Supporting Capitalism: the Freedom Excuse

I want to elaborate on the topic of Capitalism because it has become obvious to me that we need a change of direction as a world, as a society and as people and we cannot discount to take a look at the current system of interests that is managing this world to assess where we are, why and what need to change.

Usually the debate against Capitalism is framed into Capitalism vs Communism (or Socialism loosely associated with Capitalism), to make sure that Capitalism always wins because of “the nature of Man’ being unable to contemplate the good that would come to them from a different system that would not be Capitalistic thus based on Capital, but based on doing what is Best for All.

So, let’s first look at the word Capitalism, first if you Google this word, you will notice that on the first 3 pages of Google, there are ONLY positive explanation about what Capitalism is, this is strange in this world where we seem to be divided about everything, to always hold an opinion that causes a debate, even the colour of women’s hair, blondes seem to have more fun for some but some disagree.

So how come that Capitalism, which is a system that fosters, creates and then protects inequalities through a Law written ad hoc, is not challenged so openly as women’s hair colour, a fact much more irrelevant and extensively less damaging than this economic system but instead praised for it’s efficiency (could it be that the Capitalists that own the Internet want you to have a certain “image’ about Capitalism in your Mind that then they can play with ?)  and for allowing people to be ‘Free’ ?

Lately I’m coming to just hate this word, FREE, FREEDOM, I resent the way I see it abused and twarted into all possible connotations to just deliver a specific desired result, through the use of this simple word, we can CON-vince anyone that whatever it is we are debating , it’s what is best for them, because they could lose their FREEDOM if they did not accept things the way they are.

I would like to say that unless we have become blind, deaf and insane, there is nothing Free about Capitalism, there is no Freedom in Capitalism, because the Freedom that Capitalism offers is just something you have to BUY, so it’s not a free freedom is it?

When you have to buy something, or in this case buy into something, you are not free, and if you have to buy your freedom to exist, where is your freedom if not only in the slogans of those that own your freedom at the moment and sell it to you through your labour.

To write this piece I have read several papers written on Capitalism by their supporters, if we could stop and breathe and read them out aloud we would be astonished at how little sense they make, still we bought into the system of Capital, where guess what, you and me are the Capital that makes it all run and work smoothlessly, we are by birth the property of someone, have you ever tried to renounce your citizenship ? I have, it’s not possible,  it’s illegal unless you are given citizenship by someone else first, unless someone else owns you you cannot break free, you must belong to someone, we are slaves by birth.

Now, the point I want to debate about Capitalism and why is not really working even though they keep telling us that it is, is simple, just go and read what is happening in the world, this is the Freedom we have bought through our labour, because within Capitalism this is the accepted currency, our Labour that generates Money, you have to earn your right to live, but we know about this, our parents who were born slaves too, told us exactly the same, we don’t have a right to Life, we must buy our right to live, to exists.

So, how do we buy our ‘freedom to exist’ ? Well the Capitalistic system says that through your labour within a engine that is created to produce money, you must find your slot, fit in and help this senseless production that has to be pushed into insanity through tools like ‘planned obsolency’ of goods, meaning goods that have a planned shelf life, so when your car, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, printer, computer or any other goods break, know they have been designed to break after a certain period of time.

In theory this should be criminal in itself, let me spell it in another way, we are buying faulty goods designed to be faulty so they will break and we will be forced to buy new ones.

Why would this be ? Because Capitalism needs to create needs to perpetuate itself into existance, we buy the planned obsolency of the capitalistic system in full awareness that things will just have a certain life span, we have given up the idea that we can fix things and make them last because subconsciously we accept that we must help this system to exist in fear we will not have jobs that are created through this very cycle of abuse, when you manufacture faulty goods you are acting against the interest of your fellow human beings, so you are a criminal, when you buy into the system you are a criminal for supporting it, we are all criminals at the moment, acting against the interest of what is Best for All, because we forgot that what is Best for All, is best for us too.

If everyone had enough, we would stop the violence, the wars, the abuse, the corruption, the ridicolous education system that we have at the moment, we would stop believing in God hoping for his obvious non existant benevolence, we would stop rape, we would stop abusing each other, plotting and scheming in our secret minds to always have an advantage over others, due to our extensive fears of survival within a system that is not supporting us or others, where the only hope to survive we have is to be dishonest, or this is what we have come to accept and believe.

What are the freedoms that Capitalism can guarantee, let’s expose them one by one:

Freedom to own private property

this is a benefit ONLY to those who actually have private properties, who own something, 1.4 billion people worldwide currently live in “extreme poverty,” defined by the World Bank as surviving on US$1.50 a day (adjusted for inflation from the 2005 rate of US$1.25), how does Capitalism benefit them ? To own something you need Money, without Money you are nothing within this system, you are pushed outside of it until you are left with nothing and have to resort to crime to survive, so Money is the only guarantee that one can actually own anything, inclusing his/her very life.

Freedom of trade

Again, this benefit only applies to those who are trading, if you live on 1.5 USD a day, the only thing you can trade is your body. So to take advantage of the Freedom to trade you need Money

Freedom of speech

Yes, we have the freedom to say we don’t want Capitalism, that we hate having to do jobs that are demeaning and useless and that exist only to feed this system, freedom of speech doesn’t mean someone will hear, because as we have understood by now, within this system, Money talks, Money hears, so again you have the freedom of doing something useless and inconsequential: talking and complaining about the system that doesn’t change and keeps creating huge rifts between the have and have nots


Free healthcare. Health is not free unless you have Money, there is no way for anyone to access the best medical care unless they bought an insurance that gives them cover from the risks of living in a Capitalistic system or in some countries where Capitalism is rampant infact you have no access to the Health system at all, Money dictates if you live or die, you have the freedom to die.

Social Good

There goes another freedom, you have the freedom to do good, meaning, having accepted this system of inequalities for what it is, having given up any hope that it may change or any care that it should, you can do some good, you can do charitable work and help the poor, the ones poorer than you , which gives you a chance to feel richer than the poorer so to feel better/luckier about your status within society having not been born at the lowest rings of the ladder plus, Capitalism states, they get a chance to do good for the society, any job is good for the society, so Capitalism says, because it contributes to the Welfare of all. So if this is so, how come only some seem to benefit within this system and not everybody, where is the social good in this ?


This is the biggest lie of all, Capitalism says that everyone has the same chance to make it if they work hard, which was later translated in the American dream. I am ashamed to say that I have bought into this lie myself because I did not want to face this system of blatant inequalities which I have even justified through religious/spiritual beliefs of some deserving more than others or just having ‘a different life experience’ to try it out, just for fun. Now that I’m healing my demented mind I wonder, what fun is there for people born in a third world country with not enough to eat or to get by day by day.  So Capitalism says we have the freedom of equality, meaning we all have the same chances to ‘make it big’. This is an obvious lie, I don’t have other words to define this if not a malicious lie covered up and justified through the stories that Hollywood tells us of the some who actually did make it. Many did not, infact most did not, it’s just that we rather not talk about them or we are criticized for complaining or for being negative, my own mother has issues with me at the moment because I am not displaying the ‘gratefulness ‘ I should display for my life of luck, because I don’t thank God for what I have because I am too disgusted at the moment by myself and what I have not done until now to stand up and say Til Here No Further.
If you are born poor, have no education and no money your chances of making it are based on the compromises you will accept to make to secure your position into this world, you have the freedom to sell out for money, we enjoy such equality within the Capitalistic system, each one of us can sell out, this is truly Equality !

The Freedom to accept out Human Nature as flawed

This is another Freedom that Capitalism offers, we all accept that being what we are, being sinners, accepting that nobody is perfect and as such we too are not, we are just flawed pawns of this system of inequality, with no responsibility because this is what we are at the end, greedy, fearful powerless creatures that must go with our nature, our Human Nature that cannot be changed, that will force us, against our will, to always take advantage of one another. The freedom to not abuse as well is given by Money, and it’s not even sure, only when you have enough you can afford the luxury to not abuse others, but when is Enough Enough ? Rotschild replied to this question ‘just a little bit more’, his family owns a declared 500 billions dollars in assets, guess that’s hard to match, so probably within who we accept and believe that we are, enough is never enough.

The freedom to grow, to have viable alternatives and to enjoy Democracy

Without Money there is no freedom to growth or viable alternatives and democracy is designed by those who have Money, so Democracy it’s a Mafia system of favours and protection, it’s not real, we never had real Democracy, Money buys people’s votes, so who ends up in power is always the ones with money who end up deciding which ‘viable alternatives’ we should have that support the system, meaning what we buy eat and drink, what we should wear  impulsed by Fashion and Trends, when we need to start smoking or drinking or taking drugs, when we must be vaccinated or poisoned through water so as to be kept dumb, Freedom is just the carrot that keeps this system moving, the Belief in a Freedom we never had and will never have until we all join into Equality and what is Best for All.

Ultimately Capitalism guarantees our Freedom to pursue our Happiness

When was the last time you were happy ? Not counting when shopping, drinking, smoking weed, taking drugs or watching TV, Really ? I watched an Italian movie the other day and one friend said to the other ‘remember when we were young and happy? ” and the other replied ‘NO, I don’t remember ever having been truly happy’ and they laughed about it and said,” this is why young people complain today but in 20 years they will look back and believe that once, in their past, they too did feel happy when in reality happiness is the tomorrow that never comes or the past that never was 🙂 “. Happiness is just another word like Freedom, it’s loaded with images that someone has put there for us to dream about, it’s filled with our desires to have it, to experience it, to be able to buy that happiness that is for Sale with the Goods that we believe we need to make that dream of Happy come true.

Happiness is like Hope and like Freedom, empty words that fill our imaginary world and change nothing, that leave us wanting the experience, while Here there is Life that goes disregarded in our pursuit of the imaginary dream.

We have accepted and allowed this system of inequalities into being, we can correct this through our common application to birth a New World Here, that is Best for All, best for you and me Too, because without considering the Whole as One, we decay and loose our ability to Live and be One and Equal with everything that exists Here in every moment of Breath.

We are faulty flawed Human beings only if we accept and believe we are, to be the Change we want to see in the world we must be the Change, Change ourselves to be the building blocks of a New Earth where Life is dignified and Freedom and Happiness are not empty words and  ideals to pursue but who we are as the Living Word.

Change yourself to change the world.


Investigate an alternative system for Equality that will benefit All Equally


The God of Small things, leaving behind delusions of a benevolent God/Universe

I am still working on my assignment for DIP lesson 4, for now I have prepared the document that I will have to fill in, meanwhile since I have had access to the PF I have been catching up with all back logged chats to absorb ‘common sense’ from others who have already walked this process longer than myself. I have understood that struggling with Equality is a disease of my mind and I need help to heal, so, without looking up to the people who are more healed than myself, I follow their chats, because I have been taught inequality from birth and I have accepted and allowed it within me as ‘the way things are’ so I am re-teaching my self equality, accumulating not chats of others as knowledge, but chat of others as me, me as Life that knows about Equality but that is too suppressed at the moment to work out all the details of how Equality could work on a practical level in all fields.

In one of the PF chats I read some interesting questions, they all started with “Why did God create….”, the assumption is of course based on the taught knowledge that God is All Knowing and the Creator of All Things, Invisible and Visible.

We were all born in a world of inequalities, this is for all there to see, no matter which religion one was brought up with, some excuses were given to the whys of this creation.

the Catholics ones are the following:

God did not create inequality, he created men with free choice and so it’s not God’s fault what men did but men’s fault

God loves all his children equally (the Catholics), the other Children noone understands who were they fathered by

I don’t want to take out the multitudes of slanted takes on the above, I just want to debate some points on my quest for sanity, because even though I have abandoned the Catholic God quite some time ago, just to embrace more elaborate and convoluted delusions, like Karma and Law of Attraction, namely the Abraham Hicks boat of Love and Light, I live in a Catholic country, where the displays of insanity are daily news, we have a catholic Channel and Catholic programmes on both radio and TV, where ‘educated’ people go and debate the goodness of God.

The Catholic Church have a ‘Joker’ card that they can play in any case of dissent or at any sign of display that some common sense is kicking in, it’s called DOGMA, a DOGMA is ‘an unquestionable Truth’ which is already an interesting definition, because in science all truth have come about trough some sort of questioning that led to an agreed answer about the functioning of things.

The Catholics (and most religions but I will only talk about my first hand experience) have instead found a way to bypass Common Sense, so, the things that would be ‘impossible to believe’ are covered up with the Dogma label, some that I can recall by heart are, the virginity of Mary the mother of Jesus, after giving Birth, which is a bit like the Disney characters where no parents are allowed in fear someone could think about sex, so we have uncles and anties only.

To be specific in my blog, I decided to Google the catholic Dogmas, I expected to be 10, because having to believe 10 impossible things in one go is more than the Queen of Hearts asked Alice in Wonderland to do when Alice said “There is no use trying , one can’t believe impossible things.” “I dare say you havent’s had much practice,” said the Queen “When I was your age I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast ” (Lewis Carrol). I had a magnet on my fridge saying that when I was a follower of the Law of Attraction, just to show I have never really gone far away from the Catholic teachings after all 🙂

So, back to Dogmas, when I Googled it, from a site called no less (I’m not joking), I found that the Catholic Church has actually 255, here they are together with The 102 Certain Truths Not Yet Defined by the Magisterium (meaning Dogmas that are ‘waiting to happen’ once approved by the Magisterium), someone added a comment saying that the Author of the list might be slightly off by ‘1’, meaning there is one extra added there somewhere but we can let that slip for now.

Of course I cannot argue all of them for sake of lack of time, some are absolutely comical, so for those with the time do read the list for a laugh, instead for the purpose of this exposure I will pick the most relevant to why God is responsible for this world and this creation, looking into the real intentions of why he created US the way we are, unequal to each other in oh so many ways.

  • God possesses an infinite power of cognition.
  • God is absolute ontological Goodness in Himself and in relation to others.
  • God is absolute Moral Goodness or Holiness.
  • God is absolute Benignity.
  • God is everywhere present in created space.
  • God’s knowledge is infinite.
  • God knows all that is merely possible by the knowledge of simple intelligence (scientia simplicis intelligentiae).
  • God knows all real things in the past, the present and the future (Scientia visionis).
  • By knowledge of vision (scientia visionis) God also foresees the free acts of the rational creatures with infallible certainty.
  • God is almighty.
  • God is infinitely merciful.
  • God was moved by His Goodness to create the world.
  • The world was created for the Glorification of God.
  • God alone created the World.
  • God keeps all created things in existence.

Our His-story

  • Our first parents in paradise sinned grievously through transgression of the Divine probationary commandment.
  • Through the sin our first parents lost sanctifying grace and provoked the anger and the indignation of God.
  • Our first parents became subject to death and to the dominion of the Devil.
  • Adam’s sin is transmitted to his posterity, not by imitation, but by descent.
  • Original sin is transmitted by natural generation.
  • In the state of original sin man is deprived of sanctifying grace and all that this implies, as well as of the preternatural gifts of integrity.
  • The Devil possesses a certain dominion over mankind by reason of Adam’s sin.
  • The God-Logos is connected with the flesh by an inner, physical or substantial unification. Christ is not the bearer of God, but is God really
  • Christ’s human nature was passible (capable of sensation & suffering).
  • The Son of God became man in order to redeem men.
  • Fallen man cannot redeem himself.

I have extrapolated a few ‘Dogmas’ to explain this inequality point ‘created and willed by God’ into existance, leaving behind other points that are just embarassing, like the virginity of Mary, a point used to bash women into nothingness because no matter how hard they would try, they could never match that, try to be a virgin before, during and after pregnancy and giving birth, this doesn’t explain the Divine nature of Jesus, but the delusion of the Catholic Church and its obsession with sex, that found its way through all the scriptures written by men.

So, here we have an All powerful, all benign, all Goodness God onto himself and in relation to others, with infinite knowledge, to whom all things of past present and future are known, including the foresight of the free acts of the rational creatures with infallible certainty. He is all Merciful and everywhere present in created space.

Now let’s look at the state of the world, this world sucks, we have violence, wars, rapes, starvation, child abuse, corruption, extensive inequality within colours, religions, gender, nations, south and north, rich and poors.

If God could with absolute certainty foresee all this shit, if he knew what we wuld choose with absolute infallible certainty every single time and that he would have to send his son to suffer to atone for the shit he was about to create, why did he allow all this to come into existance if not because he is a deviant , sadist that will not stop in front of anything to get the worship he craved so much, the absolute power over human beings that required that they should live as slaves and suffer through this experience that he created while all the time knowing ‘full well’ where and how it was going to end?

And where is the Devil coming from if God created all things visible and invisible ? Did he create the Devil ? Did he create Evil ? How can an All Good and Benign being create Evil and why, what was the Devil’s purpose within this existance ‘to tempt us ‘ ? Who would come up with this shit if not a psycopath ? or as Law of attraction says this Universe is perfect as it is because one can choose which side they want to play on, the good/positive or the bad/negative ? But honestly who can truly afford this choice if not through Money ? If you were born in a war ravaged country and your parents sold you as a slave or into prostitution, where is the fairness of the All knowing Merciful God, where is your right to free choice ? Or is God punishing people for previous lives which the Catholic church don’t even believe in ? And if so, again why did we ever call God Merciful ?

Is God a racist ? Because blacks and the ‘lower races’ according to the design of God, had to have it harder and they did.

Is God a male ? Because women had it harder than men and how is the shit of ‘you will give birth in pain’ ? Because this is by design for those that did not notice, I watched a cat giving birth and it was the smoothless thing, not a meow in the process, have you been out of any delivery room lately 🙂 ? How can this make sense if giving birth is necessary for the continuation of our species, how could this design come about unless it was a demented idea that barely hides God’s smallness and pettiness to condemn a whole gender into suffering to continue His purposeless creation ?

And if the Fallen man cannot redeeem himself from the sins of the father, what was the purpose in such creation that cannot even be considered as an atoning playground since we cannot ‘ever’ redeem ourselves because we made him so angry and pissed off that he was unable to let go, to forgive us, where is the fucking Mercy and ‘All Merciful’ side of this story they talk about, how could we believe this bullshit and let them get away with it ?

Maybe it’s because we struggle with the responsibility of this creation, of having to take a hard  look at it and accept that there is no God, at least not the one we wished for, a benevolent being, that loved us and wanted the best for us, there has never been, if you have given up God for the “Universe’ it’s a diversion from one delusion into another delusion, I have done that, just to discover I secretly invested the ‘Universe ‘ of the same responsibility I had given to God, the petty sadist, my responsibility for this world, so that I would not have to stand up, face it One and Equal to me and be the change that this world needs.

If God created all things visible and invisible within all the above points, he sucked at creation, he should have entertained himself with some virtual games instead, if God created us in His Image and Likeness, we must suck at creation too, by design we cannot be better than Him, but maybe by choice ?

It’s hard to hear this, I am here writing this out because for me to it’s hard to come to terms with my responsibility, to let go of the God, the Angels and later the LOA Universe blanket that kept me all warm and fuzzy, uncaring of the people for whom this blanket was too short, I did not mind to pull it just over me and if someone came out from the sides and the end and froze to death, I did not care, anything would do as long as I did not have to face myself and this world for what I have allowed it to become, there was always God, who was unknowable to Man and he must have had his good reasons.

Honestly, what good reasons are there to create such a world, to create such an experience where most suffer, even the ones who have enough food, we all suffer, because we are One, the void we feel it’s US missing, we have been missing all along, allowed this world to exists as it is, without standing up, without saying ‘TIL HERE NO FURHER, all of us beLIEvers in Goodness in the face of what Reality is, we are all Equally responsible, and I don’t mean this as a Catholic :), where responsibility means BLAME and GUILT, we are RESPONSE-ABLE, how could we forget this ?

We don’t need God and the 255 Dogma delusions, we need Self Honesty, we need to stand up and walk a path of correction, because ‘If We are the World’ we suck at it. We better start by stopping ourselves, check our delusions BREATHE and reassess ourselves, are we what we would like the world to look like ? Inside, in the secret of our Minds, is the show similar to what is playing out on the planet ? Then we need to stop, each one of us, we need to stand and walk the change, until the change is Here as who we are.

Drop your Gods to live as an Equal

The 255 Infallibly Declared Dogmas of the Catholic Faith

God, our Creator and Lord, can be known with certainty, by the natural light of reason from created things.
God’s existence is not merely an object of natural rational knowledge, but also an object of supernatural faith.
God’s Nature is incomprehensible to men.
The blessed in Heaven posses an immediate intuitive knowledge of the Divine Essence.
The Immediate Vision of God transcends the natural power of cognition of the human soul, and is therefore supernatural.
The soul, for the Immediate Vision of God, requires the light of glory.
God’s Essence is also incomprehensible to the blessed in Heaven.
The Divine Attributes are really identical among themselves and with the Divine Essence.
God is absolutely perfect.
God is actually infinite in every perfection.
God is absolutely simple.
There is only One God.
The One God is, in the ontological sense, The True God.
God possesses an infinite power of cognition.
God is absolute Veracity.
God is absolutely faithful.
God is absolute ontological Goodness in Himself and in relation to others.
God is absolute Moral Goodness or Holiness.
God is absolute Benignity.
God is absolutely immutable.
God is eternal.
God is immense or absolutely immeasurable.
God is everywhere present in created space.
God’s knowledge is infinite.
God knows all that is merely possible by the knowledge of simple intelligence (scientia simplicis intelligentiae).
God knows all real things in the past, the present and the future (Scientia visionis).
By knowledge of vision (scientia visionis) God also foresees the free acts of the rational creatures with infallible certainty.
God’s Divine will is infinite.
God loves Himself of necessity, but loves and wills the creation of extra-Divine things, on the other hand, with freedom.
God is almighty.
God is the Lord of the heavens and of the earth.
God is infinitely just.
God is infinitely merciful.
In God there are Three Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Each of the Three Persons possesses the one (numerical) Divine Essence.
In God there are two Internal Divine Processions.
The Divine Persons, not the Divine Nature, are the subject of the Internal Divine processions (in the active and in the passive sense).
The Second Divine Person proceeds from the First Divine Person by Generation, and therefore is related to Him as Son to a Father.
The Holy Ghost proceeds from the Father and from the Son as from a Single Principle through a Single Spiration.
The Holy Ghost does not proceed through generation but through spiration.
The Relations in God are really identical with the Divine Nature.
The Three Divine Persons are in One Another.
All the ad extra Activities of God are common to all Three Persons.
All that exists outside God was, in its whole substance, produced out of nothing by God.
God was moved by His Goodness to create the world.
The world was created for the Glorification of God.
The Three Divine Persons are one single, common Principle of the Creation.
God created the world free from exterior compulsion and inner necessity.
God has created a good world.
The world had a beginning in time.
God alone created the World.
God keeps all created things in existence.
God through His providence protects and guides all that He has created.
The first man was created by God.
Man consists of two essential parts–a material body and a spiritual soul.
The rational soul is per se the essential form of the body.
Every human being possesses an individual soul.
God has conferred on man a supernatural Destiny.
Our first parents, before the Fall, were endowed with sanctifying grace.
They were also endowed with donum immortalitatis, i.e., the gift of bodily immortality.
Our first parents in paradise sinned grievously through transgression of the Divine probationary commandment.
Through the sin our first parents lost sanctifying grace and provoked the anger and the indignation of God.
Our first parents became subject to death and to the dominion of the Devil.
Adam’s sin is transmitted to his posterity, not by imitation, but by descent.
Original sin is transmitted by natural generation.
In the state of original sin man is deprived of sanctifying grace and all that this implies, as well as of the preternatural gifts of integrity.
Souls who depart this life in the state of original sin are excluded from the Beatific Vision of God.
In the beginning of time God created spiritual essences (angels) out of nothing.
The nature of angels is spiritual.
The secondary task of the good angels is the protection of men and care for their salvation.
The Devil possesses a certain dominion over mankind by reason of Adam’s sin.
Jesus Christ is the True God and True Son of God.
Christ assumed a real body, not an apparent body.
Christ assumed not only a body but also a rational soul.
Christ was truly generated and born of a daughter of Adam, the Virgin Mary.
The Divine and the human natures are united hypostatically in Christ, that is, joined to each other in one Person.
Christ Incarnate is a single, that is, a sole Person. He is God and man at the same time.
The God-Logos is connected with the flesh by an inner, physical or substantial unification. Christ is not the bearer of God, but is God really.
The human and the divine activities predicated of Christ in Holy Writ and in the Fathers may not be divided between two persons or hypostases, the Man-Christ and the God-Logos, but must be attributed to the one Christ, the Logos become Flesh. It is the Divine Logos, who suffered in the flesh, was crucified, died, and rose again.
The Holy Virgin is the Mother of God since she truly bore the God-Logos become Flesh.
In the Hypostatic Union each of the two natures of Christ continues unimpaired, untransformed and unmixed with the other.
Each of the two natures in Christ possesses its own natural will and its own natural mode of operation.
The Hypostatic Union of Christ’s human nature with the Divine Logos took place at the moment of conception.
The Hypostatic Union will never cease.
The Hypostatic Union was effected by the Three Divine Persons acting in common.
Only the Second Divine Person became Man.
Not only as God but also as man Jesus Christ is the natural Son of God.
The God-Man Jesus Christ is to be venerated with one single mode of Worship, the absolute Worship of Latria which is due to God alone.
Christ’s Divine and Human characteristics and activities are to be predicated of the one Word Incarnate.
Christ was free from all sin, from original sin as well as from all personal sin.
Christ’s human nature was passible (capable of sensation & suffering).
The Son of God became man in order to redeem men.
Fallen man cannot redeem himself.
The God-Man Jesus Christ is a High Priest.
Christ offered Himself on the Cross as a true and proper sacrifice.
Christ by His Sacrifice on the Cross has ransomed us and reconciled us with God.
Christ did not die for the predestined only.
Christ’s Atonement does not extend to the fallen angels.
Christ, through His Passion and Death, merited reward from God.
After His Death, Christ’s soul, which was separated from His Body, descended into the underworld.

100. On the third day after His Death Christ rose gloriously from the dead.
101. Christ ascended Body and Soul into Heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father.
102. Mary is truly the Mother of God.
103. Mary was conceived without stain of Original sin.
104. Mary conceived by the Holy Ghost without the co-operation of man.
105. Mary bore her Son without any violation of her virginal integrity.
106. Also after the Birth of Jesus Mary remained a Virgin.
107. Mary was a Virgin before, during and after the Birth of Jesus Christ.
108. Mary was assumed body and soul into Heaven.
109. There is a supernatural intervention of God in the faculties of the soul, which precedes the free act of the will.
110. There is a supernatural influence of God in the faculties of the soul which coincides in time with man’s free act of will.
111. For every salutary act internal supernatural grace of God (gratia elevans) is absolutely necessary.
112. Internal supernatural grace is absolutely necessary for the beginning of faith and of salvation.
113. Without the special help of God the justified cannot persevere to the end in justification.
114. The justified person is not able for his whole life long to avoid all sins, even venial sins, without the special privilege of the grace of God.
115. Even in the fallen state, man can, by his natural intellectual power, know religious and moral truths.
116. For the performance of a morally good action Sanctifying Grace is not required.
117. In the state of fallen nature it is morally impossible for man without Supernatural Revelation, to know easily, with absolute certainty and without admixture of error, all religious and moral truths of the natural order.
118. Grace cannot be merited by natural works either de condigno or de congruo.
119. God gives all the just sufficient grace (gratia proxime vel remote sufficiens) for the observation of the Divine Commandments.
120. God, by His Eternal Resolve of Will, has predetermined certain men to eternal blessedness.
121. God, by an Eternal Resolve of His Will, predestines certain men, on account of their foreseen sins, to eternal rejection.
122. The Human Will remains free under the influence of efficacious grace, which is not irresistible.
123. There is a grace which is truly sufficient and yet remains inefficacious (gratia vere et mere sufficiens).
124. The sinner can and must prepare himself by the help of actual grace for the reception of the grace by which he is justified.
125. The justification of an adult is not possible without Faith.
126. Besides faith, further acts of disposition must be present.
127. Sanctifying grace sanctifies the soul.
128. Sanctifying grace makes the just man a friend of God.
129. Sanctifying grace makes the just man a child of God and gives him a claim to the inheritance of Heaven.
130. The three Divine or Theological Virtues of Faith, Hope and Charity are infused with Sanctifying grace.
131. Without special Divine Revelation no one can know with the certainty of faith, if he be in the state of grace.
132. The degree of justifying grace is not identical in all the just.
133. Grace can be increased by good works.
134. The grace by which we are justified may be lost, and is lost by every grievous [mortal, serious] sin.
135. By his good works the justified man really acquires a claim to supernatural reward from God.
136. A just man merits for himself through each good work an increase of sanctifying grace, eternal life (if he dies in a state of grace) and an increase of heavenly glory.
137. The Church was founded by the God-Man Jesus Christ.
138. Our Redeemer Himself conserves with divine power the society founded by Him, the Church.
139. Christ is the Divine Redeemer of His Body, the Church.
140. Christ founded the Church in order to continue His work of redemption for all time.
141. Christ gave His Church a hierarchical constitution.
142. The powers bestowed on the Apostles have descended to the bishops.
143. Christ appointed the Apostle Peter to be the first of all the Apostles and to be the visible head of the whole Church, by appointing him immediately and personally to the primacy of jurisdiction.
144. According to Christ’s ordinance, Peter is to have successors in his Primacy over the whole Church and for all time.
145. The successors of Peter in the Primacy are the bishops of Rome.
146. The Pope possesses full and supreme power of jurisdiction over the whole Church, not merely in matters of faith and morals, but also in Church discipline and in the government of the Church.
147. The Pope is infallible when he speaks ex cathedra.
148. By virtue of Divine Right the bishops possess an ordinary power of government over their dioceses.
149. Christ is the Head of the Church.
150. In the final decision on doctrines concerning faith and morals the Church is infallible.
151. The primary object of the Infallibility is the formally revealed truths of Christian Doctrine concerning faith and morals.
152. The totality of the Bishops is infallible, when they, either assembled in general council or scattered over the earth, propose a teaching of faith or morals as one to be held by all the faithful.
153. The Church founded by Christ is unique and one.
154. The Church founded by Christ is holy.
155. The Church founded by Christ is catholic.
156. The Church founded by Christ is apostolic.
157. Membership of the Church is necessary for all men for salvation.
158. It is permissible and profitable to venerate the Saints in Heaven, and to invoke their intercession.
159. It is permissible and profitable to venerate the relics of the Saints.
160. It is permissible and profitable to venerate images of the Saints.
161. The living Faithful can come to the assistance of the Souls in Purgatory by their intercessions (suffrages).
162. The Sacraments of the New Covenant contain the grace which they signify, and bestow it on those who do not hinder it.
163. The Sacraments work ex opere operato (simply by being done).
164. All the Sacraments of the New Covenant confer sanctifying grace on the receivers.
165. Three Sacraments, Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Orders, imprint a character, that is, an indelible spiritual mark, and for this reason cannot be repeated.
166. The Sacramental Character is a spiritual mark imprinted on the soul.
167. The Sacramental Character continues at least until the death of its bearer.
168. All the Sacraments of the New Covenant were instituted by Jesus Christ.
169. There are Seven Sacraments of the New Law.
170. The Sacraments of the New Covenant are necessary for the salvation of mankind.
171. For the valid dispensing of the Sacraments it is necessary that the minister accomplish the Sacramental Sign in the proper manner.
172. The minister must further have the intention at least of doing what the Church does.
173. In the case of adult recipients moral worthiness is necessary for the worthy or fruitful reception of the Sacraments.
174. Baptism is a true Sacrament instituted by Jesus Christ.
175. The materia remota of the Sacrament of Baptism is true and natural water.
176. Baptism confers the grace of justification.
177. Baptism effects the remission of all punishments of sin, both the eternal and the temporal.
178. Eve if it be unworthily received, valid Baptism imprints on the soul of the recipient an indelible spiritual mark, the Baptismal Character, and for this reason, the Sacrament cannot be repeated.
179. Baptism by water (Baptismus fluminis) is, since the promulgation of the Gospel, necessary for all men without exception, for salvation.
180. Baptism can be validly administered by anyone.
181. Baptism can be received by any person in the wayfaring state who is not already baptised.
182. The Baptism of young children is valid and licit.
183. Confirmation is a true Sacrament properly so-called.
184. Confirmation imprints on the soul an indelible spiritual mark, and for this reason, cannot be repeated.
185. The ordinary minister of Confirmation is the Bishop alone.
186. The Body and Blood of Jesus Christ are truly, really and substantially present in the Eucharist.
187. Christ becomes present in the Sacrament of the Altar by the transformation of the whole substance of the bread into His Body and the whole substance of the wine into His Blood.
188. The Accidents of bread and wine continue after the change of the substance.
189. The Body and the Blood of Christ together with His Soul and His Divinity and therefore the Whole Christ are truly present in the Eucharist.
190. The Whole Christ is present under each of the two Species.
191. When either consecrated species is divided the Whole Christ is present in each part of the species.
192. After the Consecration has been completed the Body and Blood are permanently present in the Eucharist.
193. The Worship of Adoration (latria) must be given to Christ present in the Eucharist.
194. The Eucharist is a true Sacrament instituted by Christ.
195. The matter for the consummation of the Eucharist is bread and wine.
196. For children before the age of reason the reception of the Eucharist is not necessary for salvation.
197. Communion under two forms is not necessary for any individual member of the Faithful, either by reason of Divine precept or as a means of salvation.
198. The power of consecration resides in a validly consecrated priest only.
199. The Sacrament of the Eucharist can be validly received by every baptized person in the wayfaring state, including young children.
200. For the worthy reception of the Eucharist the state of grace as well as the proper and pious disposition are necessary.
201. The Holy Mass is a true and proper Sacrifice.
202. In the Sacrifice of the Mass, Christ’s Sacrifice on the Cross is made present, its memory is celebrated, and its saving power is applied.
203. In the Sacrifice of the Mass and in the Sacrifice of the Cross the Sacrificial Gift and the Primary Sacrificing Priest are identical; only the nature and mode of the offering are different.
204. The Sacrifice of the Mass is not merely a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, but also a sacrifice of expiation and impetration.
205. The Church has received from Christ the power of remitting sins committed after Baptism.
206. By the Church’s Absolution sins are truly and immediately remitted.
207. The Church’s power to forgive sins extends to all sin without exception.
208. The exercise of the Church’s power to forgive sins is a judicial act.
209. The forgiveness of sins which takes place in the Tribunal of Penance is a true and proper Sacrament, which is distinct from the Sacrament of Baptism.
210. Extra-sacramental justification is effected by perfect sorrow only when it is associated with the desire for the Sacrament (votum sacramenti).
211. Contrition springing from the motive of fear is a morally good and supernatural act.
212. The Sacramental confession of sins is ordained by God and is necessary for salvation.
213. By virtue of Divine ordinance all grievous sins (mortal, serious) according to kind and number, as well as those circumstances which alter their nature, are subject to the obligation of confession.
214. The confession of venial sins is not necessary but is permitted and is useful.
215. All temporal punishments for sin are not always remitted by God with the guilt of sin and the eternal punishment.
216. The priest has the right and the duty, according to the nature of the sins and the ability of the penitent, to impose salutary and appropriate works of satisfaction.
217. Extra-sacramental penitential works, such as the performance of voluntary penitential practices and the patient bearing of trials sent by God, possess satisfactory value.
218. The form of the Sacrament of Penance consists in the words of Absolution.
219. Absolution, in association with the acts of the penitent, effects the forgiveness of sins.
220. The principal effect of the Sacrament of Penance is the reconciliation of the sinner with God.
221. The Sacrament of Penance is necessary for salvation to those who, after Baptism, fall into grievous sin.
222. The sole possessors of the Church’s Power of Absolution are the bishops and priests.
223. Absolution given by deacons, clerics of lower rank, and laymen is not Sacramental Absolution.
224. The Sacrament of Penance can be received by any baptized person, who, after Baptism, has committed a grievous or venial sin.
225. The Church possesses the power to grant Indulgences.
226. The use of Indulgences is useful and salutary to the Faithful.
227. Extreme Unction is a true and proper Sacrament instituted by Christ.
228. The remote matter of Extreme Unction is oil.
229. The form consists in the prayer of the priest for the sick person which accompanies the anointing.
230. Extreme Unction gives the sick person sanctifying grace in order to arouse and strengthen him.
231. Extreme Unction effects the remission of grievous sins still remaining and of venial sins.
232. Extreme Unction sometimes effects the restoration of bodily health, if this be of spiritual advantage.
233. Only bishops and priests can validly administer Extreme Unction.
234. Extreme Unction can be received only by the Faithful who are seriously ill.
235. Holy Order is a true and proper Sacrament which was instituted by Christ.
236. The consecration of priests is a Sacrament.
237. Bishops are superior to priests.
238. The Sacrament of Order confers sanctifying grace on the recipient.
239. The Sacrament of Order imprints a character on the recipient.
240. The Sacrament of Order confers a permanent spiritual power on the recipient.
241. The ordinary dispenser of all grades of Order, both the sacramental and the non-sacramental, is the validly consecrated bishop alone.
242. Marriage is a true and proper Sacrament instituted by God.
243. From the sacramental contract of marriage emerges the Bond of Marriage, which binds both marriage partners to a lifelong indivisible community of life.
244. The Sacrament of Matrimony bestows Sanctifying Grace on the contracting parties.
245. In the present order of salvation death is a punishment for sin.
246. All human beings subject to original sin are subject to the law of death.
247. The souls of the just which in the moment of death are free from all guilt of sin and punishment for sin, enter into Heaven.
248. The bliss of heaven lasts for all eternity.
249. The degree of perfection of the beatific vision granted to the just is proportioned to each one’s merits.
250. The souls of those who die in the condition of personal grievous sin enter Hell.
251. The punishment of Hell lasts for all eternity.
252. The souls of the just which, in the moment of death, are burdened with venial sins or temporal punishment due to sins, enter Purgatory.
253. At the end of the world Christ will come again in glory to pronounce judgment.
254. All the dead will rise again on the last day with their bodies.
255. Christ, on His second coming, will judge all men.

 The 102 Certain Truths Not Yet Defined by the Magisterium

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Guardian Angels : Meet the Fockers

Lucifer, the brightest of Angels !

I have been busy studying the History of Mankind by Desteni, lesson 4.

I had already gone through all of it but now I’m not as fearful as I was at the beginning and I can hear it better than I did at the beginning, I could do no more than 3 stories a day, I seem to get so tired and for sure it’s due to my resistance to this information, I’d rathered listen to stories of ‘good’ stuff, happy endings, love and light and that in truth we were all good, even if we seemed a little mischievous now and then.

Now that I am walking the Desteni process some days I am angry, some days I’m sad, happiness is nowhere to be seen anymore, reality is not a happy place for me at the moment and maybe this is what real is about and why so many are resisting fiercely reality and having to face it.

Last night I finished HOM lesson 4, the last one I think was about Anu and when Jack said he is truly a magnificent being and he will get over his disappointment for having had his plan fucked up by the portal, I wanted to smack Jack, what do you mean he is truly a magnificent being, hello, look at this fucking design, so much suffering, never mind he has to realize what he has done to himself One and Equal to everything that exists, he did not have to live it out for Eons, the fucker, did he ?

So that was the note I left the videos at, real anger, then I saw that whatever the cause of the anger it’s still just me giving it Life, breathing life into it, which only increased the anger as I realized we seem to be fucked any which way, what a cunning plan.

And then I dwelled in the idea that it’s just not fair, it’s like having come into a game with no memory, no skills, no idea why we are here, being brainwashed from the beginning and expected to get the fuck out of it by some chance meeting on the internet with the Portal, what about everyone else ? So fucking unfair, then I saw that the unfairness construct is just another enslaving concept because if every thought was coded and charged with some particular emotion, this could be the ultimate fuck up, imagine you start to play around with the idea that all this was a con, then you would be overwhelmed by feelings of rage and outrage and unfairness..and would lose anyway swallowed by the thoughts and emotions you allowed yourself to accept and allow within you, within me, within the Mind one just can’t win, a clever plan indeed.

I am coming to terms with this, really, that I will never be able to get out of this through the mind, some might think this is daft and where was I and what was I listening to since this was spelled out perfectly clear from the beginning, but this too must be part of this process, the futile attempt to work one’s way out of the mind through the mind, because if one has only been a mind it’s difficult to see any other way out, stop, breathe, self forgive this absurd participation, the mind is not a solution, whichever way one can twist it and bend it, it is in the very design of the mind the winning and losing and we have been losing for eons now, obviously this process is designed to make us realize just that, give up the mind or lose again and again and again.

And this is how we come to accept and allow it all, because within the mind we can only try to win for self, gasping to make it out of this nightmare that we have tried so hard to not see, by taking drugs, drinking, having “fun’, enter-taining ourselves with feel good stories and happy endings, hoping that tomorrow shall be better while tomorrow never comes and we lose sight of what needs to be done, what is best for all one and equal to each one of us.

Yesterday I read an article on the most widespread Italian newspaper “Corriere della Sera” regarding the Pope talking about guardian angels, they were reminding us the whole story, that I thought I had forgotten, of The Guardian Angel. The story goes that everyone has a Guardian Angel assigned at birth, some saints, the article said, used to stop before entering a door to allow the guardian angel to walk in first. The role of the guardian angel was to assist and protect, he was the middle man between us and the Good Lord, the assistant who was always on top of it, reporting back on when and where assistance was needed.

Of course only Christians had one apparently, now that I am reviewing all my beliefs and why and how I could possibly believe such idiotic stories I have seen these points while reading this article that I never saw before.

So, a guardian angel was assigned at birth to every Christian only ? So why were the non Christians allowed to be born at all if they were to be deprived of such an important guidance and assistance as the Guardian Angel? And were we not born into a specific family not by choice but by destiny, meaning God decided where and to whom we would be born, so God himself decided at birth that some would be Christians and some would not, so some would be lucky and some could just fuck off.

And what about the reborn Christians ? Would they miss out on the Guardian Angel because they were not assigned one at birth and then it was too late to change their mind and get one because the available Guardian Angels were all already taken ?

Or would they still get one, not a class A, guardian angel, a B series, one with no wings like the one in “Life is wonderful ” by Frank Capra, Clarence ?

And isn’t it strange that some were born into a life of misery with no guidance or assistance by the will of God and how does that fit in with the definition of a “Good Lord “, condemning some at birth to a life of misery and suffering ?

Or was God not in charge of the Guardian Angels, they were a legion of self employed crazy lunatics and everyone no matter Christian or not was given one at birth, without any supervision, but some were just too fucking incompetent to hold that job and they should have been fired after their first failed assistance ?

Where was God when abuse happened to the ones that were defenseless, how did I even believe there was a Good God taking care of it all and that some things we might not comprehend now but one day they would make sense.

Because they don’t, many one days have come and gone and brutal suffering still seems senseless, the goodness of God has to be questioned, especially when we realize we were made ‘in the image and likeness of God”, because if that was the original blueprint, we must carry some pretty fucked up stuff ourselves and we will keep carrying it until we stop and say ’til Here no further, stand up , take responsibility and change to what is best for all, which will entail having to walk backward and forgive our participation within this system of abuse of what we have accepted and allowed so that we may walk away from our blueprint, from our Creator and the guardian angels, the Fockers, them, us, the whole lot until we say STOP.

Yesterday I tiptoed into the PF and read some backlogged chats, many points were raised that made me see more clearly about “acceptance and allowance” and what this really means.

If I apply this to everything I wrote today I can see that my acceptance and allowance of my anger for Anu, Jack and the plan is just my acceptance and allowance that I am a victim of this situation, if I am a victim, I am not Equal and thus I am not the Creator of this reality but just an user/ab-user, an abnormal user of this reality by my own allowance and acceptance of having been duped and fucked beyond redemption and this cannot be the solution.

My acceptance and allowance of the belief in guardian angels and God is about my own abdication, my acceptance of me as a powerless frail being that needs assistance, because I am too dumb to work out what is best for all so in the mean-time I can be told what’s best for me and just do it with the blessing of the Focker God and his assistants.

My acceptance and allowance in the belief of guardian angels supports this system of inequality where apparently only some deserve to be assisted while others don’t, a belief I have accepted and allowed because it made me feel special, a chosen one, because I needed to be assisted and kept from the evil of th world that I came to accept and allow one and equal to my own belief in the need for protection, deliver me from evil, while others, the less fortunate, well, they must be less fortunate for some reason, they pissed God off and I did not, I made sacrifices for God, told plenty rosaries in the month of May to appeal to the mother of his son too, had my confirmation wearing a nun dress instead of a glitzy one which was what I desired, all to please God, went to Spiritual gatherings of Catholics, sang the new prayer songs while friends played the guitar because we were breathing new Life into the Church, singing about the value of suffering and how that makes us better, I accepted and allowed that we were less than the Creator, less than the Guardian Angels, than Mother Mary and all the Saints who seemed to be better than me at suffering and dying for God while I was scared shitless of both.

I accepted and believed that the Catholic Church was our Mother, thus more than me, that I had to confess my sins and receive absolution by a proper priest who was better and more than me, qualified to talk to God while I was nothing, the scum of the scum of the Earth, we had a special prayer that disgusted me physically that said, I’m not worthy of your Love, I repent and I suffer because I have deserved your punishment, even though I did not even know what I did and what I was punished for.

So to God and the Guardian Angels and the Saints and Martyrs and Mother Mary and the Priests and the Mother Catholic Church, I say, I have met the Fockers, bowed to them, feared them, respected them kneeled to them and prayed to them and the world is still the same shit hole that it was before I did any of these things, so much for the Holy intervention.

I now stand up for World Equality, One and Equal to everything that exists, standing equal to God and his devious plans, to stop me as the Mind, to stop my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings, in the desire to be more than others for fear of being less, I stand, I am Here, I breathe, I am One and Equal, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel sad when I watch stories about how we as humanity came about because when I accept and allow myself to feel sad I am powering this system of inequality and abuse, there are no worthy feelings, any feeling and emotion is a charge that powers this system that I am now willing myself to stop

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that if I am human I must feel sad for my fellow human beings instead I see this is just another idea that I play with in my mind to justify my participation in emotions and feelings because I have allowed myself to accept and believe that emotions and feelings are who I really am and I rather feel Sad and justify myself than not feel anything

I forgive myself for allowing myself to separate myself from everything that is Here and for perceiving others as others rather than others as Self

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am separated from everything that exists instead of realizing that when I am breathing Here I cannot be separate because everything is Here one and equal to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the sadness I feel when I think about who we are and what was our purpose on planet Earth because I accept and allow myself to feel duped and fucked instead of realizing that if I allow myself to feel duped and fucked I am one and equal to being duped and fucked

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I want to smack Jack for calling Anu ‘a magnificent being’ because I allowed myself to feel angered and outraged at our history instead of realizing I wanted to smack Jack because I see that Jack has forgiven and I have not yet since I would like to send Anu for eons to live on Earth AND THEN forgive him, which means my forgiveness is conditional to the punishment I think he deserves and thus not real

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe such a fuck up cannot be forgiven because in accepting that some things cannot be forgiven, no matter how BAD I judge them to be, I accept that some things of me cannot be forgiven as well, One and Equal

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe in my own judgements of good and bad instead of seeing that every time I want to label something as good or as bad, I’m of the Mind and thus not Here in Breath where I can make a real difference

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that somethings I have said and done and participated in cannot be forgiven instead I see that everything can be self forgiven when self forgiveness is absolute to myself and to others one and equal to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the sadness that I feel when I allow myself to accept and to think about having abused verbally my ex husband as I have believed to have been abused and for thinking that I have lost value in his eyes due to my erratic behaviour instead of seeing I have lost value in my own eyes due to the judgements I have made about myself and my erratic behaviour that I have not yet forgiven myself for and that I see playing out when my mother goes crazy because she believes she has lost value in my eyes beyond redemption

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I have lost value beyond redemption for some words I have spoken in anger to my ex husband because I meant to use words to devalue him while I only devalued myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I have devalued myself because of the words I have spoken in anger like my mother instead I see I can forgive myself and my mother one and equal and start again using my words in self responsibility and self honesty no longer to harm myself and others but as Self expression of me Here as Breath

I forgive myself for allowing myself to prefer fairy tales and happy endings to reality because of the way they made me feel because within this I have accepted and allowed the belief that feeling good is better than feeling bad and implicitly that feeling is in any way important, instead I now see that feeling is not real, only being Here in Breath is real

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I had a guardian angel, accepting and allowing myself to believe that I needed a guardian and someone who would assist me during the hard times, and within this accepting that the hard times were a given of this reality that I came to accept and believe to be the way things are

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there was value in suffering because I was shown that the ones that suffered the most and were martyred through extreme pain and suffering were rewarded, instead I now see that it was all bullshit taught to keep me in line within a system of abuse and suffering that made no sense at all

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the shame that I feel for having bowed and kneeled and pledged to have favours from God for myself accepting through these actions that I should only worry about myself and not about others who would have to do their own praying, bowing, kneeling and pledging

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that God was great and more than me even though the suffering in this world was obvious and senseless but I rathered not look at it in fear I myself would have to suffer

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the fear of suffering for others like martyrs and saints did

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that mother Mary was more than me because she was a virgin even after giving birth and that was unmatchable

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was less than virgin martyrs because they not only accepted to suffer but they were virgins too and thus more than me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe it was nice to have a monk as a friend that would say mass just for my family until he tried to molest me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the anger that I felt for the whole catholics after the monk friend of my family tried to molest me and then I could no longer beLIEve in their honesty and integrity

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I was disgusted by the Catholics and their hypocrisy while I see I was disgusted by myself and my own hypocrisy of not wanting to see the obvious system of enslavement and abuse offered by religion

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that we were here to learn some lessons that I didn’t even know or could remember what lesson was that I was learning, instead I now see that this is not possible and just a make belief I have bought into and breathed life into to give my life some meaning when I could not see any meaning for being on this planet at all

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to be free and for allowing myself to accept and believe I was one and equal to the desire to be free, thus accepting that I was not free accepting and allowing and confirming my state as a slave on this planet

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to have a guardian angel to look after me and to accept and believe I was the desire to have a guardian angel even though it was obvious that not everyone had one but I did not care as long as I was taken care of

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that guardian angels existed to look after us human accepting and allowing the belief that I was powerless and hopeless and needed guidance and assistance

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that guardian angels were good and sent by God to protect human beings, when I could see that some human beings were far from being taken care of but it did not matter as long as I was

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m a slave and will never be able to buy my freedom back because I have accepted and allowed myself to sell myself out to fears, thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead I see none of these are real or who I really am, One and Equal as Life

so I start by stopping myself as the Mind, I stand, I breathe, I am One and Equal, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical