2012 The LOA and the Illuminati led me to Desteni

My story of how I came to Desteni is a bit convoluted because I started as a staunch follower of Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction and for years I had disciplined myself to ‘think positively’ and to repress and suppress the negative thoughts – because they never really, went away, buggers – and I used Pot as well to push them down deeper because I wanted so much to believe the story that the Universe is a loving place and we were given an emotional guidance system as a sign of such loving force.

I had to battle a few common sense questions at the beginning which were: if this is the Truth of reality, why doesn’t everybody know about it, why is it a Secret, why don’t we teach it in school and now to the hungry people so they can get food and whatever they need ?

Through ‘my belief’ in the Law of attraction I had some success, at least I believed it was because of the LOA and not by my personal investment, obviously the system is designed to reward happy slaves and not grumpy ones, so by my ‘forced happiness’ I managed to get myself good jobs and a good life while I kept at bay all my friends with a ‘negative attitude’ in fear to be contaminated and having to lose the touch of Grace that I had with much struggle, built for myself.

This was another point that I questioned about existence, it seemed to me that everyone had had traumatized  lives, when everyone would participate in what Carolyn Miss defined as woundology, the wounds of the others never seemed so much better than mine, so this other question of an existence of suffering was something I suppressed because I could not find a logical answer to this, why would a loving Universe have people born and traumatized, really, what was the point that I was missing ?

The teachings of Abraham anyway always made sense to me, I made them make sense because they did  in fact make me feel better, by uplifting me out of my own responsibility for this world, One and Equal to me, I embraced the belief that we all came to experience something Here in a kind of  ‘Game’  just to have all the views and first hand experiences  of existence first hand so to speak and that was it, then back to Heaven.

Four years ago I left my well paid job in Asia and went to live on a tropical island in Thailand, I had two main objectives, one was to heal myself from my crippling addiction and underlying never died depression for which I self medicated with Pot, the other was to understand reality, as well I said to myself, now that I had mastered the LOA I would multiply my money and then I would be free to do whatever I wanted, I wasn’t a bit interested in ‘other people’s experience’ because as Abraham said, their life is ‘their Pie’ never mind what other people decide to put in ‘their Pie’, you mind  your own Pie’, and so I -conveniently- did.

Of all of the Abraham teachings only one thing stood out for me one day, when Abraham said that when we desire something it’s already there 99% of it, we just need to align to make the 1% missing step to get it. This puzzled me extensively because I saw that, if this was true, what did He mean ? But he had explained that what he meant was that the Universe knew better than us what we truly wanted and had already prepared it there for us, we just had to align with it. Still, this sentence stood out of all the teachings as an ‘anomaly’.

When I was on the island I quit Pot and relapsed and quit and relapsed and went on like this for 3 years, every time I relapsed I fell harder into oblivion, it was clear that I had engaged a self destruct mechanism somehow and I just wouldn’t let it go, I wrote lists of my excuses to smoke Pot, did chanting, went on  marijuana Anonymous Forums, took a drug coach from the UK for guidance but the Pot call was always the strongest, I didn’t want to exist, I longed to obliterate myself into non-existence as soon as I could, no matter how many ‘positive thoughts’ I indulged in a day, the hole was always there, ready to swallow me.

This hole was like a black spiral, when I was a kid I faced it every night just before falling asleep, I would feel myself slip away spiralling into the black hole and many times I had to open my eyes and grab the bed trying to not give in to the feeling of being sucked into nothingness.  Me and the black hole had become quite close quite soon in my life experience.

So, during my stay on the dream island I set out to study,  I studied everything I could find on addictions, molecular nutrition, theories about vitamin deficiencies, the unconventional routes and the very unconventional ones, I listened to all the channelers to see if anyone had any clue of why I was such a wreck, At one point I bumped into Bashar as well who said ‘that everything you may think of or desire already exists somewhere’, oh boy, there we went again, so now the doubt of this existence as a maze in which I could only pretend to move and make choices came up again, if I wasn’t really free to think up something or imagine it from scratch because it already existed, where was my creative power all these love and light channelers were bragging about ? Then I was not a creator, I was a human magnet, attracting to myself experiences already thought up and designed in detail by someone else, while others, the poor bastards – as one of my friends boss used to call the ‘ less fortunate’ -, they would have to take the crumbles of our first class choices.

