, nothing will correct us but ourselves, it’s time to let go of our delusions, It’s Bad For Ya, as George Carlin said, but in fact it’s bad for all of us, this is the price of Oneness, we are tied to each other in this self-destructive stance, we have condemned each other to a Life of starvation while we starve ourselves, from Life, from being all that we could have been, from being One and Equal instead than separated in 7 billion little pieces, and now in Oneness we’ll have to wait for each piece to catch up, to bring back the Wholeness of Oneness, and this can only happen through Equality, Unequal pieces cannot fit the puzzle, and until we stand up for Equality the world stands as the big damn puzzler we have become.

Unravel yourself to become an Equal so you too may stand as the solution to what the world is and the correction that is needed to manifest a new world, drop spirituality, drop anything that prevents you from seeing that unless you make yourself an Equal, we’ll have to wait for you and this process will be delayed and we will have to suffer more just for that one piece that was not willing to realign and come back to Equality.

Equality  is the way Home, we have to move slowly to allow all the pieces to catch up, to allow Equal chances for the necessary Self realization that we are in fact in a process of correction, making a U-turn, steering the wheel from Inequality to Equality, from Separation to Oneness, You are not the Mind as Thoughts Emotions and Feelings, This is NOT who you are, unless you insist on believing it, or you could in one Breath realize that you are Life, Equal and One, please try,  Breathe, Realize Who You Are, so we may all go Home.

To know more about the Tool we see could jump start us into Equality visit

Equal Money

For free self support in unraveling yourself

Desteni

To support the Equal Life Foundation

Eqafe

Exposing Human Programming : why we buy what we buy, really ?

Today I am still staying at the apartment that is being refurbished, there is no more a kitchen and one bathroom has been demolished and the other not finished yet, somehow it resembles how I feel about myself at the moment, a work in progress but mainly at demolition phase, not so pleasant. I have kept myself busy today spray painting some old iron chairs that were rusty, I like spray painting, usually I spray paint everything in silver colour because I like shiny objects and I like silver more than gold, proof that I am not a reptilian, one good point here 🙂

It’s been interesting to stay here because this house that somehow is mirroring my process of demolition of me, the Ego, has been a humbling experience, living with nothing almost for someone like me who was always so particular about everything is interesting, for 10 days now I have been wearing practical mismatched cotton clothes and pink crocs, which are anatema in Italy as they have been nationally declared the ugliest shoes ever made, so there we go, I am still here 🙂

I have become aware that I shop for value and not for need and so within the Desteni process that I am walking I have decided to see if I can deconstruct the advertisement world and disconnect it from my mind by looking at it mercilessly for what it is, a big fat lie that plays on my and our insecurities and desires to have some experiences or worth through the ‘act of buying’ useless stuff or even when not useless, like food, to buy a story that goes with it.

So, the walls in Milan at the moment are covered with an AD that I found very irritating from the first time I saw it, it still makes me react, Müller – Fate l’amore con il sapore (yogurt) , it says Make love with Taste. The first time I saw it I thought that the woman wasn’t wearing panties, and therefore in that position it must have been a delight for the photographer, this was a weird thought that came up but then I saw that if it came up for me it must come up for others as well,  men too, it is designed to come up, it is designed to connect SEX and a yougurt 🙂 Because SEX sells, so one point that I have started to notice is that many things are sold through images or hints of SEX either in explicit pictures like this one or other more subtle ones or in the sentences that are used to recall pictures in the mind. Personally this one doesn’t do much for me as wanting to buy that particular yougurt but the point of SEX is obvious, I’m not triggered just because I’ve not been sexual for a few months, have given up pornography and my participation within it and so the triggers are not so strong or maybe because she is a woman, not sure, anyway this one is definitely NOT working, if I look at the irritation point I think it’s because I find it somehow offensive, for women, debasing, so I will look into it and apply SF for this reaction because there must be a judgement in me of what is appropriate and what isn’t and this one isn’t.

Then I went and read some forums on advertising, one of the most famous we have in Italy is for pasta, Barilla to be precise, they have hired Young and Rubicam long time ago to do all their spots. Their spots are BIG triggers for me, they always depict happy families, fairytales images of peaceful living next to a windmill, running on grass barefoot within nature, they produce everything, from pasta to biscuits, to bread, to Healthy food with mixed cereals. Their sub brand that manufactures the sweet stuff it’s called the White Windmill, even in the name, WHITE, triggers in me this sense of neat and clean, of ‘proper living’ as life should be, happy people living in a windmill and eating sweet food, big bullshit.

‘where there is Barilla there is Home’

So, HOME, is something I buy into, the idea of belonging somewhere, mother in the kitchen baking biscuits, everything natural, everyone happy.

When I went on the Forum about this particular series of ads depicting ‘happy families’ someone asked in a thread ‘Why is Barilla always using images of Happy families?’ the answers were amazing, just 2 people said because they use what sells, the others said things like “I love to see happy families’ or ‘ would you rather they used the father that beats the mother and the children crying ?’ which I thought was particularly interesting and another said ‘better watch the Barilla happy family than the reality we live in’ and another said ‘would you like to see a divorced couple fighting for alimony instead ?’ and so I saw that I join a long line of people who actually would rather see the happy family even though most of us understand that THIS IS NOT REAL, it’s just that reality and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become simply sucks and we don’t want to face it.

Then I took down some ad key phrases that have become well known in Italy and we all know what they are about:

Adidas (sport wear) – Impossible is nothing

Amaro Averna – Il gusto pieno della vita (digestive – The Full Taste of Life)

Dove c’è Barilla c’è casa (pasta) – Where there is Barilla there is Home

Chivas Regal Il più regale dei whisky – Chivas regal, the most Regal of wiskies (this one plays on our desire to be special, to be regal, above others who are just commoners)

Colgate – Ti spunta un fiore in bocca (toothpaste – a flower blooms in your mouth, which is obviously impossible but with the flower they give us the image of freshness and beauty and desirable, even though the flower is born from manure but this is a detail we all miss within this ad)

Control: liberi di amarsi col cuore (condoms – free to love one another with heart – this one is great, sells both sex and Love in one go, this one is appealing to me as a system)

Cornetto Algida. Cuore di panna (ice cream – a Heart of Cream – so heart = love plus the smoothiness of the cream – appealing)

De Beers- Un diamante è per sempre (diamonds – a diamond is forever, now this is very interesting, with this we buy eternity, the diamond will live long after we are dead, so this plays into desire to live forever, fear of death at a more unconscious level, beating death, appealing)

Elah – La dolcezza cambia il mondo (candies – Sweetness changes the world, this is pretty clear, we buy  into the desire to change the world by eating a candy, which is way easier than having to face oneself in self honesty and self forgiveness)

Chi mi ama mi segua Jesus Jeans – Non avrai altro jeans all’infuori di me

This is Jesus jeans, this ad is old, it became very famous because the Catholic church asked that it be removed as blasfemy which made it even more famous, maybe the Vatican owns the Brand ? 🙂

This ad says ‘who loves me should follow me’ , this ad sells a LOT of stuff, it sells sex, love and Jesus too for good measure, not appealing to me but for sure had its fans

L’Oréal – Perché io valgo (cosmetics) – Because I’m worth it !, They still use this catch phrase, this sells because it appeals to people who have come to accept and believe they are not worthy, like me, so this one is appealing to me the system, always was, still is somehow.

Che cosa vuoi di più dalla vita?  Amaro Lucano – Voglio il meglio (digestive – interesting we make so many digestives,or bitters, obviously we overeat but this is not a problem since we can fix it with a digestive. Digestive are alcholics but they do not carry the same stigma of other superalcholics because they are ‘digestives’ which implys they have a ‘medical reason’ to be and to be ingested, so it’s not an act of indulgence but a proper prescribed ‘remedy’ to help digestion, they are sweet and bitter at the same time, a proper liver tonic :), the ad says ‘What do you want more from life – I want the Best’, this is a very popular take on everything that is sold in Italy, the best, we do everything better, a few years ago we made a tee shirt saying ‘Italians do it better’ so this rings deep at a cultural level, and it’s something we exploit when we go abroad, we take this belief with us, this was actually a belief instilled to make us feel more than others because due to large migration problems after the first world war where we had to go everywhere to simply survive and were seen as the ‘immigrants’and thus felt less than the ones who did not need to migrate we needed a National boost that came in this form, through Fashion and other manufacturing industries we bought into this belief to balance out our belief that we were inferior and had to migrate for survival. I have seen the same beliefs among Irish and Chinese, both migrants population, – appealing to me as the system)

Ci sono cose che non si possono comprare, per tutto il resto c’è Mastercard (credit card – There are things one cannot buy, for all the rest there is Mastercard – very appealing to me as the system for many reasons , one is the fake belief that there are things that one cannot buy, this spells integrity, something we obviously don’t have since Money can buy anything including lives, body parts, people’s dignity and pretty much everything else, second the power of being able to ‘buy ‘all the rest’ I have seen myself feel a thrill when I put the ATM card in the distribtor and money comes out, THAT action is charged all by itself with lots of stuff, including the sheer pleasure of seeing money coming out of a wall, very empowering, so this is a very charged ad for me)

Con Nelsen Piatti li vuol lavare lui (dishwasher soap – with Nelsen Dishes, He is the one that wants to do the dishes, another example of pure bullshit because men in Italy DON’T DO THE DISHES, no matter what brand of dish washing soap one buys, so this appeals to the desire of women that with this brand he actually might, not particularly appealing to me because I have a dishwasher but I can see the trigger clearly)

Nokia – Connecting people (phones – desire to connect and not be lonely and isolated, fear of isolation)

Pirelli – La potenza è nulla senza controllo. (tyres – Power is nothing without Control – this is very interesting and more appealing to men I guess because they are the ones buying tyres, it’s a play on words, because they pretend to mean it that the tyres give you the control over the car but as well they give you Control and Power)

Rocchetta – Puliti dentro, belli fuori (mineral water – clean inside, beautiful outside – clean inside, because we are dirty and then the desire to be beautiful outside – appealing)

Sector – No limits (watches – self explanatory, desire to be able to do anything and everything believing that one cannot)

Una telefonata allunga la vita (Phone company – One phone call lenghtens Life, desire to live longer)

Standa – La casa degli italiani (Shopping Centre – the Home of Italians, playing on the desire for a Home, family and then nationalism)

TIM- Vivere senza confini (Mobile phone company – To Life without boundaries , as opposed to all the boundaries we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live within, so desire for freedom as we perceive ourselves to NOT be free)

Vecchia RomagnaEtichetta Nera – Il brandy che crea l’atmosfera  (brandy – The Brandy that creates an atmosphere, so desire to have a certain atmosphere to live in, a certain lifestyle, not a Life, just a lifestyle)

Vodafone – Life is now! (Mobile phones – playing on our fear that we may be dead so they remind us we are NOT and Life is now – appealing)

Y10. Piace alla gente che piace (car – Liked by the people that are liked – desire to be liked by others, to be among the ones that are liked and not the ones that are dis-liked, desire for value – appealing)

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the desire for a home and a happy family that lives in the White Windmill in the middle of nature without a care in the world

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the irritation I feel when I see pictures of women used to sell products that I judge as debasing for fear that their debasement is my own debasement reflected back to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m the desire to be worthy because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own worth as me as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that Italian products are more worthy than other products because I was told so and never questioned it because I enjoyed being more than others as a manufacturer of better products

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the thrill I feel everytime I get money out of the ATM machine because I have allowed myself to accept and believe that a human being’s worth is based on its access to the money system

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to buy anything and everything with a credit card because being able to use a credit card gives me value

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I’m the value I get by using a credit card instead of seeing that I look for value utside of myself because I have allowed and accepted myself to separate myself from value as me as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that being able to participate in buying gives me value because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from me as value as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to be liked by others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the desire to be liked by others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I can be triggered into buying to give myself value instead I see I can stop myself and see there is no value in buying anything, I will only buy what I need or want as a treat no longer for the purpose of adding value to myself but as self directive principle

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that shopping is a desirable part of life instead I see that Life needs no shopping to exist, Life just is

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to buy things that appeal to my fear of death or to my desire to live longer for fear of dying

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the fear of dying, I am not the fear of dying, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical, I stand, I am Here, I am One and Equal