Human Delusions : Debits and Credits


Yesterday a lady approached me on the street to ask me a weird question, she said that her friend just had a granddaughter and the parents called her ‘Black” , and she asked me if I thought that this was “normal “, she went on to saying that the parents were university graduates and they should therefore have known better, that when she laughed her friend told her everybody complemented them for the choice (liberal choice) and she ended with unfortunately the priest baptised her anyway because nowadays nobody goes to church anymore (so he has to take whatever comes and he can no longer rule on the appropriatness of names, unlike a few years ago).

Since I am becoming aware that if all that is Here is me, I’m taking everything that happens as a clue to something I’m working on, but yesterday I could not see clearly the connection to this impromptu approach, apart from possible racial issues that I may have suppressed inside under a liberal tag but I will look later into this point.

Then when I came home I read a few blogs, I read one about how when we get the pay check we feel a thrill and everything in that blog was about money and absolutely equal to me in every experience, a point I’m looking at to see where are my connections to the Money System, while I am discovering sadly that they are just about everywhere, hence the need to bring the Money System to Equality to stop all the bullshit we have alowed and accepted ourselves to define us and others equal to us.

Today the ‘nonsense talk’ of the lady that approached me yesterday came into focus more clearly, as I wrote yesterday I’m becoming aware that my whole life has been lived as a system of favours, where I would ONLY do something to get something, or think something to get a particular emotion or to feed an idea and a personality of myself.

So, I can see the talk of the lady in exact the same context, every word we speak, every sentence has a PLUS and a MINUS value, if I deconstruct her sentence into an apparente vocabulary accounting book it goes like this

” I want to know what you think about this ” (PLUS, giving me value, valuing my opinion even though we never met, but because of the VALUE she gives me she opens a door)

‘my friend just had a granddaughter and they decided to call her BLACK’ (MINUS, as she implied through her tone and body language the inappropriatness of such choice)

‘when I laughed’ (MINUS, she laughed at them, diminishing them)

‘she told me that they had received plenty compliments’ (PLUS, because she had the group approval)

‘what do YOU think ? is this NORMAL ?’ asking to cast my vote as MINUS or PLUS

‘the priest baptised her anyway’ (MINUS because the priest was irresponsible)

‘but he had to because nowadays there are very few people going to church’ (MINUS, implying both the lower rate of church goers and that he has to take ‘whatever’ comes)

So I finally saw the connection, I am showing myself that I and everyone else within polarity live inside a book of credit and debts, either trying to balance out according to our accepted and allowed definitions of whatever we think, feel and do or in the process of diminishing or uplifting a story (always in the attempt to balance out).

We are dishonest in our talk as well as out thoughts feelings and emotions, because we are participating within a polarity game and thus of the Mind.

The polarity game itself is like the book of profit and loss, debits and credits are recorded and played out in a never ending game of trying to win to uphold our personalities as ‘good’, deeply fearing to be ‘bad’, so the links to the Money system within our reality are everywhere, it is quite disheartening (interesting choice of word, that trying to dismantle the money system construct should be ‘disHEARTening, given what the HEART of the system is, MONEY itself) too see how deeply money infiltrates our reality.

We need to forgive all debts, in our memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions, to delete the profit and loss books from our life to allow a new economic system to manifest, if we are the system it is the system INSIDE of each one of us that needs to be addressed and corrected to the deletion of all credits we claim against others, we can start from there because the profit and debit book is a double accountancy system, once all the credits are given up the debit column will collapse, once we realize that all abuse was self abuse, our claims stop, our credits stop, the debts are not forgiven, they are realized into non existance and the new system will be brought forward as a replacement to the old system of abuse that is creating inequality and suffering within each one of us one and Equal to the world we live in

Investigate a new money system, delete your debits and credits book, set Life free, join us for a long standing solution at


I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m a system of debits and credits

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that all debits must be payed back

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the debits and credits I have created for myself and others equal to me through living this system of inequality into manifestation

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe it’s better to have credits than debits without realizing that in whichever financial column I input the data it will have to be balanced out

I forgive myself for allowing myself to not be willing to forgive all debts of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to collect all credits of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to collect all the perceived credits of my life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that debits and credits are real instead of seeing they are just mind constructs I have submitted to and abdicated myself to instead of refusing to play and standing up for All as One as Equal as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to separate myself from the words I speak through a minus and plus polarity that feeds the debits and credit construct and thus the Money system itself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there was fairness in this system of accountability because they are called ‘accounts’ and thus one is held accountable

I forgive myself for allowing myself to not see that I am the very creator of this system of abuse and inequality through my participation within a polarity game of decreasing and increasing values for every word I speak, thought I think and emotion I participate in, none of which is real but of the Mind

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there was nothing I could do to change this system because I refused to see how I was myself participating within and as it and thus giving it life, me as life, instead of standing as Life, as me, One and Equal to everything that exists

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge people diminishing them

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge myself diminishing myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to hold on to old grudges because they gave me ‘ credits’ over others that I was unwilling to let go in fear of diminishing myself as my credits/assets diminished

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that life is a game and that I should always look to win because games are about winning and losing

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that who holds the most credits, in any accepted from, of being abused, of being rejected, of being right, has more chances to win over others due to the accumulated credit/assets

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to win over others to be more than others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe there is nothing I can do to stop myself because I have allowed my Ego to tell me so while I see that if I can see what is going on I must be able to change to realign myself to what is best for All, dropping all illusions, all claims, all fears to be less and desires to be more, one step at the time, one point at the time, until I accumulate into what is Best for All

I forgive myself for allowing myself to judge myself and humanity for what we have lived out through our programming, I stop all judgements because when I judge I feed the credit and debit system log instead I STOP, I breathe, I see that all this is NOT what is best for all, self righteousness within this process is the ultimate CON of my Ego, because when I feel that I am MORE right than others for walking this process here I go again,  creating a plus for myself,  a credit, instead I stop and breathe, keep telling myself to STOP and breathe until I see I have stopped feeding the system one and equal to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that there are thoughts worth thinking even relative to this process, instead I stop fooling myself and just bring myself back Here every time my mind wanders, because when my mind is wandering I’m polarizing something as the mind exists ONLY within polarity and when I exists within the MIND I am of POLARITY

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I can only exist as polarity of the mind and for fearing letting go of the mind for fear of not existing

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the fear of not existing as the mind because I have allowed myself to accept and believe that the mind is who/what I am

I can stand one and equal to the Mind to take response-ability for what I have allowed and created within myself but I am not the Mind

I am HERE, I breathe, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical





Life as a system of Favours and the Book of Profit and Loss

These days since I am refurbishing this apartment I am going around with the guy in charge of the job to buy stuff for the structural changes that are taking place here like sinks, toilet bowls, tiles and everything that is needed to get the job done.

First I have noticed that I have a lot of preferences about how this house should look, like a magazine house, when I saw that clearly a few days ago I abandoned the tantrum I was having with myself about having it done in metal colours on the walls, because I saw it on the website of a ‘do it yourself’ supplier, even though I would have been unable to ‘do it myself’ and had to convince the guy that was first appointed to paint the walls to give the job he was unable to do to the other team that is doing the major construction work.

I was justifying this preference just as a preference, but when I looked at it in self honesty I saw that one thing was to choose a colour I wanted to experience that was not white, for a change, and another thing was to create so much troubles for everybody, adding another costly change, just to have this apartment look like the magazine picture that I saw, so I put everything back as it was decided at the beginning, OK for the colour, no fancy metal walls because really I don’t need them and no extravagant purchases that I justified with ‘ adding value to this house (meaning to myself)’, a house that incidentally, is not even mine but my mother’s.

The other day a friend told me that I should not make his same mistake that he considered everything he had when he separated belonged to the ex wife that helped him through some tough financial times giving up and living behind even the house that he had inherited from his parents on the mountains, instead I should remember that everything my mother owns is actually MINE.

This didn’t sound right, I have gone through this in the past and brought on myself much grief for this house where I live now that was supposedly left to me by my grandmother but not on paper (since my mum owned already 2 other apartments), until I had to let it all go from my mind and accept it was by Law her house now, so I accepted that everything my mum owns is hers, the Law says so and she is anyway always ready to point this out and because we are not yet within an Equal Money System where there is no property, there still seem to be properties and owners at the moment, so while I can use the house because it’s empty and my mother said she will be uplifted if I pay the monthly costs, it’s still not my house, I’m OK with this now, I am anticipating the Equal Money system :), I don’t care to own it, I’m happy if I can live here and she can hang on to the ownership, good enough for me as I need a place to live but I don’t need to own the place where I live anymore, I had an apartment and sold it a few years ago just for this reason.

At the moment, I own nothing, I blew everything I had in 4 years of lazy living while I leisurely studied alternative healing therapies on an island in Thailand, until I found Desteni and my hopes to manifest Money with LOA were forever deflated 🙂

In a way I’m not sorry that I don’t own anything anymore, because when I had money it was easier to accept and believe that I could buy almost everything and anything I wanted in my pursuit of happiness, including my right to abuse, now that I have no more money I have found out I have not been able to BUY myself happiness either. LOA bullshit 🙂

So now, when I go around to buy things for this house I’m forced to think about money and try to spend not more than is needed, a 12 dollar mirror is as good as a 100 dollar one, I have not used much of a mirror lately as it’s been pointed out to me as well because my hair looks ‘unkept’ :), so I found that Ikea which is a cheap furniture business here in Europe and another one that I found online that has more or less the same prices as Ikea are good enough, a table is a table, I bought the cheapest chairs of the shop, and a few other things to decorate. interestingly enough in my decoration I look for Asian things, because in Asia I felt more valuable than here and I have not yet been able to resolve this point within me, working on stopping the belief that I can be less or more in a country or another according to the money I make because I see this is at the root of this feeling.

Then I spent time spray painting stuff that I won’t have to replace since I have the time and doing something physical helps staying out of the mind. interesting because now that I reread this paragraph I can see I wrote it just to look good and conscientious that I’m now ‘Wasting’ money and actually recycling old stuff, I even exchanged my old fridge with another old fridge but bigger in the charity second-hand shop that came to take away all the old stuff for pennies, literally, I already wrote about this in the Forum.

My backchat has improved as well since I write myself out pretty much daily and I write it all out, I feared writing about money stuff, spending money and everything that concerns money because I have become more aware of how so many people struggle just to get to the end of the month and I will soon join them as I have to find a job to support myself, but since the backchat is diminishing I am actually enjoying more writing everything out, suspending self judgement at least when I write because I can say to myself I wrote honestly about what is going on in my head and in my life, not all of it yet but getting there, more because there is still much happening up there and not because I pick and choose, it’s just I should be writing all day long to catch up, but I have started to see glimpses of mind pausing when I breathe and keep reminding myself to breathe, so it’s like the gaps are growing in between the chatter.

I had an advantage as well within this process given that I had already fucked up my life beyond measure so remembering one of Marduk’s interviews about start from the good because that is not real, then you will see the nasty, I didn’t have much good to dig through and the nasty was pretty up there for me to see and write about, a good starting point, start straight from the shit since the sugar coating was gone for some time already.

I will write about Pot as well because I agree that Pot is the New World Order tool for the future and I would like to tell how Pot did not assist me in my Life, no matter what I told myself for 25 years to be able to keep it going, Pot is not a tool for freedom, that is a Lie, Pot is a tool for enslavement.

So, back to these days, when we go out and shop, some things I have to pay for, like the sink or the mirror, things that are not included in the cost of the refurbishment and I use my credit card, my Hong Kong one.

I kept my bank account that was granted to me when I had over a certain amount in cash that gives me particular benefits (and now only costs me), like being able to call the help centre 24 hours a day and I have been given a black card, not a black credit card, a black ATM card and a gold credit card, they offered me to upgrade to Platinum, I declined but they sent me the platinum card anyway(which I returned inactivated)  when I already had no money left, no job and I was not even resident in Hong Kong, because this is how the Money system works, it’s like in school, you make a good name for yourself and then you can live on Credit, banks ‘bet’ on individuals life potential to make money, this is another reason why I live in a financial dichotomy at the moment, I have plenty credit in Hong Kong, a country where I don’t even live anymore, and none in Italy where I live at the moment and where I have never been able to prove that I can play the money game effectively until I left 17 years ago.

I have even come to some understanding about what my next job will be, it took me some reading through the forum to see other people’s experiences with work and their realizations about the system but now I got it, it doesn’t matter what I do if my starting point is to do what is best for all as I am the system itself and I have to become equal to all of it without judgements that prevent me from generating money that I can then invest in this cause of changing the system from within, I cannot donate what I don’t have to help with the EMS project ad so I will have to stop my judgements and morality about right or wrong, about the fact that one field is more abusive than others because all fields at the moment are equally abusive if I take them from the starting point of self interest, still I need to become effective and make the money I need to support myself and others equal to me until the system changes to what is best for all. I still have backchats about this but I’m willing myself to stop and move myself back into the working force either as a trader or a teacher or both or pretty much whatever I can come up with.

So, today when I was paying for the stuff we bought and tried to look for things that were not overpriced and did not fit a particular image of myself I want to hold on to, but just practical, I saw that when I control the money I a powerful, even in the small things, and that there is always an unspoken hierarchy playing out that dances around the money and who is holding the wallet and that supersedes even gender inequality.

For example, the project manager and owner of the refurbishment company is a male, and this means he should pay for lunch, this is the gender unspoken  rule in Italy, Males always pay when there ia a woman (because we are inferior :)) BUT because I hold the wallet at the moment, I am supposed to pay for lunch, because he works FOR me, so working is in itself a form of accepted and allowed unspoken submission, when I work for someone I am inferior, when he works for me he is inferior, whenever I pay someone, in that very payment I buy my superiority, my power over Him.

This was an interesting point that connects as well to a comment a friend left after reading one of my posts regarding Italians feeling inferior to others with more money but then they consider the Chinese inferiors probably due to education and I saw that it is actually not education related but money related. The Chinese are inferior because they are in Italy because they need money and accept to make less than the Italians out of need, so the unspoken value of people is just based on money. If other nationalities come to Italy as bosses,like the British or the Americans,  meaning making MORE money than an Italian, they are superior, and then resented, but this game happened in Asia as well when I was an expatriate, so I was still an Italian in Asia, but I had MORE value because I accessed the money system differently, because the Chinese and even more the Philipinos, Sri Lankan, Indian, Pakistani made a lot less money than me, and I was of course resented for it too.

When I was growing up one of my favourite movies was the Godfather, ‘respect’ is a key word within my Matrix, this is because when I grew up I had none because of Money from my mother that used to tell me, this is my house and you will do as I say until you are under MY roof, funny because we had a similar discussion one week ago, the last one I had because I am NO longer participating in that since I have seen that it’s my doing, and at the height of it she brought up MONEY, how much I threw away in 4 years (of my money but she fears I might now need soon or later to get HER money), that she is now basically paying for this refurbishment that she has decided to undertake but never mind, she told me I should pay the expenses that I offered to pay in the first moment I set foot in this house but she did not accept and then I saw that the reason why she WOULD NOT let me pay is because within the Money lies the right to abuse another and to make them inferior (by their own allowance and acceptance, in this case mine) and this was one thing she was not willing to let go, and this exact same movement exists within me as I offered the lunch to MY worker ?

Since the last fight I claimed my right to pay, it sounds funny to put it this way but it actually is true, when you pay with money, the money that is an energy that moves hands buys one into equality, the money game stops, this is why the Equal Money System is the ONLY solution to Equality, because these games cannot stop unless we give everyone the chance to pay for their lives, literally, to buy their lives back, until everyone is Equal through this very ability to move the same amount of money around the abuse cannot stop, not mine either, because, no matter how the head project felt that ‘it was my duty’ to pay for his lunch and I believed it was my duty to pay for his lunch, he sold out his equality to me and I became superior, I became his Master by using the Master Card 🙂

So, why was the Godfather character so appealing to me ?

Because I was aware that I was living within a system of abuse and inequalities and  thought that the only way I would have to change that placement of me within the world would be to be like the GodFather, to create around myself a system of Favours, which is what the Mafia is, and which is what the Money System is. When one gets paid to live, he ows a favour, to his Master, the Money Giver, thus submission is born.

The Godfather commanded ‘respect’ through Fear and Money, when Money was not enough he could play out the card of Fear, strangely enough within my life he seemed as well the most Honourable, Most Honest and Greatest Caretaker of His Family, he would have done anything for His Family, for the Family, which played on another one of my Matrix programming, the desire to belong somewhere, to have a Family that would watch my back, and he always meant what He said 🙂 Having such a Hero, what does it say about the accepted and allowed beliefs I hold within me that connect intricately Money, Power, Fear and Abuse ?

So, I loved the Godfather because he was more real than all the other characters I had seen in my life, he was after power and control and made no mystery about it he got what he wanted through this ‘system of favours’ that we have accepted and believed is what life is supposed to be about, he was not shy to ask for people’s devotion, he commanded it. Money had given him the power to do so, my mother was the Godfather in my life but she did not command the same respect, not even close.

So I can see how Money has played such a big role in my life and how much I have suppressed this inside of me because money is considered a vulgar topic (funny that the word vulgar is from vulgus in latin , which means of the people, of the public, from the etymology from the latin dictionary ‘living word spoken by everybody” which means it was the ‘word of the people, the  language that everyone spoke, living word meaning the language that is alive that can change and mutate because of it’s aliveliness” and so we turned this concept of real equality into a nasty word in Italian, volgare means ‘gross’ now, undesirable, because Money means in itself the very opposite, Money standing as the living manifestation of inequality, of a system of favours for the elite/elected, the chosen onse, of favours that always have to be repayed, at any price, the Mafia system concept that will do anything to get what it wants, ultimate power and control.

The actual Monetary System is a Mafia system, it thrives on fear and inequality spreading it’s roots like an Octopus into every fibre of our society, it holds against every single human being the book of profit and loss to prove one’s worth according on how efficiently they have managed to accumulate this imaginary resource that we have allowed ourselves to accept and believe to be Real.

This is why the monetary system must change, it must become vulgar again, of the people, of ALL the people equally, the living word that everyone speaks and exchange, putting an end to a system of abuse and inequality that we have come to accept and believe and thus allowed to manifest through our fears of being less and our desire to be more, losing the sight that our only true and real power rests in the very Equality we tried so hard to bury and forget.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that whoever holds the wallet is superior to the one that doesn’t

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to live the life depicted in a magazine to give myself the value that the magazine says I will have when I will live such a lifestyle, which is not real

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was more valuable in Hong Kong than I am now because in Hong Kong I had worked out how to access the money system with ease and here I have not yet

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that the vaue of a person is measured through their ability to access the money system

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to have money so I will not have to depend on men giving it to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that when I have more money than a man I am superior to him because i have allowed myself to accept and believe that when I have less money than a man I am inferior to him

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to earn more than a man to l out the gender inequality that I have come to accept and believe to be ‘the way things are’ and that things cannot be changed unless I have more money than a man

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the Fear of having less money than a man because I fear I might sell out for money and to be taken care of

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the desire to be taken care of by a man or by a family that watches my back, meaning by someone who has more, higher and better access to the money system than I have

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that life is a system of favours and I have to do plenty to create credits around myself that I can cash in later, like the Godfather did so successfully

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that since this world is a planet of inequality and abuse I would rather be the abuser than being abused just like the Godfather did

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that the Godfather was ‘honourable’ because he was respected and commanded devotion from people around him, failing to see that he did this through abusing and scaring others into submission

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was honourable because I commanded respect through the use of Money and fear in people around me because I feared not being respected because I did not respect myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that when I give blood I create a ‘favour’ from the universe or good karma to be returned to me for a selfless act to help others while I just gave blood one week ago to feel good about myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the desire to have a lot of credits to be repaid by others who have a lot of debts with me for everything I do/did for them

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that since my mother always threw on my face what she did for me I have to instead suppress the desire of wanting to throw on people’s face what I did for them not realizing that suppressing this desire is the same energy play that my mother had in place with me and that I resented

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was better than my mother because at least I did not throw on people’s face what I did for them failing to realize that I still kept the system of debts and credits going inside of me, I just kept the book quietly instead than loudly

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I was better than others who did nothing for anybody instead of seeing everything I have done in my life I have done it as to create a credit to be paid back later

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that money is vulgar, when in fact money should be vulgar meaning, belonging to all people equally as a living supporting energy for Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m the unwillingness of letting go of my perceived credits for fear or becoming less than I am when I hold a book of debts and credits where the credits are longer than the debts

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that Life is a profit and loss sheet and that I better profit from it instead of seeing that it is my desire to profit in self interest that is creating the very abuse manifested in the world that prevents Equality to manifest for everyone

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that unless I can hold credits against others I can never be respected instead of seeing it is me that has to respect me one and equal to the world inside and outside and one and equal to Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I must manipulate others into feelings of respect and devotion through the ‘generous’ sharing of money instead of seeing that until I use money to obtain some form of energetic pay back from others I am living in self dishonesty and supporting the abuse and inequality of this world

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the dichotomy of a split personality based on how I have allowed myself to perceive myself in Hong Kong compared to how I judge myself and perceive myself in Italy as ineffective into tapping into the money system, instead I see I just took some time to make sure I would be able to clear and redirect myself to move from the starting point of what is best for all leaving behind my distorted ego enough to stand up for Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I was unable to stand up for Oneness and Equality because I was too fucked to start with, instead I see that this is my Ego talking, desiring to be specially fucked if nothing else, instead I accept I am equally fucked to all other that are standing up and walking a process to move out of the MCS to stand for what is Best for All

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the fear of being feared instead I see I always feared fearing myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to fear myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the fear of myself

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the fear of others instead I see I have always and only feared myself and having to face what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through my participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the fear of no longer being attractive because I connect being attractive with having value and thus by judging myself as not attractive I have allowed myself to lose value in my own eyes

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe in my own definitions of me as value as separate from me as Value as  Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that when I have a job I belong to the Master with the Master card that pays to own me and for desiring to have my own Master card to own others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the desire to own others and tha I can own them by playing the money game effectively because no one minds to have a Master that pays them enough, instead  see that Life cannot be bought or sold, or valued or de-valued using Money, because you cannot buy nor touch what is real using a make belief tool like Money

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that Money can buy anything and everything

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that people’s value is determined by the money game I have allowed and accepted myself to participate in, I now remove my support from the money game as a way to define the value of others because I give to others back their original value One and Equal to Life, one and Equal to me and everything that exists

I stand, I breathe, I am One and Equal, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical

Exposing Human Delusions: Brands, Branding, Branded ?

“We work to uncover the societal and unconsciously rooted knowledge that shapes consumer behavior, to develop highly strategic

and powerful business building propositions. The deep human insights we discover, create more human brands”

Let us show you how to harness the power of applied anthropology to create lasting human connections. “

– from a Branding Company Corporate Mission Statement –


As part of my process of Self Realization, today I want to look at the point of Brands, Branding, Branded within my Human experience.

I am Italian by birth and cultural programming, in Italy Brands are very important, Valentino, Armani, Prada, Miumiu, Max Mara, Dolce e Gabbana, Versace, each one of them brings up images and ideas about their particular brand, what they represent, what they are expressing, what they stand for as a Lifestyle, what they can add to our Lives.

Each one of them is a Club of their own, the access to the Club is exclusive and must be obtained through Money of course, the highest the image value they have been able to project, the more expensive the clothes and accessories. WHY ?

Because we are no longer just buying clothes and accessories for Self Expression, we are buying clothes and accessories to express what someone else has created and designed for us to express, and we pay a hefty price for it.

Brands have detroyed artisan businesses in Italy, because the small artisans could not compete  with the kind of Money that BIG BRANDS could put up to create an Image, an idea of a lifestyle, an idea of WHO are the people that buy their clothes and accessories, we have gone beyond the idea of clothing the body, now we are playing the game of WHO can cloth it better, who can get more value for themselves through the investment of money. We are exchanging Money for our Personal Value. We are buying Our Value, Our Worth.

In Italy they have drilled into us the idea and belief that what is branded has more Value than what is NOT branded, the quality is better, by mental association so we came to accept and believe that Humans that are Branded, are more valuable than Humans that are Not.

Popular words used by the Branding Community : worth, value, quality, exclusivity (this is a favourite), uniqueness, originality, individuality.

I want to say that lately I have been buying 2 euros tee shirts for the gym and found NO difference in the quality, they are made of cotton, comfortable and practical. the same tee shirts by famous brands would cost around 80 to 100 euros, the 78 to 98 euro price difference is our worth, when we buy those clothes we are using the money that is not the worth of the clothing but the worth of the Brand to give value to ourselves. And so the more we own, the more value and worth we beLIEve we have in the daft ‘money comparison game’ that we have come to accept and believe we must play.

Yesterday I watched one of the series about ‘the century of Self’ and how big corporates came to understand that human beings in the 60s and 70s were moving away from buying their mass produced stuff, in search for ‘individuality’ and ‘uniqueness’, thus a new market was born with the help of Social Antropological studies, we call this field today ‘Applied Anthropology’.

What is ‘Applied Anthropology’ ?

here is the Wikipedia explanation

‘Applied anthropology refers to the application of the method and theory of anthropology to the analysis and solution of practical problems.’

Now don’t go dreaming about ‘practical problems ‘ like famine or how to prevent violence, wars, social inequality and social abuses, we have to bear in mind that any study that is taking place in this world at the moment is MONEY based, meaning it’s about how to make money, more money, how to stop people from not allowing the ones who are making money from making money, how to manipulate and bring the people that have briefly moved away from consumerism, due to social or historical event, back into consumerism.

Why is that, why aren’t we addressing the problems that are plaguing the world at the moment, why can’t we see, stop and take a look at this reality of inequality and abuse and work towards soutions that would benefit All Equally ?

Because everything that is happening in the world at the moment is determined by Money, Money  has become the God of Man, nothing is more important than Money at the moment, no thing, no body .

If you doubt this have a look, this is Wikipedia explanation of examples of questions that an applied anthropologist would attempt to solve :

  • If an American buys diapers at 2 am on a saturday in a grocery store, what is likely to be their next purchase ? -I am not joking , please check that out by yourself –
  • How can public health authorities promote condom use among members of a particular sub-culture ? -note the use of this sentence, promoting condom use is not sponsored by health authorities, they are just the front line, these studies are promoted by Condom Manufacturers, who couldn’t care less about the health of the SUB- cultures, they just want to sell, so again Money running the show.
  • How can anthropologist on Human terrain teams help the Military identify local traditions of cooperative endeavors that may apply to well maintenance in Afghanistan ? – translation of this sentence – how can the commoners be manipulated through their beliefs and traditions to cooperate to maintain something they did not want in the first place but since the Democratic Dream team went and built wells under their forced down the throath infrastructure projects – check out IMF and World Banks and what they do in thirld world countries for MONEY – now we need them to MAINTAIN THEM ON OUR BEHALF AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

These are just examples of applied anthropology, the science behind Human Branding.

So, how did Human Branding come about ?

Through our needs and desires to be special, branding was nothing else but the reply to our own ‘desires to be unique individuals’, but uniqueness comes at a price, they license to us the right to ‘think and imagine’ ourselves as unique an exclusive.

When we look at it this way, it’s quite daft that we are participating in such a scheme at all, but how can we stop ?

We have to give up our desire to be unique and exclusive in favour of What is Best for All.

We have to give up our selfish desire to ‘dress up our Egos into imaginary personalities’, abdicate our wants and deep seated and suppressed desires for exclusivity in favour of What is Best for All.

Human Branding is a scam, it’s our Self Created Scam, we manifested it on our way of looking for value and worth outside of ourselves, in our quest for uniqueness and exclusivity.

We must stop EXcluding others to feel special, it’s time to include All in our quest for What is best for All, and we must remember, branding has just been revamped into ‘something good’ , have we forgotten what branding was all about just a few years ago ?

Let’s break free from our mental concentration camps that we have accepted and allowed hoping that we could ‘feel better about ourselves’.

We don’t need to feel worthy, to look for value outside of us, we need to stop believing we are worthless and find again our Value as Life, One and Equal to everything that exists.

Join us at Desteni, to change and free ourselves from the mental delusions we have embraced as real, there is only One of us Here, let’s drop our delusions for what is Best for All, we are One, not special, not unique, just One and Equal and that is more than enough once we can deeply grasp what it means.

Stand up, free yourself, do what is best for All as One and Equal


Exposing Human Programming : why we buy what we buy, really ?

Today I am still staying at the apartment that is being refurbished, there is no more a kitchen and one bathroom has been demolished and the other not finished yet, somehow it resembles how I feel about myself at the moment, a work in progress but mainly at demolition phase, not so pleasant. I have kept myself busy today spray painting some old iron chairs that were rusty, I like spray painting, usually I spray paint everything in silver colour because I like shiny objects and I like silver more than gold, proof that I am not a reptilian, one good point here 🙂

It’s been interesting to stay here because this house that somehow is mirroring my process of demolition of me, the Ego, has been a humbling experience, living with nothing almost for someone like me who was always so particular about everything is interesting, for 10 days now I have been wearing practical mismatched cotton clothes and pink crocs, which are anatema in Italy as they have been nationally declared the ugliest shoes ever made, so there we go, I am still here 🙂

I have become aware that I shop for value and not for need and so within the Desteni process that I am walking I have decided to see if I can deconstruct the advertisement world and disconnect it from my mind by looking at it mercilessly for what it is, a big fat lie that plays on my and our insecurities and desires to have some experiences or worth through the ‘act of buying’ useless stuff or even when not useless, like food, to buy a story that goes with it.

So, the walls in Milan at the moment are covered with an AD that I found very irritating from the first time I saw it, it still makes me react, Müller – Fate l’amore con il sapore (yogurt) , it says Make love with Taste. The first time I saw it I thought that the woman wasn’t wearing panties, and therefore in that position it must have been a delight for the photographer, this was a weird thought that came up but then I saw that if it came up for me it must come up for others as well,  men too, it is designed to come up, it is designed to connect SEX and a yougurt 🙂 Because SEX sells, so one point that I have started to notice is that many things are sold through images or hints of SEX either in explicit pictures like this one or other more subtle ones or in the sentences that are used to recall pictures in the mind. Personally this one doesn’t do much for me as wanting to buy that particular yougurt but the point of SEX is obvious, I’m not triggered just because I’ve not been sexual for a few months, have given up pornography and my participation within it and so the triggers are not so strong or maybe because she is a woman, not sure, anyway this one is definitely NOT working, if I look at the irritation point I think it’s because I find it somehow offensive, for women, debasing, so I will look into it and apply SF for this reaction because there must be a judgement in me of what is appropriate and what isn’t and this one isn’t.

Then I went and read some forums on advertising, one of the most famous we have in Italy is for pasta, Barilla to be precise, they have hired Young and Rubicam long time ago to do all their spots. Their spots are BIG triggers for me, they always depict happy families, fairytales images of peaceful living next to a windmill, running on grass barefoot within nature, they produce everything, from pasta to biscuits, to bread, to Healthy food with mixed cereals. Their sub brand that manufactures the sweet stuff it’s called the White Windmill, even in the name, WHITE, triggers in me this sense of neat and clean, of ‘proper living’ as life should be, happy people living in a windmill and eating sweet food, big bullshit.

‘where there is Barilla there is Home’

So, HOME, is something I buy into, the idea of belonging somewhere, mother in the kitchen baking biscuits, everything natural, everyone happy.

When I went on the Forum about this particular series of ads depicting ‘happy families’ someone asked in a thread ‘Why is Barilla always using images of Happy families?’ the answers were amazing, just 2 people said because they use what sells, the others said things like “I love to see happy families’ or ‘ would you rather they used the father that beats the mother and the children crying ?’ which I thought was particularly interesting and another said ‘better watch the Barilla happy family than the reality we live in’ and another said ‘would you like to see a divorced couple fighting for alimony instead ?’ and so I saw that I join a long line of people who actually would rather see the happy family even though most of us understand that THIS IS NOT REAL, it’s just that reality and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become simply sucks and we don’t want to face it.

Then I took down some ad key phrases that have become well known in Italy and we all know what they are about:

Adidas (sport wear) – Impossible is nothing

Amaro Averna – Il gusto pieno della vita (digestive – The Full Taste of Life)

Dove c’è Barilla c’è casa (pasta) – Where there is Barilla there is Home

Chivas Regal Il più regale dei whisky – Chivas regal, the most Regal of wiskies (this one plays on our desire to be special, to be regal, above others who are just commoners)

Colgate – Ti spunta un fiore in bocca (toothpaste – a flower blooms in your mouth, which is obviously impossible but with the flower they give us the image of freshness and beauty and desirable, even though the flower is born from manure but this is a detail we all miss within this ad)

Control: liberi di amarsi col cuore (condoms – free to love one another with heart – this one is great, sells both sex and Love in one go, this one is appealing to me as a system)

Cornetto Algida. Cuore di panna (ice cream – a Heart of Cream – so heart = love plus the smoothiness of the cream – appealing)

De Beers- Un diamante è per sempre (diamonds – a diamond is forever, now this is very interesting, with this we buy eternity, the diamond will live long after we are dead, so this plays into desire to live forever, fear of death at a more unconscious level, beating death, appealing)

Elah – La dolcezza cambia il mondo (candies – Sweetness changes the world, this is pretty clear, we buy  into the desire to change the world by eating a candy, which is way easier than having to face oneself in self honesty and self forgiveness)

Chi mi ama mi segua Jesus Jeans – Non avrai altro jeans all’infuori di me

This is Jesus jeans, this ad is old, it became very famous because the Catholic church asked that it be removed as blasfemy which made it even more famous, maybe the Vatican owns the Brand ? 🙂

This ad says ‘who loves me should follow me’ , this ad sells a LOT of stuff, it sells sex, love and Jesus too for good measure, not appealing to me but for sure had its fans

L’Oréal – Perché io valgo (cosmetics) – Because I’m worth it !, They still use this catch phrase, this sells because it appeals to people who have come to accept and believe they are not worthy, like me, so this one is appealing to me the system, always was, still is somehow.

Che cosa vuoi di più dalla vita?  Amaro Lucano – Voglio il meglio (digestive – interesting we make so many digestives,or bitters, obviously we overeat but this is not a problem since we can fix it with a digestive. Digestive are alcholics but they do not carry the same stigma of other superalcholics because they are ‘digestives’ which implys they have a ‘medical reason’ to be and to be ingested, so it’s not an act of indulgence but a proper prescribed ‘remedy’ to help digestion, they are sweet and bitter at the same time, a proper liver tonic :), the ad says ‘What do you want more from life – I want the Best’, this is a very popular take on everything that is sold in Italy, the best, we do everything better, a few years ago we made a tee shirt saying ‘Italians do it better’ so this rings deep at a cultural level, and it’s something we exploit when we go abroad, we take this belief with us, this was actually a belief instilled to make us feel more than others because due to large migration problems after the first world war where we had to go everywhere to simply survive and were seen as the ‘immigrants’and thus felt less than the ones who did not need to migrate we needed a National boost that came in this form, through Fashion and other manufacturing industries we bought into this belief to balance out our belief that we were inferior and had to migrate for survival. I have seen the same beliefs among Irish and Chinese, both migrants population, – appealing to me as the system)

Ci sono cose che non si possono comprare, per tutto il resto c’è Mastercard (credit card – There are things one cannot buy, for all the rest there is Mastercard – very appealing to me as the system for many reasons , one is the fake belief that there are things that one cannot buy, this spells integrity, something we obviously don’t have since Money can buy anything including lives, body parts, people’s dignity and pretty much everything else, second the power of being able to ‘buy ‘all the rest’ I have seen myself feel a thrill when I put the ATM card in the distribtor and money comes out, THAT action is charged all by itself with lots of stuff, including the sheer pleasure of seeing money coming out of a wall, very empowering, so this is a very charged ad for me)

Con Nelsen Piatti li vuol lavare lui (dishwasher soap – with Nelsen Dishes, He is the one that wants to do the dishes, another example of pure bullshit because men in Italy DON’T DO THE DISHES, no matter what brand of dish washing soap one buys, so this appeals to the desire of women that with this brand he actually might, not particularly appealing to me because I have a dishwasher but I can see the trigger clearly)

Nokia – Connecting people (phones – desire to connect and not be lonely and isolated, fear of isolation)

Pirelli – La potenza è nulla senza controllo. (tyres – Power is nothing without Control – this is very interesting and more appealing to men I guess because they are the ones buying tyres, it’s a play on words, because they pretend to mean it that the tyres give you the control over the car but as well they give you Control and Power)

Rocchetta – Puliti dentro, belli fuori (mineral water – clean inside, beautiful outside – clean inside, because we are dirty and then the desire to be beautiful outside – appealing)

Sector – No limits (watches – self explanatory, desire to be able to do anything and everything believing that one cannot)

Una telefonata allunga la vita (Phone company – One phone call lenghtens Life, desire to live longer)

Standa – La casa degli italiani (Shopping Centre – the Home of Italians, playing on the desire for a Home, family and then nationalism)

TIM- Vivere senza confini (Mobile phone company – To Life without boundaries , as opposed to all the boundaries we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live within, so desire for freedom as we perceive ourselves to NOT be free)

Vecchia RomagnaEtichetta Nera – Il brandy che crea l’atmosfera  (brandy – The Brandy that creates an atmosphere, so desire to have a certain atmosphere to live in, a certain lifestyle, not a Life, just a lifestyle)

Vodafone – Life is now! (Mobile phones – playing on our fear that we may be dead so they remind us we are NOT and Life is now – appealing)

Y10. Piace alla gente che piace (car – Liked by the people that are liked – desire to be liked by others, to be among the ones that are liked and not the ones that are dis-liked, desire for value – appealing)

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I am the desire for a home and a happy family that lives in the White Windmill in the middle of nature without a care in the world

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am the irritation I feel when I see pictures of women used to sell products that I judge as debasing for fear that their debasement is my own debasement reflected back to me

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I’m the desire to be worthy because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own worth as me as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that Italian products are more worthy than other products because I was told so and never questioned it because I enjoyed being more than others as a manufacturer of better products

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the thrill I feel everytime I get money out of the ATM machine because I have allowed myself to accept and believe that a human being’s worth is based on its access to the money system

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to buy anything and everything with a credit card because being able to use a credit card gives me value

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I’m the value I get by using a credit card instead of seeing that I look for value utside of myself because I have allowed and accepted myself to separate myself from value as me as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that being able to participate in buying gives me value because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from me as value as Life

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to be liked by others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the desire to be liked by others

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that I can be triggered into buying to give myself value instead I see I can stop myself and see there is no value in buying anything, I will only buy what I need or want as a treat no longer for the purpose of adding value to myself but as self directive principle

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe that shopping is a desirable part of life instead I see that Life needs no shopping to exist, Life just is

I forgive myself for allowing myself to desire to buy things that appeal to my fear of death or to my desire to live longer for fear of dying

I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept and believe I am one and equal to the fear of dying, I am not the fear of dying, I am Life in the process of birthing itself into the physical, I stand, I am Here, I am One and Equal

The Design of Infinity

So, I am back to the apartment that is in the middle of refurbishing after leaving my mum’s home.

My mum’s home is everything fake you can imagine, pastel colours, a fireplace that she had built but she doesn’t use because she would have to clean it otherwise, fake flowers, fake plants, fake cartoon characters that remind her how life is in truth magical and lovely, fairies, little animals from the woods, anything that is not real to support the illusion of ‘Well Being’.

I know I am in the middle of a personal storm, talking to my mum is becoming difficult and an effort, as I used to agree to everything she said, looking for reasons to appreciate our predesigned placement in the world, as the ‘lucky ones’, this is why she resents me at the moment pointing out anything about this system of inequality that I have accepted and allowed equal and one to myself, when I bring this back to self, this is why I resent myself bringing up anything that rocks my sense of having been born ‘lucky’ within a system where luck is rare, I resent the facing of reality that this process is about.

This morning we walked down to the river, we saw a family with 2 retarded children, I didn’t comment because I see I’m on the verge of questioning everything and making everyone uncomfortable along the way and because I still carry guilt for having been the one pointing out how we should ‘always look at the bright side of life’, she was the one saying ‘wow, both children have problems’ I heard the backchat going ‘yes this is your Good God taking care of the details of life for everyone on the planet’ but did not speak.

I spoke instead about an electric central designed at the beginning of last century, she said ‘it’s beautiful’ but I could no longer see the ‘Beauty as an Absolute’ as I don’t know how one century ago people who had to make that happen, like the pyramids, felt about it, is the struggle of some that ‘serve us’ beautiful just because it appeases a ‘beauty sense’ that was programmed into us ? I don’t know, I just said ‘I cannot see ”absoulte beauty’ anymore there are no absolutes but opinions, and I felt I pissed her off when she went quiet and silently annoyed, come on, why don’t I want to play the game of ‘thanks God we are so lucky’ anymore, freaking maddening especially when you see we are REALLY lucky ? 🙂

I had an Ok weekend with my mum, we had a small bickering about her wanting to teach me ‘when is the car’s petrol cap really closed’ and I said ‘it’s not like I have to take a university class, once the cap doesn’t come off, it’s close for me’ but we had to call the petrol cap authority at the petrol station because honestly how can one have the ‘wisdom’ to work out basic stuff like that by themselves ? The authority that puts the approval seal seems to be always needed. It did not blow into the usual ‘out of proportion thingy’ as I’m becoming aware that it’s me just resenting still being taught at 47 years of age, because I allow myself to feel ‘incompetent’ and thus worth less than the competent ones, the petrol cap authorities that can say with the given knowledge: ‘it’s close, you are safe to go’.

As well I discovered I fear heights, we were walking on a bridge with a low handrail and I felt dizzy, this was a revelation because I was used to wear ‘my fearless personality’ for so long that I never noticed I was actually afraid of heights, so applied self forgiveness on this fear and had to wonder how many other fears I just hold and have suppressed and hid under my ‘fearless personality’ ?

I left to come back to Milan, my neighbour called to say she noticed something strange at the door, someone put the cleaning broom under my entrance handle, she called me to tell me this because I asked her back the copy of my entrance keys to give to the workers, she did the exact same thing last year as well, I was not angry because I understand she wants me to be here, in case something happens to her husband who is sick, and because when I was a kid I used to do the same kind of shit so I see where she is coming from, self interest is always overriding what is best for all at the moment, it is for me  at least, so it must be for everyone else surrounding me as well, One and Equal to what I have accepted and allowed One and Equal to me.

When I came home I listened to ‘The Design of Infinity’, wow, the story of not being more than ‘a washing machine’ hit home particularly hard, my mum bought the cheapest Chinese washing machine a few years ago, it cost 6 times less than the Italian or 10 times less than the German brands, but still it does all the washing perfectly and it sings a song once she is done, a Chinese Heavenly song :), she never had to repair it nor had any complains about it, which means one washing machine is one and equal to another, there are no BETTER washing machine but in our minds.

So, being Equal to a washing machine was the lowest point of my day,  read Maite’s blog about ‘this being her last life’  and it was another eye opener, on how I personally struggle with the idea of doing ‘all this’ for something I might not even see and who gives a fuck since I’m just going to die and be deleted, but this is just a washing machine talk and what else could I expect from a washing machine ?

And so this is the challenge, can I drop my washing machine identity, stop living in cycles from cleaning to rinsing and stand up for what is best for all?

Funny thing is I know I can, that there is something inside of me that can do that because I see that my very participation in washing cycles and believing something needs to be washed clean from the Original Sin is what this has all been about, I just resent not having someone leaving a stone to remember me by, to make me special, even after death.

Can I drop my dreams and wants even though noone will ever make a fuss about it, not even me, just because I see that any other thing I do is just meaningless ?

I was once a washing machine with a maid 🙂 My maid thought and believed she was less than me, a washing machine because I was born equal to a Miele, German made, or Ariston, Italian made, the best, by popular belief and she was just a Philipino washing machine, she had no market value, no access to the Money game 🙂

It’s a big step, because some of us believed they were nothing all their life, I thought I was something because there were people who believed to be less than me and I met them and hired them and treated them with ‘equality’ withing the inequality game and kept the CON going.

But this is just the game /design of infinity that I  have kept going one and equal to me, to support my delusions to be more than Life itself, so I could give myself the value of being a better washing machine than the lesser ones that accepted that their value was less than me,  because they had less access to the money system than myself.

I’m hurt by this, my Ego weeps, I had it sweet comparatively, and as my mum always poins out, ‘we are the lucky ones’ so what the fuck are you sour about ?

But I know now what I’m sour about, I’m sour about me, for what I have accepted and allowed to be manifested into existence because of my need want and desire to be more than others so I would not have to be less.

Coming back to Italy has been a challenge, I have become Equal, to all other Italians, there is no longer anything exotic about me, anything to make me more.

My mother was ‘ashamed ‘ of me for the past week end because I look so mismatched, no make up, all colours mixed together, she told me ‘it’s so unlike you’ and today she  even asked me to comb my hair, a total new thing,  because when I don’t -comb my hair-  I make her less than when I do and look neat and tidy, after all when I was ‘more than her’ it was better, she is discovering now, at least she could pride herself of having such a daughter, that could match colours and always look tip top when she could not, facing the ‘lesser me’ is throwing her off balance too.

But there is another way, we could all just will ourselves to STOP, the ‘being less/being more’ game, attributing to each other more or less value according to what clothes we wear, the food we eat, the money we make, the education we have, and remember this, washing machines are not comparing themselves to each other, my mother’s Chinese washing machine is NOT going to the psychiatrist because the German ones have a more positive feedback, she just keeps going and doing what she was designed for, above comparison, a skill we have not yet developed in full.

So, I have to say this, we at the moment are LESS than washing machines as we are still lost within the comparison game, we could start by taking a hint from the washing machines of the world, being Here, doing what is Best for All at all times.

Let’s clean up this mess,  I am an Italian washing machine, you probably are not if you are reading this in English, anyone cares ? 🙂

Then, when we have cleaned the mess we may start again, as Equals, playing a whole different ball game, where Self Expression rules and there won’t be any more racial, religious, national, cultural confinements to tell us what Self Expression is all about.

Join us in the cleaning up at and investigate an Equal Money System at to stop the abuses and inequalities of this world and stand All as One and Equal for what is Best for All.

Exposing Human Delusions: Why do we believe in God and How we can STOP and get Real !

I am spending a couple of days with my mum and looking at this point using our time together to look at her beLIEfs as she is the Matrix where my beLIEfs originated and were taken onboard as the Truth.

I was born a Catholic, I can say I was born a Catholic because in Italy we had no choice, baptism happens before we can speak and say ‘actually no, thank you’, from baptism on we have other 2 sacraments, 1 is the Holy Communion and the other is the Confirmation. Before the confirmation time at school we were never told that there were ‘OTHER’ religious beliefs in the world. We assumed Catholicism to be the only Truth and what everybody believed in all over the world.

The first time we were introduced to the con-cept that there were other religious beliefs on the planet was after confirmation, we were given a research into Islam and Hinduism, that was a big eye opener, because the question came up within me , if we believe in the Truth, how can other people believe in other Truths ? Isn’t the Truth just one ?

According to our social studies teacher, everyone was entitled to perceive God in their own unique way, this was blasfemy for the Catholics but she was ‘open minded’ and would give everyone the Free Choice about how and who to worship as long as we could agree ‘that there was something, some power bigger than us managing the whole creation and that created everything and that we were supposed to be good to each other’, basically she saved the omnipresence, all knowing, all encompassing, creator of all that exists quality of God, the rest were ‘personal details to refine’.

In these days that I am spending with my Italian mother, she often uses the term ‘let’s thank the good God that…’ or ‘the good God saw to it’ …’or the Good God had it all worked out in such way that…’

This morning we went for breakfast, a black guy came into the bar wanting to sell a bunch of useless things, many African people who come to Italy can’t find jobs, some don’t even look for them, they accept their position of inferiority within ‘a white society’ and make do with shuffling around with meek looks selling lighters or paper napkins’ the bar owner told him ‘you cannot come here everyday selling knick knacks (and basically disturb the people who are having breakfast who get to feel guilty about you standing as a sore reminder that the ‘Good God’ must have left some out of his Good Planning), my mum scoffed at the bar owner and gave him 1 euro anyway, this is where I get the giving into giving money to beggars by the way as I have copied my mum’s behaviour so I get to drink my coffee and NOT have to feel guilty about not levelling the field with those that don’t have anything to eat and still get to accept ‘the way things are as unchangeable and live the illusion I’m doing my bit, I’m a good person after all, not like the others who drink their coffee shamelessly and GIVE NOTHING ‘ !

So an act of pure self interest that has nothing to do with the guy that walks in, we all get to use him, some so they feel smarter than him because they didn’t believe that he has a daughter with a sick heart or some other bullshit and some like me give in so we get to feel better/more than the guy that doesn’t, all involved within a polarity play that makes us all blind (will expose this reality in another post, how and why we need the needy and helpless in our lives and what is our energetic payback).

When we walked out I said to my mum that black people in Italy seem to have more chances to get a job when they go to jail, because after jail someone gets to take care of them, as ex offenders they are put inside charity associations where they work for pennies or just for food, I know because the charity association that came to remove my old furniture for free had one of such guys working for them and they told me they are assigned to them when they are on probation, ‘controlled liberty’ is the name for it here, of course they are not paid a ‘minimum wage’ sustaining a system of inequality that is designed for them to fail and she said ‘I don’t want to have this discussion’.

I felt a bit of resentment because I had an arsenal of arguments to make about the freaking ‘good God’ she is always talking about that seems to take care only of certain people, only in certain countries, and if He created it all could he not see where all this was leading, where we would all end up, who can make an argument FOR God these days, and for the Good God especially ?

So I looked at why and how I first accepted the belief in ‘ a power bigger than me’ One and Equal to me to start with, in my life, and I saw the following

First point is Group acceptance, noone else believed anything different when and where I was born, so I have accepted this belief that it must be so if this was the story passed on from people in power and even friends and family, people ‘who love us’ so we assume that if enough people we trust believe something IT MUST BE TRUE.

Then I accepted this belief because when I looked at the inequality and evil going on in the world I was told, that was NOT God’s creation, that was man’s creation at best or the Devil’s creation at worse, so this means, that God could NOT foresee what his creation would end up creating thus he is NOT ALL KNOWING, it proves as well that God is less powerful than the Devil because no matter how GOOD He was, he could not stop the Devil doing all the mess he did when He interfered with his creation, either this or the story of the Devil is not real, which would leave God as Creator of both Good and Evil , thus basically God is an All Knowing Sadist.

God created us out of Love and because he wanted to be worshipped, mmhhh, this sounds weird, we beLIEve that God is the only one that Loves unconditionally BUT he loves ONLY those who worship him, isn’t that a condition ? So God is unable to love unconditionally, it was just a gossip that we came to believe wishing for the unconditional love we were NOT able to give to ourselves.

God is everywhere: really ? Is he there when children are raped, when violence occurs, when wars break out, when people die of starvation..and he is turning the other cheek, looking the other side? So, back to the point above, he is not just a sadist, he is an irresponsible sadist, that doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own creation.

So I abandoned God, or so I thought, and embraced the Universe 🙂 HAHA, Same bullshit, different clothes, it took me a while to work it out, this bullshit went under the name of Law of Attraction, you can attract to yourself anything you want,  the Universe is abundant, limitless, anyone can tap into the Stream, get into the Vortex and have a wonderful life experience.

I liked the Universe more than God, it wasn’t so personal, it seemed more like a physical pulling and shoving of energy within an energy game, but then again, I had to look at one point, what about the ones that are suffering, that were never born in a place where they could attract to themselves what they needed never mind what they wished for, lacking food, a shelter, clean water, was it possible that there might be something wrong with the very design, within this polarity design that we have come to ACCEPT as normal, as the Yin and Yang of Life ?

Could we be just the engines that allow the polarity design to keep churning, destroying lives, increasing the suffering on one polarity esponentially according to how much ‘it’s required to GIVE INTO the desires of those of us that already have more than enough’?

Could we be the very God that is fucking up at every accepted and allowed thought within polarity that we participate with and accept within ourselves ?

Because in common sense, when we look around, where is this freaking God that is wasting up humanity? Nowhere to be seen.

The only real thing we can all see is Human Beings,  plenty of humans, whose only Real God, loved, desired, worshipped, longed for, prayed to, craved for : MONEY.

Money is the only real God that is creating and turning the wheels of this reality, Money decides who lives or dies, so Money is God of this creation, Money has become the creator of this world fuelled by our insane greed, selfishness and desire for power.

Is this Creation Godly? We have seen reality for what it is, it’s ugly, there isn’t beauty everywhere, that is an illusion, infact there isn’t beauty anywhere, if you switch off your TV, stop going to the movies and look around yourself you will see it for yourself, my mum tonight said ‘there is so much suffering around us’ when she was done telling me all the sad stories of the people that live in her same building ? Oh yeah ? And where is your freaking Good God now ?

We hold on to this belief for 3 main reasons

1 Fear, we are terryfied to discover that there is no meaning to this creation, or none where we have been looking for  until now, that happy families don’t exist, that the purpose of Life is not to get married and have children, that going to work is not Our Right but Our Enslavement and that basically everything we hold dear is just a Lie

2 Habit, if not God, the good One, who designed this reality and why and what is the purpose of such an experience ? This question would push us to think in common sense, that if there is no Creator, if I cannot find a Creator of it all, then I must be the Creator, could I be the Creator, how do I create this reality and how do I STOP to correct myself and realign to What is Best for All ?

3 Responsibility: if I am the Creator, not aware of how I am creating the whole, the good and the bad, the prosperity and the starvation, I am responsible, wow, responsible, it’s a word tainetd with truckloads of guilt for us Catholics or Catholic imprinted :), responsible = Guilty as charged, go in your corner, say 20 rosaries, and repent 🙂 Or, we could be response-able, we could stand up, say STOP, til HERE no further and work out HOW to make a change within ourselves as the World, One and Equal, stop being Unconscious Creators and become Response-Able Creators, to Stand for What is best for all.

As Osho used to say, kill your GOD if he is not yet dead for you and then kill any idea you hold that doesn’t stand for Oneness and Equality, the World can change when each one of us can stand in Self Response-Ability for What is Best for All.

Investigate this reality at and investigate an Equal Money System, to make the first necessary correction to this Creation of Inequality that we have accepted and allowed and Created by default, any choice we don’t make gets made ‘by default’. The world we live in is in ‘default’ mode, each one of us will have to enter the system as Administrators and no longer as Users and change the default settings from Self Interest to What is Best for All, because WE ARE ONE, so what is Best for ALl is Best for You and Me too.

Exposing Human delusions: Earth The Planet of Free Choice


This morning I went for breakfast to a Pastry Shop close to where I live, every morning they bake at least 15 different pastries so I had the following choices:

Chocolate croissant, Cream croissant, Pistachio croissant, Apple strudel, Apple Danish, Empty Croissant, jam croissant, Raisins Croissant, Cooked cream croissant, Cream and jam croissant, Chocolate and raisins twist, Cream cheese croissant.

Since I have been questioning reality and the equality principle with Desteni I wondered what kind of choices to match mine would have other countries in the world, so I thought in the USA they have Muffins of all sorts, they have doughnut made famous by policemen in movies :), they have apple cake, in France apple tart, Tarte Tatin, Croissants of all kinds and then I thought what are the choices of Somalia people to match ours, and here they are :

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing and not even clean water.

View This Image

Wow, we are taught that on this planet it’s all about ‘free choice’, yes, this is true if you are born in a country that is wealthy, then you will have plenty of choices to indulge from.

But if you happened to be born in a country that has been deliberately kept underdeveloped, like half of the world, really, what choices do you have ? None.

Many of us can relate to the abundance of choices available in our First World Countries, when I lived in Hong Kong going to Starbucks was a headache, latte, cappuccino, big, small, medium, with caramel topping, skimmed milk, cannella powder on top, so many decisions to make just to get a drink, FREE choice.

But if you were born in Somalia, or Congo, or certain areas of India or Korea or Cambodia or the Philippines is your choice as free as the free choice of the rest of the world ?

No, this is why we classify countries as First, Second and third World, by their ability to choose, meaning, by their ability to access the money system.

In the Philippines there is a region called Davao, it was meant to be the ‘Bread Basket of the Philippines’ it was designed for that, meaning it enjoyed special fiscal status on the land so that the farmers that would set out to cultivate there would not be killed by taxes.

But then a First world Country came :), under the name of  Dal Monte and Dole, they fund out about the special tax regime of the region, when you have money the world is at your fingertips :), and so they convinced the local farmers to sublet the land, committing their production to be turned into Pineapple production to them. The result of this Corporate Clever Operation resulted in a country starving, the people in Davao took to shooting on the land of the Foreigners and they were called terrorists.

This is what they tell us in the news, Davao is a dangerous region full of rebels and terrorists ! How would you feel if people full of money came and stole your bread to guarantee and supply the demanded and defended FREE CHOICE of the First World Countries ? Would you embrace a gun to protect your children from starving ? Who is designing violence in the hearts of peaceful people like the Filipinos ? Is it our greed? Our unwavering belief and desire for Free Choice? The desire to eat pineapples that don’t even grow in our countries all year round at the cheapest price possible ?

When we look at the world because it seems so vast, we seem unable to see the consequences of what our opinions and beliefs create, we fight for our right to the Free choice we cherish that reduces other countries into abject poverty and misery, and then we change this story to soothe our hearts, so His story becomes History and we tell the tale of the vicious Filipinos who embraced guns in the region of Davao and made it a dangerous place 🙂

But honestly, who  are we kidding ?

I was an advocate for Free Choice, I thought everyone had the right to have it, unfortunately reality tells us another story, not His Story, not Our story, just the story of how things really are.

We have designed a system of abuse based on greed and self interest, our right to a Free Choice is putting countries that do not enjoy our same access to the Money System in dire misery, creating undignified and miserable lives for their inhabitants and their children.

Time to give up our right to Free Choice in favour of What is Best for All, then when I will go and pick a pastry at the pastry shop I won’t have to be flooded with images of starving children whose only choice is to hang on to Life without food and water for just another day. And nor will you, we’ll be thinking abou their food of choice, NO FOOD is NOT A CHOICE.

Let’s stand up to change this system of inequality into a system that benefits All Equally, a new system that will change how we perceive the world, what we have allowed and accepted to manifest so far, a system of Equality is already HERE, we just need to look at ourselves One and Equal with everything and everyone that exists and make a decision, lets’ give up Our Right to Free Choice so that the suffering and inequality can stop and everyone may have a dignified Life.

Will You ?

Join us at an Equal Money System at, it’s not Utopia, it’s Up To US 🙂