Polarity bothered me, when they introduced the concept of the Quantum Field, where everyone saw this amazing infinite creative power, I saw the limitation of a field, a cosmic soccer field, where everyone was kicking each other around,  limited by the definition of ‘field’  itself, a field cannot be infinite come-on, you can have a very big field, an extremely big field a gigantic field but not, ever, an infinite one, infinity cannot be defined by a field because it’s infinite = not  finite !

Meanwhile wasted time went on, I was using up my money because I was sure I could manifest truckloads being I was soo positive, I would say the right words to everyone at all times, but there was a piece missing about my interaction with others which was my secret mind I could say ‘you look lovely’ and leave out the ‘BITCH” part that went on in my head, in fact the more I wanted to be positive and see only the good, the more my backchat became vicious, I was ashamed of the thoughts that went on in my mind but consoled myself thinking that everyone had them, it was normal, important is to not engage them suppress them deep enough –    which is  like trying to wrestle a thought into the ground for the win, an impossible feat – and you will be fine.

The money wasn’t manifesting though, this was annoying because I had gone to the tropical island with much fanfare about my manifesting a grand future for myself, instead I was living like a shameful recluse pissing my money away and drowning deeper and deeper into my Pot addiction with no solution in sight.

At that time I spent extensive hours on the net, mainly because I was unable to do anything else except going for treatments to all  the island healers trying to keep my elusive balance just enough to be able to exist.

I bumped onto a video of Sunette/Desteni the first time 3 years ago, it was about Demons, it scared the shit out of me and I felt sorry for this girl/boy who was obviously possessed, and moved on.

My researches led me to see that there was something terribly wrong going on with the world that I had never noticed in the years I was away on the Love and Light Cloud, I discovered that cancer cures were suppressed , that our water was fluorinated not for good health but as a poison, that the mercury in our teeth was poisonous to the brain, that the GMO foods whose life cycle chains had been broken lacked nutrition, that sugar and aspartame affected the brain, that vaccines were deliberately contaminated, all of these things came up one after the other until the picture of this world looked so bleak that I wanted to die. it was not just the story, it was the thought that someone BIG must have thought up and designed a sort of  plan against humanity, because these could not be coincidences, one can poison the water by mistake, but not everything we have to use daily including the air, it was the deliberateness of it all that felt disheartening, what had humanity come to for Money ?

While I kept watching you tube for answers each point I opened was worse than the previous one and then I bumped onto a video called ‘who killed Michael Jackson’, it kept coming up until one day I watched it.

That video opened up the whole Illuminati New World story, the satanic worshipping, human sacrifices of children by the Elite, Satan in the Vatican, the Secret Societies, slowly I was paralyzed by fear , because when the story of MK Ultra and Mind Control and Michael Tsarion opened up, I still believed it was about other people out there, people they had access to, the Army, Hollywood, pawns used to harm and deceive but still the magnitude of the design left me feeling minute and powerless and alone, who the fuck would believe this and why is this going on while we are sleeping, why are we sleeping ? Are alcohol and Pot just some other sleeping tools, least we wake up and see how far we have gone into self-destruction and destruction of everything around us ?

At that point another video of Sunette popped up, it was the channeling of Anton Lavey, I had just read about him, because by that point it was clear to me, we were in Hell and nobody knew, better check with the demons worshippers and demons channelers to see what the fuck is going on.

When I watched the first video of Sunette that I could follow to the end,  I realized while she talked about breathing that I could barely breathe, it took me some time to overcome the initial shock and many videos to overcome the Fear because the puzzle completes only ‘when you watch whole of the damn material’, until then the pieces here and there can add to the confusion and to the feeling of hopelessness of this design (so watch the whole damn material before making up your mind).

I had understood that the Matrix was real, not a loving Matrix like the people of Matrix Energetics teach, nope, it was a terrifying web of deceit and lies, everything that I had learnt in my life was a Lie, this was quite a hard story to swallow.

It took me a few months to stabilize, I am quite new to the process but I can say that without this process and the information Desteni provided I would have died either of shame or of Fear or both.

Instead I managed to quit my Pot addiction using Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty and walking this process supporting myself with the example of others that had walked before me and had made it out of their self-destructive behaviours. I am working every day at stopping my participation within me as the Mind and stopping my reactions and blame games by bringing what bothers me back to myself as something I need to address by digging into the root cause of the design to deprogram myself. And I am learning to Breathe, would you believe that we can’t Breathe until someone comes along and points it out to us. I had never really breathed until I met Desteni, never breathed as Me as Breath.

Now I have learnt that all that exists is Self and I am learning how to bring back all the pieces of this broken world to me as me and give myself back to myself, obviously along the way into our creation we made a few miss-takes and we ended up in this pit of suffering and abuse in which we walk around like amnesiacs in a stupor. But we can correct our miss takes by becoming One again, and from that Oneness learn to give Equally to all the parts of ourselves that we have neglected and abused in our race to be winners and in our search for happiness as an experience of ourselves in separation from the whole. This is why we endorse an Equal Money System, in one single agreement we could undo our miss-taken stance of separation, with one true real act of compassion for all the parts of Self we would create heaven on Earth for everyone. This takes a while to see, at the beginning of my process I couldn’t even talk about it, it was just so far away from who I was, I had to close the gap between me the problem and me the solution to be able to see Equal Money=Equality as the solution, to see myself no longer as a wreck but a piece of the solution.

I can say is that I am glad I have found Desteni, I know others will walk the same slippery slope of the Illuminati and the New Wold and feel extensive Fear in separation from what exists Here, what I can say is that when we take back the responsibility of this creation the Fears diminish, the Fears are just bells that re-mind us we can’t have our cake and eat it, we can’t believe we are separate and get a good dandy life, because in separation there is misery and suffering and desire to self-abuse and to abuse others in self-interest.

There is only one road back Home, it’s Oneness and Equality, since I met Desteni I don’t feel as lonely as I used to yet I know I am alone and All One and it’s OK, since I met Desteni my Life is no longer a string of sad stories but a realization, that I can make it back Home because Home is Here, I was the one who left to go somewhere else, off into my Mind Make beliefs and fears, going Home is not a destination but a realization, it’s the Here-ness we left behind where all Life has always existed One and Equal.

Here never moved, Here never left, Here is where Life is and I will myself to be Here as Life, Breath by Breath, One and Equal to everything that exists for myself and All existence Equal and One.

Desteni

Equal Money System

How were we created ? God, Universe, Matrix ? Ready for the Truth ?

Have you ever wondered what is the Truth about our creation ?

Haven’t you found strange that such a simple fact seems to have been interpreted in so many different ways ?

Why isn’t there 1 truth about our Creation that we all share, no matter where we were born ?

Can the Truth be Geographically biased or impaired and therefore more True in some places than in others ?

Some people believe in Adam and Eve and the 7 days creation, some in a giant turtle holding the world while floating in space, some in the Universe, some are Evolutionists.

If there was 1 Creation how can we have so many myths about it, why not 1 similar story we all share across cultures ?

Are we the image and likeness of a loving Creator in a world where suffering and famine and abuse rule supreme ?

What if  we were just pawns in a giant Matrix design ?

Was the Creation story deliberately withheld from Humanity and if so why ?

If you are looking for real answers you’ll find everything you have ever wondered about at our Equality Space, time to Stand up for Life,  join us.

Desteni.org

Eqafe

The Structural Resonance was a mathematical geometrically equated structural design which manifested as the systems which beings had become.

Veno explains: What is structural resonance and how are you able to assist yourself, working with it?

This video-series consists of 9 video-interviews:

  1. The design of humans by Annunaki and other races
  2. The development of unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind
  3. Relationships and subconscious mind development
  4. Conscious mind development and system parasites
  5. Mind-control, implants and preprogrammed life
  6. The conscious mind, thoughts and personality activation
  7. Relationships and subconscious mind development
  8. The secret of self-support
  9. The secret of self-direction

Why do we Fear Self Honesty ?

I was evaluating the possibility of furthering my education in management and have been looking into the Kaizen system and I was led to this site on lean management where I found this article

“The Psychology of Lean Management

By : Michael Ballé

When was the last time you remember thinking “I was wrong about this”? Yesterday? Last week? Never? Let’s conduct a short thought experiment: force yourself to think of an instance, any instance, where you were clearly wrong. How does it feel? Are you already lining up the mitigating circumstances (anyone would have done the same in this situation / that’s who I am)? Or the upsides (in the end, it’s a good thing that I was wrong because I’ve learned / cleared the air/ made things move, etc.)? If you are, don’t worry: this is perfectly normal and a sign of sanity. Only the clinically depressed are truly honest about themselves.

Psychology-lean-management

I found this astonishing, the last sentence a revelation about a point I am facing regarding my walk of self honesty to see and point out to myself what I need to address in self for-giveness to give myself back to myself so I can start to rewrite myself in alignment with what is best for All.

The reason why I found this quote particularly disturbing is that I like to believe that many are not aware of being dishonest, I prefer this view of the world, I find it a sort of comfort to think that I am a liar and a cheater by my own design and admission but there are others that are not, the world is not as bad as me after all, there is still hope.

This point is particularly relevant because I have been struggling to write lately while I can see I should instead push myself through this point because just in the sentence above I see so many things worth looking at about myself.

First, my desire to still hang on to delusions about the inherent goodness of humanity, this one is a hard one to die as I had made this point a big justification flag for myself and others to not have to change by accepting and allowing within me the beLIEf that we were all good at heart and just got mislead by our history, life, past relationship, culture and religion and within this accepting and allowing myself to believe that change for humankind is actually out of the question, supporting with this mine and others inability to change.

Second the point that I am a liar and a cheater but others are not, they are better than me and this stems for sure from my past acceptance of the catholics beliefs of us sinners of which just recently I heard again one of the prayers we were taught that said ‘My lord, I am not worthy to sit at your table, but if you say just one word I will be saved’, we repeated this bullshit by heart so many times, every day as it was part of our education, so we allowed and accepted ourselves  to believe in ourselves as not only less than the Lord, a belief that I moved with ease from Heaven to earth as every time i heard someone name preceded by ‘Lord’ I would take a step down in the human ladder to make space for the worthy ones, but I believed as well that my words were powerless, which then led me to use them uselessly and carelessly causing much harm while I dwelled in my self-appointed lower rings of the Heavenly and Human race.

Third my desire for hope, I wish I still had some, even now that I realize it is useless it was a good feeling word, I miss the good solace I took for myself from the useless words I invested of the power to uplift me from my self-created misery, I miss love as well, the word charge that is no longer there, the pictures I could sum up in my mind to depict the ultimate state of grace, I am going through a phase of lack of sense in opposition to my more habitual sense of lack.

This article that I found opened up a huge point, which is, not only humanity as a whole is aware of its own dishonesty, systems of management have been written specifically to manage this point, so our acceptance and allowance of our inability to change our devious ways has become an external system of management, we manage our inability to change, basically we have long given up on ourselves and found ways to just cope with what we have allowed and accepted ourselves to believe we are, talk about self-respect, that one must have gone much earlier than our efforts to manage our diminished selves were put in place, if we ever had any to begin with.

If we have come to the conclusion that we are hopeless and unable to change, the last sentence of the paragraph I quoted makes total sense, we came to this conclusion: when you are self dishonest ” If you are, don’t worry: this is perfectly normal and a sign of sanity. Only the clinically depressed are truly honest about themselves.”.

So basically, what I am trying so desperately to avoid when I resist writing is to go into that place, the place of insanity where self honesty lives that makes people ‘clinically depressed’ , because I fear mental problems, because there have been undiagnosed mental problems in my family, because my mother was clinically depressed outside of a clinic and she had a pretty clear view, almost self honest about herself, and because I fear depression, I fear self honesty because I have accepted and allowed myself to connect self honesty to depression.

So, why are the self honest people ‘clinically depressed’ ?

Because in self honesty we have to look at this world, at our creation and no longer having any tangible proof of a messy or merciful God, we’ll have to admit we have done this, we have created this mess and now we rather lie and cheat than admit it and face it because we extensively fear facing our own creation.

Pity we miss out on the point that the burden of responsibility has another face, which is the power to change, the power to decide that if I have created all this, I can change it, I don’t need to be depressed about it, because I was depressed until now and this is exactly what I was lying about, I lied about the fact that everything was good and dandy when it was not, I lied to myself about inequality being just the way the system works instead of asking myself the uncomfortable questions that ended up leading me to Desteni to discover An inconvenient Truth.

But then again, a truth that is inconvenient means nothing, means only that is just no longer convenient to uphold, it was convenient for me when I was looking for the buzz of the good feeling trip through the world, but now that I have given up the importance of good or bad feelings and emotions (not the practice completely but walking toward it) I no longer need the convenience of a Truth that is not True.

The truth is we are Creators, no matter what role we are apparently playing in this world, we are all Equally responsible for it, we say that Equality doesn’t exist yet on this planet but in fact it exists already in our common shared responsibility for our creation, it exists because we and our creation are both Here, waiting to meet, we are already Equal in responsibility, we just need to acknowledge that to become Equal in the Power to change it and then the step to Equality on Earth won’t seem so far away to walk anymore.

Equal Quality for All Life = E-Quality, when Equality will become a manifested reality we’ll have to rewrite our management systems to match the Human Beings we will become, if we take away the controls we had to design to overcome our dishonest nature, which now constitute up  to 60% of the Lean Management theory, we will be left  with a real Lean management practice !

We can change, we can decide to stand up for Life and realign to What is best for All, because what is Best for All is ultimately best for each one of us !

If you are interested in understanding more of what we are doing at Desteni, visit our website at

Desteni.org

support the Equal Life Foundation and an Equal Money System at

Equalmoney.org

To learn how we were created and then created ourselves into what we are today check out

The Structural Resonance was a mathematical geometrically equated structural design which manifested as the systems which beings had become.

Veno explains: What is structural resonance and how are you able to assist yourself, working with it?

This video-series consists of 9 video-interviews:

  1. The design of humans by Annunaki and other races
  2. The development of unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind
  3. Relationships and subconscious mind development
  4. Conscious mind development and system parasites
  5. Mind-control, implants and preprogrammed life
  6. The conscious mind, thoughts and personality activation
  7. Relationships and subconscious mind development
  8. The secret of self-support
  9. The secret of self-direction


Human Delusions : Debits and Credits

 

Yesterday a lady approached me on the street to ask me a weird question, she said that her friend just had a granddaughter and the parents called her ‘Black” , and she asked me if I thought that this was “normal “, she went on to saying that the parents were university graduates and they should therefore have known better, that when she laughed her friend told her everybody complemented them for the choice (liberal choice) and she ended with unfortunately the priest baptised her anyway because nowadays nobody goes to church anymore (so he has to take whatever comes and he can no longer rule on the appropriatness of names, unlike a few years ago).

Since I am becoming aware that if all that is Here is me, I’m taking everything that happens as a clue to something I’m working on, but yesterday I could not see clearly the connection to this impromptu approach, apart from possible racial issues that I may have suppressed inside under a liberal tag but I will look later into this point.

Then when I came home I read a few blogs, I read one about how when we get the pay check we feel a thrill and everything in that blog was about money and absolutely equal to me in every experience, a point I’m looking at to see where are my connections to the Money System, while I am discovering sadly that they are just about everywhere, hence the need to bring the Money System to Equality to stop all the bullshit we have alowed and accepted ourselves to define us and others equal to us.

Today the ‘nonsense talk’ of the lady that approached me yesterday came into focus more clearly, as I wrote yesterday I’m becoming aware that my whole life has been lived as a system of favours, where I would ONLY do something to get something, or think something to get a particular emotion or to feed an idea and a personality of myself.

So, I can see the talk of the lady in exact the same context, every word we speak, every sentence has a PLUS and a MINUS value, if I deconstruct her sentence into an apparente vocabulary accounting book it goes like this

” I want to know what you think about this ” (PLUS, giving me value, valuing my opinion even though we never met, but because of the VALUE she gives me she opens a door)

‘my friend just had a granddaughter and they decided to call her BLACK’ (MINUS, as she implied through her tone and body language the inappropriatness of such choice)

‘when I laughed’ (MINUS, she laughed at them, diminishing them)

‘she told me that they had received plenty compliments’ (PLUS, because she had the group approval)

‘what do YOU think ? is this NORMAL ?’ asking to cast my vote as MINUS or PLUS

‘the priest baptised her anyway’ (MINUS because the priest was irresponsible)

‘but he had to because nowadays there are very few people going to church’ (MINUS, implying both the lower rate of church goers and that he has to take ‘whatever’ comes)

So I finally saw the connection, I am showing myself that I and everyone else within polarity live inside a book of credit and debts, either trying to balance out according to our accepted and allowed definitions of whatever we think, feel and do or in the process of diminishing or uplifting a story (always in the attempt to balance out).

We are dishonest in our talk as well as out thoughts feelings and emotions, because we are participating within a polarity game and thus of the Mind.

The polarity game itself is like the book of profit and loss, debits and credits are recorded and played out in a never ending game of trying to win to uphold our personalities as ‘good’, deeply fearing to be ‘bad’, so the links to the Money system within our reality are everywhere, it is quite disheartening (interesting choice of word, that trying to dismantle the money system construct should be ‘disHEARTening, given what the HEART of the system is, MONEY itself) too see how deeply money infiltrates our reality.

We need to forgive all debts, in our memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions, to delete the profit and loss books from our life to allow a new economic system to manifest, if we are the system it is the system INSIDE of each one of us that needs to be addressed and corrected to the deletion of all credits we claim against others, we can start from there because the profit and debit book is a double accountancy system, once all the credits are given up the debit column will collapse, once we realize that all abuse was self abuse, our claims stop, our credits stop, the debts are not forgiven, they are realized into non existance and the new system will be brought forward as a replacement to the old system of abuse that is creating inequality and suffering within each one of us one and Equal to the world we live in

Investigate a new money system, delete your debits and credits book, set Life free, join us for a long standing solution at www.equalmoney.org

 

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m a system of debits and credits

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that all debits must be payed back

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the debits and credits I have created for myself and others equal to me through living this system of inequality into manifestation

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe it’s better to have credits than debits without realizing that in whichever financial column I input the data it will have to be balanced out

I forgive myself for allowing myself to not be willing to forgive all debts of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to collect all credits of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to collect all the perceived credits of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that debits and credits are real instead of seeing they are just mind constructs I have submitted to and abdicated myself to instead of refusing to play and standing up for All as One as Equal as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to separate myself from the words I speak through a minus and plus polarity that feeds the debits and credit construct and thus the Money system itself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there was fairness in this system of accountability because they are called ‘accounts’ and thus one is held accountable

I forgive myself for allowing myself to not see that I am the very creator of this system of abuse and inequality through my participation within a polarity game of decreasing and increasing values for every word I speak, thought I think and emotion I participate in, none of which is real but of the Mind

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there was nothing I could do to change this system because I refused to see how I was myself participating within and as it and thus giving it life, me as life, instead of standing as Life, as me, One and Equal to everything that exists

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge people diminishing them

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge myself diminishing myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to hold on to old grudges because they gave me ‘ credits’ over others that I was unwilling to let go in fear of diminishing myself as my credits/assets diminished

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that life is a game and that I should always look to win because games are about winning and losing

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that who holds the most credits, in any accepted from, of being abused, of being rejected, of being right, has more chances to win over others due to the accumulated credit/assets

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to win over others to be more than others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe there is nothing I can do to stop myself because I have allowed my Ego to tell me so while I see that if I can see what is going on I must be able to change to realign myself to what is best for All, dropping all illusions, all claims, all fears to be less and desires to be more, one step at the time, one point at the time, until I accumulate into what is Best for All

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge myself and humanity for what we have lived out through our programming, I stop all judgements because when I judge I feed the credit and debit system log instead I STOP, I breathe, I see that all this is NOT what is best for all, self righteousness within this process is the ultimate CON of my Ego, because when I feel that I am MORE right than others for walking this process here I go again,  creating a plus for myself,  a credit, instead I stop and breathe, keep telling myself to STOP and breathe until I see I have stopped feeding the system one and equal to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there are thoughts worth thinking even relative to this process, instead I stop fooling myself and just bring myself back Here every time my mind wanders, because when my mind is wandering I’m polarizing something as the mind exists ONLY within polarity and when I exists within the MIND I am of POLARITY

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I can only exist as polarity of the mind and for fearing letting go of the mind for fear of not existing

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the fear of not existing as the mind because I have allowed myself to accept and believe that the mind is who/what I am

I can stand one and equal to the Mind to take response-ability for what I have allowed and created within myself but I am not the Mind

I am HERE, I breathe, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical